Trying to pysche myself up to get cat put down 😭

[rickandmorts]

I think it's time to get my very elderly cat put down but I just really don't want to do it. She has thyroid problems (which are medicated but she's still a bag of bones), she meows all the time, she's stopped being able to groom herself so her coat gets all matted and I have to try tease/ brush it out but as she's so skinny I think it hurts her. Her claws are really long but she gets really distressed when I try clip them and I just think her quality of life has declined and it's time. She doesn't eat much because I think her teeth must hurt, just mainly licks the gravy off her food and I got her some of the cat soup which she eats a tiny bit of. But she still purrs at me when I stroke her and I think if she's purring she must still be a bit happy?

I didn't want her last moments to be in a cat carrier stressed at the vets so I got a quote for a home visit but it's £250 (!!!) and I just can't afford that with a baby due in 3 weeks and going on SMP. Any words of wisdom? Is it truly awful getting a pet put down? I've never had to do it before and had sleepless nights and feel sick the last few nights at the thought of taking her down to the vets 😢 She's 18 and I keep hoping she'll go peacefully in her sleep 😪

I have had animals put down at home and at the surgery. At the surgery was actually better for me. I have found the vets to be very sensitive, they'll understand that it's difficult for you. You could phone up and speak to them about the process before you make the appointment.

A cat can purr to calm itself, it doesn't always mean it's happy. I understand why you'd like her just not to wake up one morning but natural deaths for animals are rarely as painless and stress free as being euthanized.

It's difficult for you, I know, it's one of the hardest things we have to do as pet owners, but it's kinder not to keep her alive any longer if you think her quality of life is poor. None of us want to do it but it's the last kindness we can give them and it's better for the animal doing it before you can't put it off any longer

Ah OP I feel your pain. It would be better taking her to the vets in all honesty, for reasons I won't go into as I'm a vet nurse.
You've given her a long and fantastic life, look on it as your last kindness you can give her when it's time for you to let her go. If you feel her quality of life has gone then its a tough decision to make, believe me I know.

Take her to the vets to see if there is anything they can do to improve her quality of life. My boy lived to 22 with thyroid problems.

I'm sorry about your cat, but you have got to pull it together and get this poor animal put to sleep as soon as possible. They are suffering. I know how hard it is, I've been through this many times, but it's our responsibility as pet owners to stop our lovely pets from suffering.

Let the vet be your guide on this one. Going to the vets with my cat was really sad and upsetting of course but they were so kind and compassionate. I know they treated him with utmost care. I'm very glad I took that route. He'd gone in with a suspected kidney problem, passing blood. Vet did x Ray and biposy, called me to say he had tumour that would rupture and be painful. I opted to let him go right there as he was already asleep. I didn't go to vets until collecting ashes as I just couldn't cope emotionally. You've done your best.

Poor cat. You need to put the needs of that very unwell animal before your own feelings and just do it. Sorry to be harsh, but it's true.

We lost old girl at 19.
she also had thyroid issues. Well controlled but then she suddenly deteriorated.
is thyroid well controlled? Had bloods done?
the meowing can be a sign of senility.
does she need a dental re eating.
also can you groom the cat daily? We had to do twice daily for old girl. She was also on pain meds for arthritis.
unfortunately purring isn’t always a sign a cat is happy.
I would book a check up and discuss with vets. It’s a hard call but if they can’t improve quality of life then you will have to consider PTS. Sorry. 💔

Thank you for people's kind replies and to answer a few questions:

-vets can't do a dental as she's too old for anaesthetic. They said to just give her little bits of what she fancies.
-she has regular blood tests and her thyroid is as controlled as it can be (according to vets). They said the meowing is probably down to that.

• I could brush her twice a day but she hates the brushing and I don't want to stress her out if she's frail and elderly.

Thing is I don't know if she is that unwell or if she's happy just pottering along, licking her gravy/ cat soup and sleeping. I keep asking the vets if it's time when she goes in for her bloods and they keep saying she's okay for now. So telling me to pull it together or that I need to get that 'very unwell animal put down' isn't helpful, it's not like I've left her. It's been a very gradual thing.

Taking the lead off a PP I might book her in for a consultation tomorrow morning, see what the vet says and if they agree she is suffering then get her put down then. I'm a great believer in the saying better a week too soon than a day too late but it's just SO hard to make that call when you've got the wee animal snoozing in front of you 😢

My friend works at the vets and I know she's in today so I've just messaged and asked if I can pop her down in the morning 😔

Cats purr to comfort themselves. A happy cat does more than just purr, happiness is a whole body expression. Don't think purring by itself means good enough quality of life.

