Torn on whether to rehome my cat :(

[Iwantsunshine]

I have multiple cats, one has ongoing long term health issues for which he is currently receiving specialist treatment (all covered by our insurance). He is very young and we’ve had him from a kitten.

I have another cat, again had from a kitten, he’s sick nearly all the time - sometimes multiple times a day, he also seems stressed as bites his fur out and scratches our carpets to pieces, we’ve tried feliway and we’ve taken him to the vets on multiple occasions, they’ve never been able to diagnose anything.

we’ve most recently taken him a few weeks ago because we can’t keep cleaning up the sick (he seems fine, not distressed by it and carries on as normal after the episode of sick) and the vet is now saying it’s his teeth and it’s likely going to cost us over £1,000 to get them sorted as he will need 2 lots of treatment as they are so severe. We can’t claim for this on insurance, we’re also not convinced it’s his teeth - yes they are bad but the sickness I believe is related to something else - problem is unless we get the treatment for his teeth we won’t be covered for anything relating to his sickness if we claim again in the future as vet is putting it down as dental issues.

if I am honest, we have a young child too and just can not afford to pay for my cat to have the dental treatment and not to mention he’s not getting the love and attention he needs because we just don’t have time to fuss him all day (he’s a real lap cat). I thibk the fur pulling is to do with stress of a multi cat household and a young loud child at home too.

we have considered rehoming (through a charity) because with 2 sick cats (I actually have 3) and a baby it’s a lot on my mental health, we mentioned this to a family member who basically implied we are evil for considering rehoming him and that this is what we signed up for when we got a cat.

i just want what is best for him and due to our finances we are depriving him of treatment the vet feels he needs right now.

what would you do in my position? Any advice gratefully received.

Is it worth asking for 2nd opinion re his health? Is there such a thing as anti-sickness meds for cats?

I know vets like you to settle their bills in full, immediately, but maybe they'd consider a payment plan?

If it's the household that's causing him stress, then maybe it would be best to rehome him. How would you go about doing this? I wouldn't say it'd be easy to find him a good, new home.

Who do you think will take on a vomiting cat who pulls out his fur and needs dental treatment?

Agree the fur-pulling may be due to stress at home, but realistically, who will take him on?

Yes re-home. Do not get a replacement pet.

I agree with getting a second opinion. What exactly about his teeth could be causing sickness? What do you feed him?

My friends cat was sick a lot and scratched and bit at her fur as she was itchy. It turned out to be allergies to certain food and it did stop when they finally found food that suited.

I wouldn’t be rehoming him, that would be very stressful for him, I’d work out what’s wrong with him.

I’d also invest in a second opinion from a veterinary hospital or experienced vet.
I’m afraid I think your relative is right, you took him on you have the responsibility. Do you think there will be lots of homes wanting an adult cat who is frequently sick, has an expensive medical problem and scratches the carpet?

Thanks for the responses, he’s been to our current vet around 3 times for this issue, we did trial steroids due to his itchy skin but we didn’t see a difference.

We recently (about a month ago) switched to a hypoallergenic food as my other cat with health issues has been recommended this by a specialist vet and we did see some improvement in the cat that’s always sick, but he’s back to being sick a lot again…

For those saying who would rehome a sick cat, yes I understand that, we’ve tried our best to get to the bottom of why he’s sick and we’ve spent lots on extras to help (raised food bowls, different foods, furball paste, feliway for stress) vet visits etc. I guess if he went to an animal sanctuary their vets may be more keen to investigate the issue of why he’s sick and also if he really does need this expensive dental work I’m being told he needs, I guess they are in a position to do this.

I do feel he’s stressed out living in our household, we’ve held off doing anything about this for the last 2 years as of course we love him and he’s our family member but I can’t help feeling he isn’t happy living in this home. It will break mine and my partners heart to have to rehome, we are not the type of people to do this type of thing on a whim, I have another cat with health issues that mean I’m back and fourth doing 4 hour drives with him to a vet hospital every month - so please don’t think I’m someone who doesn’t care about my pets!

I will have to seek a second opinion from another vet I think because this is draining me mentally, we’ve only lived in our new hours a year and it’s wrecked :(

*house

I guess if he went to an animal sanctuary their vets may be more keen to investigate the issue of why he’s sick and also if he really does need this expensive dental work I’m being told he needs, I guess they are in a position to do this

Don't most animal sanctuaries rely on donations to fund them? How are they in a position to pay for expensive dental treatment?
I'm sorry but I think this is your responsibility, if you want to rehome him at least make sure he's as healthy as possible first.

In this scenario I would

Get a second opinion. Not sure where you are, but have a look at animal trust. They are not for profit vets and do free consolations and usually are cheaper than a normal vets for major surgery and things.

Is it possible to keep him in a separate room? To give him his own space and see if it is the other cats / child stressing him out. Youd need to obviously go in and spend some time with him so I don't know how feasible this is.

Have you found a rescue that would take him? I'll be honest I'm involved in Cat Rescue and at the moment everyone I know is full to bursting. At best he would go on a waiting list and we could be talking months to fit him in.

If he is stressy and a lap cat rescue is going to be a terrible environment for him to be honest and hes not likely to be rehomed quickly.

I can’t imagine who would be keen to take this on, here have a cat and their high vet bill.

What do you believe the cause of the sickness is? Why do you think the vet is wrong?

You need to get to the bottom of these medical issues before he'll be rehomable I'm afraid. Rescue centres are already overrun by healthy cats looking for homes, so who do you think is going to adopt yours? Don't mean to sound harsh but that's the sad reality. Blue Cross may be able to help perhaps if it's unaffordable?

