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Join our community of cat lovers on the Mumsnet Cat forum for kitten advice and help with cat behaviour.

Grieving for my bengal cat

42 replies

Love2dance · 21/04/2023 13:05

My family and I have just had to have our bengal boy put down at age 13. My family and I are so, so sad. I know their downsides and that they can be a pain in the a**e. We loved him dearly. He came to us just before my youngest DS was born and when my older DS was 3, so he grew up with 2 children. Yes, he was a bit wild in his play as a kitten (he used to ambush us in the garden by jumping on our ankles!) but we think that although he came from reputable breeders, he possibly wasn't handled as much as he could have been as a young kitten, unlike our first, female bengal, who sat on my lap the first day we got her.

With lots of patience, a calm atmosphere and love, he grew into the most affectionate, chatty, family cat. My children loved him. He knew his name and understood when I was offering him a tummy rub and would roll over (in fact, he would demand tummy rubs by coming up to me and just rolling over). He never scratched or used his teeth unless he had a sore bit. He was territorial and though he didn't go looking for fights (as an older kitten he tried to be playful with a local hard cat who came into our garden but got beaten up so didn't want other cats in the garden and there were occasional fisticuffs). The vet commented that he wasn't like other bengals they see as he was so easy to handle.

He did not tend to kill birds but was something of a ratter.

I wanted to post this, not only to express my grief but also to let people know that not all bengals are difficult and aggressive. They are not for everyone and are probably not entry level cats and of course each individual is different, but with the right level of attention and training and the most gentle handling as kittens, they make wonderful companions. We are bereft and will miss our dear boy very much.

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DontMakeMeSayItTwice · 21/04/2023 13:22

😥Sorry for the loss of your beloved boy. I had cats for the past 43 years, and our last boy was killed by a car last October. I loved him so much. Your boy was loved as a family member. You looked after him so well, and you'll miss him, but will remember the affectionate/funny ways he had

Love2dance · 21/04/2023 13:53

Thank you for your kind words. I really appreciate the understanding and sympathy from another cat person, I know lots of people don't like cats. Funnily enough, I love cats but my body does not. I am allergic to them!

I am sorry to hear you lost your cat in that way, it must have been heart breaking. Even having been a cat owner for over 20 years, I do still find it amazing that we can form such a close bond with these sometimes mysterious creatures, but the love we have for them is very real..

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Xjshdvf · 21/04/2023 13:55

I’m so sorry for your loss . We have bengals and they’re lovely; we love their characters and they’re so affectionate.

Tidsleytiddy · 21/04/2023 14:06

So sorry to read about the loss of your darling boy. Cats are very much family members. Every day when I pick up my boy and smell his fur I try to breathe in the memory in case he is ever lost to us. Thinking of you x

Love2dance · 21/04/2023 14:36

Thanks so much. We are grateful that his suffering wasn't long and drawn out.

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Love2dance · 21/04/2023 14:37

Sorry last message should have said thank you Xjshdvf.

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Love2dance · 21/04/2023 14:39

Tidsleytiddy thank you. Yes it's good to appreciate and enjoy them while they're with us. I still miss a cat who died in 2009! Perhaps I am over-sentimental, but they really do become family members don't they?

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Clarice99 · 21/04/2023 14:48

So sorry for your loss 🌻

Bengals do get 'bad press', a lot of times without any foundation. Your boy had a lovely life with you by the sound of things, and your memories of him will always be with you.

I have Siamese and Oriental cats and so many people make negative comments about them being jealous and spiteful, which is absolutely ridiculous as they're very loving and loyal.

JackOBothSides · 21/04/2023 14:49

Very sorry to hear about your Bengal boy. It sounds like he had a good life with a lot of love - and that you did the right thing for him at the end Flowers

One of mine is a Bengal and she is easily the softest and cuddliest of the four, but absolutely crazy. She came to us as a kitten, via a very roundabout route, and I had no idea of the Bengal reputation. It took a couple of years before she really found her voice, but OMG can she be loud!

