Trying to pysche myself up to get cat put down 😭

[rickandmorts]

I think it's time to get my very elderly cat put down but I just really don't want to do it. She has thyroid problems (which are medicated but she's still a bag of bones), she meows all the time, she's stopped being able to groom herself so her coat gets all matted and I have to try tease/ brush it out but as she's so skinny I think it hurts her. Her claws are really long but she gets really distressed when I try clip them and I just think her quality of life has declined and it's time. She doesn't eat much because I think her teeth must hurt, just mainly licks the gravy off her food and I got her some of the cat soup which she eats a tiny bit of. But she still purrs at me when I stroke her and I think if she's purring she must still be a bit happy?

I didn't want her last moments to be in a cat carrier stressed at the vets so I got a quote for a home visit but it's £250 (!!!) and I just can't afford that with a baby due in 3 weeks and going on SMP. Any words of wisdom? Is it truly awful getting a pet put down? I've never had to do it before and had sleepless nights and feel sick the last few nights at the thought of taking her down to the vets 😢 She's 18 and I keep hoping she'll go peacefully in her sleep 😪

PS) When our first cat died we bought an ornament of a crouching cat from a garden centre, when we moved house a while later we took it with us. Our second cat died six months after our move, he’s buried in the garden under the ornament and one of our, now four year established, rescue kitties often has a snooze next to it! Which is lovely, and sometimes makes me wonder if our rescue pair are the original two in a different form

No need for the first part of your post. Thoughtless.

I'm sorry if you thought I was thoughtless. The whole point of my post was to say it was NOT at all like that. It was very peaceful. I'm sure other people have similar fears to me so I was trying to reassure and say it's not how you imagine.

So sorry OP. You did the right thing. Take care.

@PrancingPalomino - I understand. I have a special darling too ( as well as two other cats who are lovely and funny, but he is different) and I just well up even thinking about it. I cried reading your post.You take care also.