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The litter tray

Join our community of cat lovers on the Mumsnet Cat forum for kitten advice and help with cat behaviour.

Original poster

How to get kitten when husband is allergic?

59 replies

LuckyEarthDragon · 12/02/2023 20:03

Hi everyone,

I am desperate to get a kitten. I grew up with cats and love them. A house doesn’t feel like a home to me without pets, and a dog is too time consuming for us just now.

However, husband is allergic to cats.

Starts sneezing / bunged up within 24-48 hours of being in the same house as one. We cat-sat for my friend for a week recently and he managed but was struggling by the end of the week, even with anti histamines. I know lots of couples where one partner was allergic but when they got a cat the allergies subsided. But have also heard that sometimes allergies gets much worse and cat has to be rehomed (which I’d never want to do and would feel awful)!

Would you risk getting a kitten? I keep thinking about it and husband is happy to try but I just don’t want to risk having to re home the cat if his allergies get unmanageable - it would feel so cruel.

Also love my husband (despite his allergy ;) ) and don’t want him to live in permanent mild suffering.

Advice?

OP posts:
WorkingItOutAsIGo · 12/02/2023 20:04

You can’t have a cat. Sorry.

mauvish · 12/02/2023 20:04

Forget the kitten. Or forget the husband. I don't think you can have both, however much you'd like to be able to.

MaraScottie · 12/02/2023 20:04

I think getting a kitten would be selfish and unfair on your DH.

PritiPatelsMaker · 12/02/2023 20:04

Which one is more important to you?

Original poster
LuckyEarthDragon · 12/02/2023 20:05

Tough call Priti… ;)

All your answers are exactly why we’ve not got one so far. But I’m so jealous of the couples who did risk it when someone had an allergy and it all worked out fine!

OP posts:
pawz · 12/02/2023 20:06

Is there any type of cat he's less allergic around? I wonder if like dogs they can be hypoallergenic? Might be worth an investigation!

RaininSummer · 12/02/2023 20:07

What about one of those weird bald sphynx cats?

Beamur · 12/02/2023 20:08

If you want to 'try before you buy' how about contacting a rescue and explain your situation and offer to do short term foster care for cats?
That way you could see how badly your DH is with cats, have a little kitty time but in the context you know you can't get too attached...
If it's tolerable you might decide between you if it's something you can live with or not.

Beamur · 12/02/2023 20:08

PritiPatelsMaker · 12/02/2023 20:04

Which one is more important to you?

😂
It would be cats for me..

Masterofcats · 12/02/2023 20:11

My friend was in exactly your position ( she almost got rid of husband). She ended up getting a Deven rex cat, which is apparently less allergic. Husband still alive and well so must have worked.
Cats lovely and full of character

felinelucky · 12/02/2023 20:11

Siberian forest cats are less allergenic, and an absolutely lovely breed, but expensive though.

Silverboot · 12/02/2023 20:11

I put on my dating profile that I had a teenager and a cat so potentials could filter me out. My chap who I’ve been with for 7 years is mildly allergic but controlled by anti histamines. And he can’t say he wasn’t warned

PritiPatelsMaker · 12/02/2023 20:12

It's me that's allergic which is horrible because I used to have cats and loved them so much.

Now I have to take mega antihistamines and go to a cat cafe for a cat fix.

Original poster
LuckyEarthDragon · 12/02/2023 20:12

Fostering is actually a great idea, could definitely look into that option

OP posts:
seasidegirl83 · 12/02/2023 20:12

As someone who has an allergy to cats, I really wouldn't do it. It will be miserable for your husband and very unfair. If you don't suffer from allergies it's hard to understand how awful they make you feel. It's not just the sneezing and watery eyes, it also affects your chest and breathing and can make you really tired. Antihistamines do not fully eliminate symptoms and he shouldn't have to suffer in his own home. You could always consider a hairless cat...I suggested this to my daughter but she was horrified and told me she doesn't want a cat who looks like dobby 😂.

Lochjeda · 12/02/2023 20:13

We got a Bengal and my cat allergic husbands had no issues with her.

Smartiepants79 · 12/02/2023 20:13

My DH and actually my Dd are allergic to cats. We chose to have one ( it was my DH who instigated it). We have found that their allergies were bad for a few weeks. They had to be careful with not putting their faces too close and washing hands. BUT their bodies adjusted to the allergens from our particular cat.
Still allergic to other cats! Not ours!

SpacePotato · 12/02/2023 20:14

You don't get a cat.

Original poster
LuckyEarthDragon · 12/02/2023 20:16

Seaside yes it’s his breathing that goes dodgy so I definitely wouldn’t want to subject him to that permanently.

I’ve heard / read about more hypoallergenic breeds but still involves a level of risk I’m not v comfortable with.

I’m thinking the fostering option could be the best bet to get a bit more info on whether he’s someone that would get better or worse with more exposure, although I imagine that’s a fairly long road to go down to set up for the first time!

OP posts:
1stWorldProblems · 12/02/2023 20:17

A couple we know had this situation & they got cats when they found they couldn't have children - he had a week of hell (& took antihistamines) and then the allergy went away. He's now completely fine now to the point where one of the current set sleeps on top of his head.

glasshole · 12/02/2023 20:19

Beamur · 12/02/2023 20:08

If you want to 'try before you buy' how about contacting a rescue and explain your situation and offer to do short term foster care for cats?
That way you could see how badly your DH is with cats, have a little kitty time but in the context you know you can't get too attached...
If it's tolerable you might decide between you if it's something you can live with or not.

This, and buy some petal cleanse spring. You rub it on the cats coat every week and it reduces allergies MASSIVELY. Combine that with a really good quality hepa air filter in the main living space, daily brushing/ hovering/mopping and it could well be fine. Do not let the cat in the bedrooms.

hotdiggetydog · 12/02/2023 20:19

How could you be so abhorrently selfish?

I have a severe cat allergy. It would be horrendous to live with one.

DestinysGrandchild · 12/02/2023 20:19

Why would you get a cat if your husband is allergic? I don't understand.

Would your husband make you keep eating something you were allergic to because he liked it? Probably not.

HundredMilesAnHour · 12/02/2023 20:25

I'm allergic to cats. A selfish flatmate of mine brought home a cat. In addition to the usual allergy symptoms (sneeezing, rashes, eyes watering etc), I also started having breathing problems. Turns out that the cat was a trigger for me starting with asthma. According to my GP, cats are quite a common trigger for asthma.

You would be incredibly selfish to do this to your husband.

aureus3012 · 12/02/2023 20:27

I am highly allergic to cats but my boyfriend has 2. There have been times when I have had to go home early from his house and then felt awful for 2 days after. However things have improved.....I take fexofenadine hydrochloride, which works for me much much better than cetirizine or loratadine. I have a hepa air filter in the room (£40 ish from Amazon), boyfriend washes his bedding and stops the cats going in the bedroom. We are planning on moving in together in a year or so and I have said they will absolutely not be going in the bedroom and we will need to minimise carpet in the house.

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