My vet drive is a short drive so they don't get that stressed. Honestly by the time my cats needed to be PTS, they weren't even that bothered by the drive.

The only thing about PTS that I find tough is the lethal medication has to be administered twice. This is obviously to prevent any chance of suffering, but it feels kind of brutal & you have to wait & watch while it happens. The 2nd dose can't make them suffer, but it it is horrible to watch (we owners suffer), like having an encore in the PTS experience.

I would have thought you don't want to find her collapsed & in death throes. Plus then you'd have emergency PTS expenses, rather than an event you can plan for & that costs hugely less. Invasive efforts at her age would be unkind because she can't understand it's supposed to help her (& almost always a waste of money because of her overall body failure).

Thank you for explaining the process so I know what to expect as I've never had an animal put down before. And also makes me feel better in a weird way that they don't just purr when they are happy. I just think I'm struggling with it more because I'm hormonal and pregnant and feeling things a lot more than I usually would. No I don't want anything invasive at her age so if the vet suggests that tomorrow I will say no.

Nothing to add but my sympathies. My cat is 16 and just diagnosed with hyperthyroidism. I like to think I would PTS if she was suffering in any way, as horrible as it is to lose her.

I had my cat PTS in May. She was 22 and it still hurts like hell.

the thought of taking her to the vet was the worst but in the end my husband drove and I carried her, wrapped in a blanket.
the vet came to the car when they were ready for us (my husband went in to say we were there).
The vet was lovely and said my cat was ready to go. I held her and it took only a second. The worst part was putting her on the table and the vet did have to lift her from my arms because I lost it at that point. I didn’t try and be brave. She was my darling and there was no holding it together. I am actually crying now typing this.
the vet allowed me to pet her again and then gently covered her in the blanket.
my mum and step dad went in after we had left and took her to their garden to bury her as we were moving house a couple of months later. That helped a lot.
my mum also paid the bill so I didn’t have to ring up later.

the actual process was gently and quick. It was time and I am glad I was with her and she was being held as she went.
i now have two kittens who are little terrors and I love them to pieces but they will never replace my perfect cat.

My love and thoughts are with you.

You know her better than anyone so if you feel her quality of life is poor, it probably is time to let her go. You’re doing the right thing speaking to the vet.
It sounds like you love her a lot and she’s had a long and happy life with you - try to take comfort in that.

Thank you @PrancingPalomino, I read that last night and it gave me a lot of comfort. Same to @RedSquirrelRoar.

I took her down first thing this morning and had a vet consultation and we both agreed it was time. The whole thing was quick and painless, just broke my heart because she was meowing quite a bit bless her but once the meds were in she drifted off really quickly. I feel relieved she's not suffering anymore though and that I made the right decision, thanks again for your kind messages xx

Sorry for the loss of your lovely cat. I’m sure you did the right thing but be kind to yourself.

Well done, rickandmorts, it's never an easy thing to do

Oh OP I'm so sorry for your loss. Take care xx

Oh so sorry to hear this but it sounds like it was time and you made the right decision. Let her rest in peace now X
You clearly thought long and hard and that's indicative of the lovely owner you are.

Never easy (hugs)

It’s really hard, but you did what was best for her, and it’s sounds as though she had a lovely life.

Being a responsible pet owner sometimes involves making difficult heartbreaking decisions.

I had a cat put to sleep a few years ago. The vet asked me to stay with her while he put her to sleep. I was absolutely terrified! I thought it would be awful. I imagined her thrashing about in agony, soiling herself in distress. Honestly - it was incredibly peaceful and quick. I don't remember him doing the double injection but I suppose he must have. I held her in my arms, he injected her and she went limp. That was it. No struggle, no distress. I'm 100% certain she didn't suffer.
I would definitely get the vet's guidance on whether it's the right time. Obviously you don't want to leave it too late but I also wouldn't want to do it too early.
Good luck OP. I know how heartbreaking it is.

You did the right thing @rickandmorts
She died painlessly at a ripe old age, with her favourite person next to her, which is how most of us would like to go I think.

Thanks so much for your kind messages everyone. We buried her Monday night and I'm off to the garden centre tomorrow to get a nice plant or tree to mark where she is in the garden. Xx

You are a loving owner, sorry your cat has gone, a plant or tree sounds a wonderful way to remember them.

So sorry to hear your news. We’ve had two pts previously and it’s horrid but definitely the best for all involved when it gets to that stage. Sending lots of hugs 🤗