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Join our community of cat lovers on the Mumsnet Cat forum for kitten advice and help with cat behaviour.

Original poster

How do you accept they've just disappeared?

34 replies

ArtieTheFatCat · 26/03/2022 06:51

It's only been a few days, but my gorgeous, big fluffy soppy cat has gone missing. He's a complete wuss and normally only ventures into the garden for half an hour before spending the rest of the day curled up, preferably on someone's lap, inside.

We've searched for hours, posted all over social media, dropped hundreds of leaflets through doors, put up posters. I just can't shake the feeling we're not going to see him again.

I can't stop crying and haven't slept a wink for 3 nights, he would always be there waiting for belly rubs in the morning, dashed to greet you when you returned home, it's just not the same without him.

My Dcs are devastated and I'm really trying to put on a brave face so as not to upset them more, but I'm finding it really hard! Please tell me it gets easier. I've had many cats before who have died from illness, or sadly been run over, but never one that's just disappeared. I think it's the not knowing that's so hard. I'm never getting a pet again, this is far too stressful!

OP posts:
SilverGlassHare · 26/03/2022 06:53

It’s 21 months since my fluffy black girl went missing. I only cancelled her insurance in January. I still hope she’ll appear again eventually. It’s heartbreaking.

Original poster
ArtieTheFatCat · 26/03/2022 06:56

Here he is in all his fluffiness

How do you accept they've just disappeared?
OP posts:
Original poster
ArtieTheFatCat · 26/03/2022 06:57

@SilverGlassHare

It’s 21 months since my fluffy black girl went missing. I only cancelled her insurance in January. I still hope she’ll appear again eventually. It’s heartbreaking.
So sorry to hear that, they really do become part of the family don't they x
OP posts:
Ludo19 · 26/03/2022 07:09

Have you phoned all the local vets? Phoned the council, if he's been hit by a car, he may have been found. I assume he's microchipped?

OP I'm so sorry it's much better to know than never find out. He is very beautiful, I think it's most likely someone may have him in their home.

Mumdiva99 · 26/03/2022 07:12

Have you been out late a night to call him? Sometimes it's easier to hear the miows.

Also look under all the bushes as they can get caught up in places you wouldn't expect.

Hold hope that you will find your gorgeous cat.

Original poster
ArtieTheFatCat · 26/03/2022 07:14

@Ludo19

Have you phoned all the local vets? Phoned the council, if he's been hit by a car, he may have been found. I assume he's microchipped?

OP I'm so sorry it's much better to know than never find out. He is very beautiful, I think it's most likely someone may have him in their home.

Thank you, I have phoned vets but not the council, I will do that today. Yes, he's microchipped. I'm off out for another search now, I'm going to known as the local weirdo who roams the streets shouting.
OP posts:
SamMil · 26/03/2022 07:20

Don't give up! My boy went missing last year. He was gone for 2 and a half weeks & we'd pretty much lost all hope and then he appeared back one night, skinny but otherwise fine. I really hope it's the same for you. xx

MacraMee · 26/03/2022 07:20

He's beautiful OP. Don't give up hope. I recently found a clearly lost cat on my doorstep and reunited it with its owners within the hour thanks to Facebook. It had been missing 3 weeks from half a mile away.
My own cat went missing a few months ago and was discovered in a neighbours garage 24 hours later, they do often get locked in places especially with people starting to garden at this time of year. It was a neighbour helping me look for her that heard her miaow through the door so do go around your neighbourhood having a listen.
Hopefully your cat is chipped so if they are found you can be contacted. Fingers crossed he comes home 🤞

SamMil · 26/03/2022 07:22

Also print off some posters and hand them to all your neighbours if you haven't already. It will be a physical reminder for them to keep an eye out and also keeps your number to hand. We had neighbours messaging us just to check if we'd found him, so it was reassuring to know they were looking too.

SparePantsAndLego · 26/03/2022 07:24

My girl went missing for 6.5 weeks. It was awful. She was found a fair way away. Someone had taken her in and when they took her to the vet they saw a poster I’d sent to the surgery.
Don’t give up hope. Also, do search Pippa’s Army on Facebook. They have lots advice about finding lost animals. There may even be a similar group near you.
I hope your beautiful cat comes home soon.

mrsjackrussell · 26/03/2022 07:26

Don't lose hope. If you haven't already there are lots of missing cats groups on Facebook so post on there. Their advice to me was to put something with your smell on in your garden. Ask neighbours to check sheds and garages. Put posters up. Good luck.

Original poster
ArtieTheFatCat · 26/03/2022 07:59

Thanks for all the kind words.

We have put over 300 flyers through doors and many posters on lampposts.

