Help with my cats behaviour?

[sugaryouth1]

I have a cat. He's about 7 and a half months old. He's neutered and chipped and he has just started going outside.
He doesn't really like being outside so he isn't made.

We are having a couple of issues with him.
First of all he steals food and is now getting very aggressive about it. My daughter is 2, almost 3 and she cannot have anything to eat. He growls at her, jumps up at her, hisses and grabs things off her. He does it to me and my husband but less so. I think cos she's smaller he will go for her. He hasn't bitten her but I am scared he will. He's on a good diet of mixed wet and dry. We've started putting him in his cat carrier which I don't really want to do but it's the only way my daughter will eat unbothered.

He's started spraying, he's neutered and was done at 6 months. Again it's my daughters stuff and I don't know why. Her bed, her toys.

He has stopped using his litter box. He goes outside it. We change it regularly. He's always had 2. We've tried every litter on the market. He won't go outside so doing his business outside isn't an option.

We play with him, we spend so much time playing. We have 4 feliways in the house. Another cat is not an option, we didn't even want one but circumstances happened.

As awful as this sounds I'm starting to get annoyed. I'm sick of cleaning up his mess, I'm sick of my daughter not being able to eat in peace. I've been to the vets and they said he may or may not grow out of it and it could be his personality. Health wise he's fine. No issues.
I've told my husband if this doesn't change soon I'm going to have to look for somewhere else for him to live. I'm aware this makes me sound awful but I don't know what else to do. He's 7 months, he could live for another 20 years.
Any suggestions?

Is he a particular breed or a moggy? Your first port of call is a trip to the vet to rule out any health issues. The vet should also be able to advise on behaviour.

@BlueKaftan he's a moggy. He's been to the vets. She said health wise he's in perfect health. And it could be his personality. May or may not grow out of it

Rehome him. Your daughter comes first.

@BrutusMcDogface honestly that's the way I'm swaying. Husband thinks we should try everything first. I'm trying not to drip feed, he's insured but it doesn't cover any behavioural problems so a trainer (if there are cat trainers) is not financially possible.

I shouted no at mine in a loud voice to stop food stealing. Followed up by water pistol if required. You can see them thinking, oh food I’ll just go get some….That’s when you step in before they do the behaviour. You have to be consistent though. Easier said than done in a busy household.

Is he doing the toilet just out of the litter tray or whatever, ie hasn’t meant to but goes with his bum hanging out so the mess isn’t contained in the tray? Or is he toileting all over the place wherever he feels like it and doesn’t look twice at trays?

Take it he’s not neutered yet as he’s young? That would be my starting point.

@Elieza he's neutered. Done at 6 months. We do the no and pulling him away. He's so bloody quick. It's the growling and hissing that scare me. I've always had dogs as a child. I didn't know cats could growl.

He's just going to the toilet for both weeing and poo. We thought the litter box might be small so we got a bigger one, then we got a hooded one, then we went back to the smaller one. He won't use them. He literally goes wherever. The vet checked him over and he's healthy. No issues with anything.

@Elieza I think investing in a spray bottle will be my next step

I can't advise in the aggression/ food issues but I'm having a a similar problem with one of my cats with respect to the litter box. He will wee next to it and scrat about trying to cover it. Drives me nuts. I've taken to putting puppy pads round the box. Does your cat try to cover? And is he spraying or squatting? If you can catch him in the act what is his body language like (eg pedalling back paws while spraying, flagging/twitching tail?)

He's not scratching or even attempting to. He squats, he goes and then he walks away.

Using punishment to manage a cat that already is showing multiple stress signs is likely to lead to more problems. Where did he come from OP? Was he feral/stray? What age did you get him?

I think you need a referral to a proper behaviourist

Where did he come from ? What age did you get him.
Sounds like he’s possibly been taken from mum at a young age, so not socialised properly either with cats or humans, or both.

Talk to Cats Protection, they know a lot about cats. If they can't offer any help or advice then they may offer to rehome him for you which honestly, I think would be the best way to go. A preschooler and a kitten is just asking for trouble and its not fair on either of them. Your kitten is exhibiting several different problems.

