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Join our community of cat lovers on the Mumsnet Cat forum for kitten advice and help with cat behaviour.

Original poster

How soon to get a new kitten after a loss

28 replies

Whyisitsososohard · 19/01/2023 13:30

We very sadly lost our much adored cat aged 14 in early November. I was devastated as she was our first cat and we got her as a kitten. We had another cat most of her life too who died a few years ago. I feel like I'm ready for a new kitten, well 2 actually. I've seen 2 at the shelter we got ours from.

But I'm now questioning myself and wondering if its too soon. How can I tell? Any advice? I feel like waiting isn't bringing my cat back. But I do feel a bit like I'm doing something wrong.

I'm probably being silly but I'd love to hear what others did.

OP posts:
getmeavodka · 19/01/2023 13:33

I waited a few months only after the death of my old girl. It have me a new focus and helped me with getting over my loss .

cutandpastetoday · 19/01/2023 13:34

I think the fact that you've been looking at the shelter says you are ready. If you weren't, the thought of even looking would probably make you feel sick. Sometimes we think that by getting another pet quite quickly, we're maybe 'dishonouring' the life of the pet who died.

I tend to think that if you're a cat/pet person and have lots of love to give, you're don't feel quite right until you've got another pet to look after. Everyone's different and if it feels right, go and give another cat the benefit of a loving home. 😊

Emmamoo89 · 19/01/2023 13:34

Sounds like you're ready x

MyBloodyMaryneedsmoreTabasco · 19/01/2023 13:35

After mine died I vowed I would never get another.
7 weeks later I got 2 kittens. My house was all wrong without a cat in it.

Marylou62 · 19/01/2023 14:08

Well...our old beloved ginger tom died on Sunday morning and another almost identical ginger tom came home to us on Tuesday...it was like everything pointed to him being ours...our neighbour just mentioned that she had a kitten ready to go.. I went just to see!...he ran straight to me and put his paw on my face..He was so alike George..she mentioned who was interested (another neighbor) and I just knew he'd be better with us... and he was.. Dylan died 4 weeks ago after 17 years..having a lovely, warm, fed, secure and loving home...looks like it's meant to be OP?

Toddlerteaplease · 19/01/2023 14:17

I was going to wait after my girl died. But her sister was lonely. The stars aligned and the exact right cat was in the rescue and came home 10 days after Maia died. She really helped heal both me and the other cat.

ReviewingTheSituation · 19/01/2023 14:18

Our lovely cat died in early November (a few years ago). Our current cat moved in (from a rescue) in early December.

We knew ours was on her way out for months, so did a lot of our grieving before she died. The house was so horrible without a cat that we caved in very quickly. The new one wasn't a replacement - she's very different in personality and behaviour - and it felt like we'd waited enough time.

TheTurn0fTheScrew · 19/01/2023 14:24

I only left a month or two after my cats died to move new ones in. While each individual cat was irreplaceable (one in particular was such a superstar we still share stories about her a lot), we like a home with a cat, and it was definitely helpful for me to have a new moggy move in.

Each time I did feel that I didn't want a similar cat to the one I had just lost though - that would feel strange. Out last cat that died was a silent, majestic, black pantheress. I now have a pair of noisy tabby twits.

Yarnosaura · 19/01/2023 14:26

I lasted no time at all for my last 2, less than a week, I hated not having a cat in the house and on both occasions the cats I brought home were completely perfect. It doesn't stop the grieving, but giving a home to cat in rescue when I had space helped.

Eastereggsboxedupready · 19/01/2023 14:27

You aren't awful for wanting to fill a dcat shaped hole with another dcat. Or 2!!

PotatoSmile · 19/01/2023 14:31

I'm another who got new cats quickly after previous ones died. First time it was my much beloved childhood cat and I thought I'd feel too devastated for months to even contemplate it. After a month I just couldn't cope with coming home to an empty house (pre kids) and quickly adopted again.

Our most recent cat died last year and we rescued a 6 month old kitten about a month later. My only slight regret was taking the single kitten because now I want Another Cat. But it's not really a regret because he is absolutely the perfect cat for our family.

Toddlerteaplease · 19/01/2023 15:28

My new cat had some of the same mannerisms as the one that died. Which was quite bitter sweet. I'm not at all 'woo' but like to think that Maia sent her. Completely different personalities though.

