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The litter tray

Join our community of cat lovers on the Mumsnet Cat forum for kitten advice and help with cat behaviour.

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Original poster

How to get kitten when husband is allergic?

59 replies

LuckyEarthDragon · 12/02/2023 20:03

Hi everyone,

I am desperate to get a kitten. I grew up with cats and love them. A house doesn’t feel like a home to me without pets, and a dog is too time consuming for us just now.

However, husband is allergic to cats.

Starts sneezing / bunged up within 24-48 hours of being in the same house as one. We cat-sat for my friend for a week recently and he managed but was struggling by the end of the week, even with anti histamines. I know lots of couples where one partner was allergic but when they got a cat the allergies subsided. But have also heard that sometimes allergies gets much worse and cat has to be rehomed (which I’d never want to do and would feel awful)!

Would you risk getting a kitten? I keep thinking about it and husband is happy to try but I just don’t want to risk having to re home the cat if his allergies get unmanageable - it would feel so cruel.

Also love my husband (despite his allergy ;) ) and don’t want him to live in permanent mild suffering.

Advice?

OP posts:

Pebbles16 · 12/02/2023 20:30

I love cats but I am highly allergic. We looked after my BIL's two cats for 10 days, I had to check in to a hotel after three because I COULD NOT breathe and scratched my skin raw.
PLEASE do not do this to your husband

scrivette · 12/02/2023 20:35

DH wants a cat but I am allergic to them, it affects my breathing so we won't be getting one.

I don't think fostering would work, my SIL is mildly allergic to them but has one and she is no longer allergic to him. However she is allergic to her parents cat still and sneezes when she is at their house.

kitsuneghost · 12/02/2023 20:37

What a ridiculous idea. You would really put a pet above your husband's health. Or are you having some kind of weird joke

Wolfiefan · 12/02/2023 20:39

I have two cats and I’m allergic.
I wouldn’t be getting kittens. I wasn’t allergic to them as kittens. I am allergic to them as adult cats. Some adult cats don’t set me off. So I would rescue. Find a rescue centre that would maybe let you visit a couple of times.
I take a daily antihistamine. Hoover a lot. Only ever damp dust. Keep cat off bed or even out of bedroom. Groom cat frequently. Outside! Petal cleanse wipes are also supposed to help.
Also. Allergies can get better. Or worse. You would be devastated to have to give up a cat I’m sure.

Ronhill · 12/02/2023 20:45

I'm severely allergic to cats, it's absolutely awful, I could end up in hospital honestly it's more than just sneezing. We moved into a rented flat once and the previous people had had a cat a year before, I had to leave 4 hours later as my asthma was so bad. It's a hell of a risk hoping he'll just be ok

TheForgetfulCat · 12/02/2023 20:50

I would highly recommend Siberians if you're in the position to pay for a pedigree . Most breeders will organise an 'allergy sitting' where you can meet a cat and get a general idea of how they affect you. And most would be sympathetic to helping rehome the cat if it really didn't work out.

My husband sounds similar to yours and has no trouble with our two

How to get kitten when husband is allergic?

TheForgetfulCat · 12/02/2023 20:52

PS totally understand that you wouldn't want to rehome and hopefully that would be a very long shot if you'd already done the allergy sitting.

OnTheBoardwalk · 12/02/2023 20:55

Fostering sounds a great option for a try before you buy, of course you would have to let them know it could be a short foster. Rescues near me are crying out for fosters

You would have to be massively on top of hoovering and wiping surfaces though

Original poster

LuckyEarthDragon · 12/02/2023 21:00

Thanks everyone for the advice, this is all v welcome and useful!

For those saying I’m cruel to my husband - he’s more than happy to try it and see if it improves! And presumably he knows what he’s getting himself into as he dated me for 1.5 years before we moved in when I was living in a house with cats and stayed there regularly, and now often stays with my parents and sister’s family when we visit who all have cats, and has allowed me to cat sit friends’ cats in our own home for up to a week.

It’s me that doesn’t want to subject him to it long term if it’s a problem that wouldn’t go away, because although he’s very loving and would put up to make me happy, equally I love him back and 100% want him to be comfortable and happy too.