She spends about 22 hours a day stretched out in the garden, on a sunny window ledge or under a radiator, and one hour twice a day going completely bonkers attacking things/people/trees, racing round like a lunatic and shouting her head off. She’s my best spotty girl - totally feeling the Bengal love ❤️

Love2dance · 21/04/2023 15:41

Clarice99 I am very fond of Siamese and Orientals - in fact it was a slightly difficult Siamese that I grew very fond of as a child, owned by my grandmother. Thank you for your kind words.

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Love2dance · 21/04/2023 15:44

Thank you JackOBothSides. She sounds lovely!

Thank you all. Rather than making me feel sad, it is lovely to read about the high jinks that others' cats get up to.
Bengals are a bit crazy though!

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FormerlyPathologicallyHappy · 22/04/2023 07:36

They’re just spirited with a zest for life. I miss mine very much too, he was a mummy’s boy & we loved him.

Im sorry you lost yours too. They are great little cats.

Tidsleytiddy · 22/04/2023 10:17

Love2dance · 21/04/2023 14:39

Tidsleytiddy thank you. Yes it's good to appreciate and enjoy them while they're with us. I still miss a cat who died in 2009! Perhaps I am over-sentimental, but they really do become family members don't they?

So true. I adore our cat. We all do. He’s so much more that “a cat”. He has his own unique, irreplaceable personality. Sending love to you 💐

Eggseggseverywhere · 22/04/2023 10:25

May we have a pic op? We lost one of our moggies 3 years ago.

Sorry for your loss.

Love2dance · 22/04/2023 12:12

FormerlyPathologicallyHappy · 22/04/2023 07:36

They’re just spirited with a zest for life. I miss mine very much too, he was a mummy’s boy & we loved him.

Im sorry you lost yours too. They are great little cats.

Thank you and I'm sorry that you too have suffered a loss.

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Tidsleytiddy · 22/04/2023 12:17

Eggseggseverywhere · 22/04/2023 10:25

May we have a pic op? We lost one of our moggies 3 years ago.

Sorry for your loss.

Oh yes, a pic of him please 🙏🏻

Love2dance · 22/04/2023 12:38

Eggseggseverywhere · 22/04/2023 10:25

May we have a pic op? We lost one of our moggies 3 years ago.

Sorry for your loss.

Thank you. 3 years is nothing at all - I'm sure you still feel it.
I will dig up some pics and post later.

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Love2dance · 22/04/2023 13:44

Love2dance · 22/04/2023 12:38

Thank you. 3 years is nothing at all - I'm sure you still feel it.
I will dig up some pics and post later.

Here they are. He did love his tummy rubs (this was my DS giving him one in the last picture).

Grieving for my bengal cat
Grieving for my bengal cat
Grieving for my bengal cat
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caringcarer · 22/04/2023 14:54

So sorry your Bengal boy is gone. My son has a Bengal boy and he is so vocal and very affectionate to him and even allows my sons girlfriend to pet him, because she sometimes feeds him when she stays overnight, but strangers beware. Other local cats are literally terrified of him. My son can't live with his girlfriend because his cat would kill her cat. She has a soft little female ragdoll. They say they can't get married or live together whilst they have 2 such different cats. They are both devoted to their cats.

caringcarer · 22/04/2023 14:54

Your Bengal boy looks so much like Toffee my son's Bengal boy.

Clarice99 · 22/04/2023 14:57

Beautiful!!!!! ❤❤❤

Tidsleytiddy · 22/04/2023 15:00

Gorgeous chap. Beautiful colouring and fur 🥰

MissHavershamReturns · 22/04/2023 15:05

He was a beautiful boy op! I think he was very lucky to have an amazing life with your family. I’m sorry you have lost him and be kind to yourself at this time.

Eggseggseverywhere · 22/04/2023 15:46

Wow he is very Regal looking op! What a stunner!. My boy was just a bog standard tabby!

FormerlyPathologicallyHappy · 22/04/2023 17:12

He’s beautiful. You have to own a Bengal to know how big their personality is compared to some moggies. I love my moggy but if I had her a 100 years she couldn’t be as entertaining as he was.