ImJustMadAboutSaffron · 19/01/2023 16:03

Toddlerteaplease · 19/01/2023 15:28

My new cat had some of the same mannerisms as the one that died. Which was quite bitter sweet. I'm not at all 'woo' but like to think that Maia sent her. Completely different personalities though.

Same here. My old one died on the Thursday lunchtime. That night I was online looking at kittens. The next day I had arranged a visit. The following week I went "just for a look" (with a cat carrier in the back of the car). She has been with us ever since! Best thing I did.

Allergictoironing · 19/01/2023 17:18

My boy is on his last legs, weeks if I'm lucky. I don't even know if his sister will be content as an only indoor cat, but I've already started to keep an eye out for another. It's sort of helping with the grieving I'm already doing.

Any new cat won't be a replacement for Boycat, he's a very special cat in many ways (including special needs) and I will always love him, but it's a big house for just one little girl plus I think I would feel bad about leaving her in all day alone when I go out to work.

ISTR Supersimkin brought Prionce home less than a week after she lost Cap'n V, and he came home pretty soon after Mr C dies. But my friend spent a year before getting 2 kittens to keep his remaining girl company after his boy died.

Original poster
Whyisitsososohard · 19/01/2023 18:25

Thanks for all the replies. I've had time to think and process what people are saying here. I don't think it too soon. Seems lots of people feel the need to have more cats in their lives quite quickly. As somone said I've hit a lot of cat love to give!

So sorry that people have experience of losing a much loved cat. This is the thing with having a cat baby, we do have different life spans.

OP posts:
Thecatisboss · 19/01/2023 18:37

Dcat died in May last year after 22 years. We were devastated by her death and really missed having a cat around. We then adopted an adult rescue in July as we missed a cat companion so much. Not a replacement but another personality to love.

Good luck with your decision x

Loobyloo68 · 19/01/2023 18:39

My old boy died and I was gutted. I was offered other kittens but refused. One night I sat in the conservatory at 2am in the morning having a brew (menopause insomnia) and saw a rat. I had my Doris a week later. She's 18 months now and doing a good job of keeping vermin away 😃

louderthan · 19/01/2023 20:17

I let my beloved baby go in October at the age of 20. I'm going to start looking at kittens in a month or so I think.
But I still miss her so much that sometimes I don't know how I'm supposed to bear it.
Having said that I don't think there is a right time. Also we are going to need more pics of these kittens!

MortimerTheCat · 19/01/2023 20:24

My cat died and I said couldn’t go through that again as he didn’t have a peaceful death. A week later I said the H “I want another cat”. We waited 6 weeks as we had some thing going on that wouldn’t have been practical to have a new cat in the house. Got our new beast and she fit in straight away. Not a replacement for the old one, but I love having a cat in the house and just their presence hanging around. Hated coming home to an empty house.

rafanadalsarms · 19/01/2023 20:32

I waited only 2 months after my best boy was pts suddenly aged 10 with cancer. I was devastated and my son still is.
My new kitten would never replace him, but he's lovely and I love him in a different way. He's definitely helped us all with the grief. He is such a maniac it kept us busy.

Penguinsista · 19/01/2023 20:33

I'd say it's time.

cushioncovers · 19/01/2023 20:42

We got our kittens after 4 months but had been looking after 3 months.

OnTheBoardwalk · 19/01/2023 20:55

I miss my cat but am going to wait at least 6 months. Mainly because I need some urgent house renovations that I’ve been putting off for years so as to not stress them out. I'm also going to have a 2 week holiday that I’ve had for years

get another one, well ok we both know it’s going to HAVE to be two, whenever you are ready

MissCalamity · 22/01/2023 13:24

We're going through the exact same dilemma, had to have our boy put to sleep at the start of this month. I've always had cats since I was 13, so it seems very strange to be a cat free household at the moment. The kids are desperate for another one (or two!)

I'm on a rescue cats website so am seeing all the lovely cats in foster and we have ear marked two, so keeping our fingers crossed for when they come up for adoption.
Good luck with what you decide. 😻

Yarrawonga · 22/01/2023 13:30

We lost our cat to a road accident well over a year ago. I would like another one but husband was so upset that he still won’t agree to getting another in case the same thing happens again

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