The growling over toddlers food is very bad, as is your response by putting him in a carrier. (This is the main problem cats protection might be able to advise on).

Litter tray problem - cats like different things, some like clumping litter some don't, some like pellets, some like asda own brand, etc If you can afford it put a different item in several trays and see which one he goes for.

Another tray problem, - has the vet specifically checked his hip and knees joints for pain? The sides of the tray might be too high for him to get in painlessly.

Going outside - cats have territories. A kitten might have to fight another cat for the right to use his own garden and he will know if there's a terroritorial tom about, you won't.

In short, your cat is unhappy inside the home and is unhappy outside it and that's no way to live. Some cats can cope, some can't, and I think yours is showing it can't. Its no reflection on you, every cat is different.

Call Cats Protection x

He does sound stressed and poorly socialised. Where did he come from?

It's possible that you're just not the right home for him.

My husbands brother got him. He was 10 weeks when they took him. He was an accidental litter from a friend of a friend. My husbands brother had to suddenly relocate for his job and the accommodation didn't allow pets. He looked into rehoming him but there was absolutely no room in any rescue centers. My husband is a massive cat lover and my daughter also loves animals and we took him in.

He's had a check up from head to toe for everything. We have bought every litter and litter tray on the market and he just isn't going. The vet suggested feliway which is in every room. I know some people have suggested behaviourists but it's not financially doable. I have him insured but it doesn't cover behavioural issues. Just physical. There's no wiggle room in the budget.

I don't want to put him in his carrier. But I also want my 2 year old to be allowed her tea without crying that the cat took her chip or the cats growling. It's proper aggressive growling. His ears are back and his tail goes all fluffy. I'm scared he's going to bite her.

I'm going to speak to my husband again and I'm going to ring cats protection.

How long has he lived with you, 2 homes at such a young age.
He might just be finding his feet and will calm down once he feels secure.

I don't want to put him in his carrier. But I also want my 2 year old to be allowed her tea without crying that the cat took her chip or the cats growling. It's proper aggressive growling. His ears are back and his tail goes all fluffy. I'm scared he's going to bite her.

I do understand ❤ perhaps I didn't word it properly. I only wanted to get across the urgency that this won't end well if something isn't done soon. And you are right to be concerned as hes showing food dominance over your child. Rather than carrier could you put him in another room with a couple of treats before giving your daughter her food?

@Mardiarse he was only with my husbands brother for 3 weeks so 13 weeks when he came here.

You said he stopped using his litter box, did he used to use it ?can you think of anything that changed around the time he stopped using it ?
Did you move the tray ?
Change the litter ?
New cat in the neighbourhood ?
Sorry to ask so many questions, cats can be really fickle and don’t like changes and I think he also maybe a bit insecure, due his background, which he may grow out of once he feels more settled with you.

I think rather than in the carrier just shut them out when you are eating?

I do understand I have a very aggressive cat that does actually bite and hiss and scratch, it's difficult to manage. Have you thought about medication?

Surely the point of having a pet is to bring some joy into your life, not stress and misery?

You "owe" the cat a home, food and affection, but the cat also "owes" you. If a cat is aggressive to your daughter and not house trained then the cat has to go.

@Mardiarse he stopped using it just before he got neutered. And the vet assured us that most cats go right back to it once there done. And he hasn't. I can't think of anything. Litter box has always been kept in a alcove downstairs and one in the bathroom. I mean it was Christmas before he got neutered so we had a tree up etc but no other big changes

Has he been checked for a uti? He really isn't that old stop changing his litter around that will aggravate the situation

Have you tried zyclene? You can get it from pets at home also maybe calming cat treats/food

@Theunamedcat we only started changing his litter when he stopped using it. He was on asdas clumping from day one.
I haven't even heard of them but I'll give them a go. I'll have a look in pet shop.
No infections at all. He's a physically healthy cat

He sounds very stressed and unhappy.

Does he have access to outside?

@coffeecupsandwaxmelts yeah he doesn't go. He just cries on the front step and cries to come back inside. We have a massive cat scratcher. He has plenty of hide holes. We even added shelves on the walls so he could get away from the toddler. Didn't realise I needed a hidey hole for my toddler.