What do I do?

[PinkSparklyPussyCat]

After losing Harry DH and I have struggled to adapt to being catless. We have been approved to adopt a gorgeous, super friendly tabby boy and we’re supposed to be picking him up today but I’m seriously apprehensive.

I miss Harry more than I ever thought possible and cry every day. Is it fair to bring a new cat into this or will he start to heal me? What if I don’t bond with him? What if I don’t love him enough because he’s not Harry? What if I start to forget Harry?

We met him on Friday night and he is the most gorgeous, friendly boy - real lap cat. He’s FIV+ and has been at the rescue 2 months already and could be there ages (the last one was over 9 months).

I honestly don’t know what to do but it has to be right for the cat. We can give him a good life, love and a cat proofed garden but can I do it? As much as I hate the cat shaped hole it’s Harry I want to fill it but obviously that can’t happen. I’m so conflicted 😢

Hopefully he'll still be available after your holiday. Have a great time.

Oh, Toddler! That's a little harsh :(

I am sure that whoever adopts Eddie will love him and he will be well cared for.

I really feel for Pink her DH. Everyone manages grief differently and I think they both deserve a holiday and time to grieve and heal.

Sorry if that's a bit harsh. It wasn't intended to be.

Posts crossed!

1. We didn't decide not to get Eddie just so we could have a holiday. It was a spur of the moment decision once we had told his foster mum.
2. Eddie is not in a pen, he is in a lovely house with foster parents who adore him and he will remain there until he gets his forever home.
3. It's not just my decision whether we get another cat, DH has as much say in it as me and we have agreed that neither of us are ready right now.

I'm sorry.

No worries, I'm feeling oversensitive as I'm picking Harry's ashes up on the way home.

It probably did sound as though I'd rather have a cat than a holiday but that's definitely not the case!

I didn't read it that way at all! I was really surprised how upset I was when I collected Maia. I thought I'd be fine. But I was in bits. But felt right to have her home.

I'm just over invested In Eddie!

I hoped you knew me better than that! I'm dreading picking Harry up tonight but I don't want to leave him at the vets any longer than I have to bless him. I think we need him home before we move on.

I've got 2 weeks off work so the plan is to go away for the first week and have a think about the cat situation. If we decide we're ready I'll contact his foster Mum to make sure he's still available. If not, someone has got very lucky and has a lovely cat.

I don't blame you, I am just a bit as well! The thing is it has to be right for DH and I. He's very patient and tolerant but I don't want to push him into another cat before he's ready.

Harry is home. I collected his ashes from the vets tonight and he's on the shelf he was banned from when he was alive.

I'm sorry Op, they break your heart when you lose them. Too early for a new cat but I'm sure your new cat will be lovely when you get him, cat purrs are very soothing. Too the pp I love the name Mr Stripey

I think that’s exactly the right decision, & the cat doesn’t know any different. It would be far tougher on him if you took him & then realised you’d made a mistake.

Have a lovely holiday.

Update time!

First of all and most importantly to DH and I, Harry is home. I collected his ashes on Tuesday and he's now on the shelf he was banned from when he was alive. It probably sounds daft but I feel more settled now he's back.

We're going on holiday next weekend as planned but the big news is, the rescue has agreed to reserve the cat for us until we get back and we're picking him up on 5th May! I didn't think they'd hold him for that long but his foster parents wanted us to have him and were happy to do it.

I think this is going to work out best for everyone. He get the break we need and he gets a home with a garden.

And that is the right decision!

Oh @PinkSparklyPussyCat I’m so happy for you!
Harry is smiling at you from his shelf too 😊

Other than DH you were the first to know!

I was surprised they agreed to hold him for us but the rescue was keen for us to have him because we have the cat proofed garden.

I can't tell you how delighted I am! I think Harry would definitely approve. Even if he thought cuddles are not for grown up manly cats. 🤣

I still can't believe a rescue wouldn't consider you because you have a cat proofed garden. 🙄

Harry wouldn't dream of cuddling me voluntarily, although he did tolerate forced cuddles!

It wasn't just the one rescue that turned us down in the end, the RSPCA wouldn't even consider homing a 14 year old cat to us because of the cat proofing. I admit it doesn't look the most interesting garden for a cat at the moment but that's because we had an 18 year old who was happy to potter around and have a snooze!

I hope this doesn't sound as though we only adopted our new cat because he was all we could get, it's absolutely not that!

Of course it doesn't sound like that! I never imagined that a cat proofed garden would be a barrier. My garden is also cat proof. (Well Persian proof)

I explained there is a road out the front that isn't really busy but has it's fair share of idiots and a row of garages at the back where it would be easy for a nosy cat to get shut in but it didn't make any difference.

Eddie was obviously meant to come here!

I know how you feel. Its nearly a year since mine passed and I so want another but I just can't. Not yet.

You have done the right thing for you. Enjoy your holiday, then enjoy getting to know your new master ❤ Do you have any pictures?

Congratulations to Eddie! He has no idea how happy he is going to be! Roll on 5th May.
And lots of pics op!