I had a cat who was itchy/had skin issues. It turned out that he was allergic to the histamines in fish. Once we moved to a very simple non-fish diet with no filler ingredients, the itching and other issues stopped.

What does the vet actually recommend if it was his cat? That's the best way to get an honest answer.

Yes they do have vets that can investigate his health issues.

OP do what’s right for you and your family as well as your MH as a priority. You have too much going on.

I’d be seeking a 2nd opinion before thinking of rehoming as if it’s an issue that can be corrected, you might really regret giving him up.

If he really is sick and needs care that you can’t give him the kindest thing is to have him rehomed.

The Blue Cross I think do a thing where he isn’t rehomed until they’ve found a family, so he wouldn’t have to go to the shelter and wait there.

Might be worth putting him on the list and if his health issues can’t be resolved his new family would know and may have the time and resources to care for him properly.

The teeth could easily be causing the sickness. If cats can't or won't chew their food properly, they'll vomit it back up. My own cats do this if they've bolted their food without chewing, but a cat that's in pain won't be able to chew, hence why it happens all the time.

If his teeth are causing him pain, they need to come out. Cats can honestly manage with no teeth - soft food and soft biscuits are perfectly fine for them.

If it was my cat, I would do everything I possibly could for him before even considering re-homing. For me that's always the ultimate last resort.

So, does he go outside? Being an indoor cat can be very stressful for some cats, though it suits others fine.
Does he have lots of space away from the other cat and the child - lots of cat trees, wardrobes, baby gates in place so he can go and hide in peace? Have a look at catification - it doesn't have to be expensive but it can make all the difference to a cats' welfare. Jackson Galaxy has some great ideas.
Does he have toys and scratch posts and such? There are tons of toys out there he can play with alone so you don't need to spend ages playing with him.

You say you can see his teeth are bad. He’s going to be stressed if he’s in pain and uncomfortable with his teeth? Perhaps you can look at subsidised treatment with the PDSA?

@Chikapu yes I fully understand how rescues work thank you! I donated to a few local animal sanctuaries when we were better off financially and didn’t have our son and could afford to help out: we also used to regularly donate barely used cat beds and cat food that my fussy boys turned their noses up - so I’m fully aware they rely on charitable donations.

@Tillsforthrills thanks for showing some understanding, this is such a difficult thought to get my head around as it is.

it’s only a thought at the moment, I know how stretched the animal sanctuaries are and it’s not something 3 years ago I would have ever considered.

it’s really effecting my mental health, not to mention I feel awful as my son is a toddler and when we get home from a day out we are often met with piles of sick which I have to clean before he gets his hands on.

the situation does not seem fair for all of us.

Thanks all for your thoughts and feedback.

I am no way near even entertaining the idea of rehoming my boy, please know it wouldn’t be done on a whim, I’ve had 2 friends rehome their cats/dogs when their baby’s have been born and I’ve always wondered how they could do that.

ive got a really sick cat too who requires a lot of care and attention and the whole scenario at home is affecting my mental health.

I thibk I’m more upset and feel defeated as our vet (who has been brilliant with my other poorly cat) refuses to run tests and is stating it’s his teeth and basically we need to get them cleaned - he’s already said it’s likely to need 2 sittings at around £1000 per visit as is a full days work that requires anaesthesia.

i ask anyone who’s criticised me in their previous posts whether when you got your pets, you kept aside thousands of pounds for these scenarios?
We pay for Petplan insurance for our cats but because my vet is suggesting it’s dental - he’s advised if I don’t get his teeth treated, I won’t be able to claim anything for the sickness until we’ve explored the option of teeth.

so anyway to conclude, I won’t be running straight off to a rescue sanctuary, If anyone is concerned.

looks like I’ll be getting a second opinion and will need to borrow money to fund his treatment, me and my partner can not work overtime to save for treatment and we have a son to think about too, when we both work we have to pay nursery fees.

If his teeth are bad then they need seeing to regardless of whether it's what is making him sick or not. If you're not going to do it then you need to take him to a rescue that will do it, anything else is just cruel.

A quick google confirms that:
A cat with a painful mouth may be reluctant to eat until they are absolutely hungry, then vomit up the food.

Have your cat tested for calicivirus - I think it’s just a simple swab test. Can cause major gum/teeth issues. If he tests positive, then I think the dental work would be covered under insurance.

Exactly why I thought about rehoming him, because we don’t have. £2,000 (that’s the minimum given by the vet) doesn’t cover follow ups or complications.

but as you can tell by the replies I’m being flamed for considering putting him up for adoption - can’t win whatever I decide to do it seems, I inow it’s cruel leaving him which is why I’m in the predicament I’m in.

@hellsbells99 I’m not so sure, I may suggest this to my vet.

my really poorly cat has had every single test under the sun, I think he’s been tested for calici as the specialist he sees was concerned we have a multi cat household so was worried my other 2 may have it.

not sure if this rules out calici because my other one doesn’t have it though.. so will discuss this possibility with the vet.

to be clear to everyone on this post - I have questioned my vets assumption is just his teeth on 2 occasions and the vet has said he can’t seem to find anything else causing it - he’s explained that before he undertakes a dental my cat would have to have blood work anyway so this would rule out anything that’s obvious with bloods I guess.

. The minimum that you need to do is sort his health problems so that he has a chance of adoption and is not suffering with his teeth and constant vomiting. Sorry that’s harsh but you want people to say it’s ok but it’s not really