A few of the people I stopped to ask as I searched said they had already seen one of my various facebook posts, so thankfully word does seem to be getting around. I will ask local shops if I can put a poster up today.

OP posts:
TheDoveFromAboveCooCoo · 26/03/2022 08:13

Oh he is beautiful.

Hold on to some hope though, it's still really early days.

Post on lost and found Facebook groups, local groups, call round vets and rescues. Also put his bed and litter tray outside as cats can smell their own scent from up to a mile away.

Our lovely Ellie cat went missing 3 and a half years ago. We searched for days but she never turned up. I was heartbroken. It's somehow worse than finding them on the road or put to sleep as there is never any closure.

I like to think she had moved in with a lonely old lady and just forgotten about us rather than the alternative.

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 26/03/2022 08:17

When ours went missing we did daily walks around the neighbourhood for about 2 weeks. We did the posters, facebook groups, NextDoor app etc. We got loads of helpful texts and calls from people and went out to check each time - nothing.

By the end of 2 weeks we just had to hope she had found a new owner and didn't want to come back.

In the end we got a call from a Vet after about a month. Some lovely person had seen her (a few streets away) being bullied by other cats and phoned a cat charity who came and collected her and took her to the vet. We were so so shocked and delighted to have her home! Never thought it would happen.

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 26/03/2022 08:18

A friend of mine found her cat 2 years after he went missing! She was driving around somewhere and there he was. Came running as soon as she called and she put him in the car and took him home.

GeneLovesJezebel · 26/03/2022 08:21

One of mine went missing over 20 years ago now. Just went out and never returned. We live in the country so he wasn’t run over.

Original poster
ArtieTheFatCat · 26/03/2022 11:51

Sorry to hear those of you whose cats never did turn up, it is the not knowing that's so hard. Lovely to hear some of you were reunited, gives me a glimmer of hope.
I'm trying to stay stoic today for the sake of my Dcs, they are all looking heart broken, they would take it in turns to snuggle him at bedtime, he really is the softest cat you could meet. Unfortunately this also means if someone decided to take him, he wouldn't be hard to lure away!

OP posts:
SanFranBear · 26/03/2022 16:21

My beloved boy went missing last January and I still follow up any possibly sightings and have his poster in my window (it also took me about 8 months to cancel his insurance!). When they just disappear, I don't know if you ever really get over it as there is still hope - it's tiny, but it's there. I still expect him to turn up but I will admit, when I came down the morning after he failed to come home - and he always came home - I just knew Sad I miss him every day still and my DS even had a little cry about him yesterday.

I truly hope he turns up for you - there are so many success stories! He is beautiful as well - such a floofy boy!

Floralnomad · 26/03/2022 16:30

You can put cats on Doglost which may get you a bit more publicity , hope you find him , he looks gorgeous .

DisneyDisneyDisney · 26/03/2022 16:35

Our cat of 5 years went missing and turned up again after 4and a half years. No idea where he’d been. He’s chipped but obviously wasn’t taken to the vets. He’s been back now about a year and a half.

Want2beme · 26/03/2022 16:58

So sorry hear about your lovely cat.

Maybe try some of the lost & found sites. You never knowFlowers

www.petsreunited.com/

www.nationalpetregister.org/

OkPedro · 26/03/2022 22:24

Oh what a beautiful boy, what is his name?

I have an almost 2 year old boy and he is my world. I hate letting him outside as so many cats just disappear or are hit by cars where we live (busy main road) but he loves being outside! He cries to go out.

Apparently if a cat who isn't used to being outdoors for long periods gets a fright they won't respond to their name which is why it's important to check under sheds bushes or anything they can hide under really!

I hope he comes home soon 😿

darumafan · 27/03/2022 09:50

This is my wandering boy, he came home last night after being gone for a week. I think that he might have been locked in a shed or garage somewhere.
In the past, he has been missing for 6 weeks, 18 months and the last time was 2 years.
He's a wanderer and we know where he usually goes but it's very hard to track him down so we rely on the people who work at the scrap yard to let us know that they have seen him.
I'm hoping that as he gets older, he will become more of a homebody. He and his brother were born to a feral mum and didn't have any human contact until they were about 5 or 6 weeks old so I think it's just in his nature to be a free spirit. His brother on the other hand never leaves the garden!
Don't give up hope yet, make sure that all the local vets know he is missing and report it to the microchip company.

How do you accept they've just disappeared?
How do you accept they've just disappeared?
Original poster
ArtieTheFatCat · 27/03/2022 17:26

Thanks for the kind words everyone.

OP posts:
tiredvommachineasaurus · 27/03/2022 17:33

Was a year in January that my lovely Boo disappeared, I think about him every day and still hope one day he'll return. Feel for you OP and I hope your Dcat turns up soon x