OP posts:

Original poster

LuckyEarthDragon · 12/02/2023 21:01

ontheboardwalk that’s great to know they are keen for ppl to foster. For some reason in my head that’s not the case so I’ll look up some local places and see what they say and what their requirements are :)

OP posts:

CopperMaran · 12/02/2023 21:06

I have allergies (everything from dust up really!) I do have an asthma inhaler, steroid nasal spray and a fabulous eye drop from the GP that stops all itchiness (over the counter medication made my eyes worse!) and also on two types of antihistamines… but I would have to take those medications anyway even if we didn’t have cats. So we have many cats… other people’s cats still trigger my allergies but I’ve got used to my own and they don’t anymore. For me, cats are worth it but I am a self-proclaimed crazy cat lady (the dog, kids and DH are just a disguise 😆).
If you can’t have a cat in the house, sometimes rescues have feral cats that need a safe outbuilding to sleep in but wouldn’t want to come inside. Do any of your neighbours have cats that treat your garden as their own that can give you a bit of cat fix?

FenghuangHoyan · 12/02/2023 21:09

I'm allergic and we've got two. I still sometimes have problems with them if they are sleeping on my pillow or similar, but aside from that I'm okay these days.

IntentionalError · 12/02/2023 21:14

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

YouveCatToBeKittenMe · 12/02/2023 21:16

My dh is allergic to cats. We have 4
he was the one to initially agree to take on a cat from friends who were emigrating, however she was a feral cat and could not be handled at all so he never came into much contact with her.
I then took on two long haired cats who it seemed he was not as allergic to. So the next cat I got was a Persian.
he has built up tolerance to our own cats but still gets wheezy if he goes to other houses with cats. So long as he doesn’t handle them and then touch his face he is fine. He is more allergic to our short haired cats but they rarely affect him anymore. One of them sometimes sleeps on our bed and he doesn’t react. So maybe your husband would be similar after a while, but it’s a risk to take on a cat not knowing if he would ever not have an allergic response.

FenghuangHoyan · 12/02/2023 21:19

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Don't you think you're being unnecessarily nasty in your response?

IntentionalError · 12/02/2023 21:21

No, I think I’m trying to explain the reality of allergies as someone who has lots of them.

MrsMikeDrop · 12/02/2023 21:26

You don't get one?? It's hardly a life essential

bellswithwhistles · 12/02/2023 21:30

I'm allergic to cats and we have them!

I'm still allergic to other peoples cats but my own, barely. I"m personally of the viewpoint that if you have them from kittens, you develop immunity to them.

Clusterfunk · 12/02/2023 21:33

My friend is allergic and he spent time cat sitting a sphinx cat to see if it triggered his allergies. It didn’t, and he now has two. He adores them. Still can’t tolerate other cats.

Beamur · 12/02/2023 21:34

I am a bit reactive to other people's cats but ok with my own. Severe and prolonged allergic reaction is not sustainable though. Good luck.

HoppingPavlova · 12/02/2023 21:35

Under no circumstance get a cat in this situation. My DH is allergic and thankfully we spent time with friends with a ‘hyperallergenic cat’ meant for people with cat allergies. Yep, nope. Was just as bad for him as a regular cat. Even Sphinx’s were out, although I didn’t want one of those anyway as high maintenance.

Sometimes it just is what it is. Imagine someone forcing you to eat something you are allergic to everyday!

FusionChefGeoff · 12/02/2023 21:35

As DD7 said when I explained Daddy would likely end up in hospital if we got a (much wanted) cat "well you really should have thought about that before you married him"

KingofCats · 12/02/2023 21:37

My DP is allergic (asthma symptoms) to most cats and dogs but we have had a Maine coon and now two Siberians with whom he’s fine. The Siberians were expensive but breeder did an allergy testing beforehand.

Ponderingwindow · 12/02/2023 21:37

You can’t have a cat

ive never met one of these elusive people whose cat allergies improved with regular exposure. I have known multiple people whose cat allergies got worse and worse to the point it impacted their ability to even enter the home of a cat owner.

what about rabbits

HoppingPavlova · 12/02/2023 21:40

Also, are children on the cards? If so, given your DH is allergic, you may face this with a child and potentially their allergy may not be able to be controlled like DH’s if you find something he can live with. Now you are several years down the track and have a choice to make that’s going to be really unfair in the cat. You could say this could happen with any child but obviously if a parent had an allergy there is more likelihood and may be more or less severe. Why risk it?

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