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The litter tray

Join our community of cat lovers on the Mumsnet Cat forum for kitten advice and help with cat behaviour.

Help me Tame a Tigress

46 replies

tocas · 06/10/2021 15:08

Elderly neighbour has gone into hospital, I have agreed to look after their cat. Problem is cat is totally terrified, I don't know how long I'll need to care for her and I am worried she will become more withdrawn and anxious if I don't make the effort to befriend her properly.
Cat is female, less than 10 years old. Has been with current owner since she was a kitten and she has never been outdoors. She has apparently always been very timid, but worse since one of the couple passed recently, as they were her favourite apparently!
She hides and seems very scared whenever I go in. I've been going in two or three times a day, I always look for her but sometimes she hides herself so well I can't find her in the house. On the occasions I do find her I spend a few minutes talking to her and trying to get closer, if she hisses or growls I leave her alone. On two occasions she has purred and come to me to let me stroke her. I always leave some dreamies for her and once a day I leave a pouch of wet food out, when I go back she has always eaten it all. She has access to dried food all day too and obviously I change her water daily / clean out litter tray.

I see her sitting looking out the window when nobody is there, but as soon as she hears the key in the lock she runs and hides.

How can I help her become less anxious and more comfortable with me? Clearly she is traumatised by recent events and I just want to do the best for her. I'm a cat novice so any tips gratefully received! Thank you

OP posts:
VirgilStarkwell · 06/10/2021 15:26

Getting her to pose for a picture to post on here will definitely help.

lljkk · 06/10/2021 15:37

yup, agreed, we need a pic to genuinely assess.

Honestly OP I don't think any of that is terrible. Just keep sweet talking her & doing what you can. How long ago did you take her care on?

Stickytreacle · 06/10/2021 15:46

Go in, put out food and take a good book and ignore her! With timid cats sometimes the harder you try to befriend them the warier they become. A good cat toy can help, once they see you aren't a threat curiosity gets the better of them!

tocas · 06/10/2021 15:54

Thanks for the responses guys!
I have come to sit in the house and do a bit of work so she gets used to my presence. Photo to follow when she comes out of her hiding spot under the wardrobe

OP posts:
tocas · 06/10/2021 15:54

@lljkk

yup, agreed, we need a pic to genuinely assess.

Honestly OP I don't think any of that is terrible. Just keep sweet talking her & doing what you can. How long ago did you take her care on?

Only a few days ago so I know it is early days
OP posts:
GingerFigs · 06/10/2021 15:55

First off, that's very kind of you to look after her.
Patience is key. And in the time frame of looking after her she might not come round especially as it sounds like she hasn't been socialised much (indoor cat, elderly couple, more timid since her favourite human passed away).

Be quiet, don't stomp around, flapping plastic bags or such like - sure you don't do this anyways! - but of the timid cats I've had they hated loud noises and anything they perceived as threatening. Never 'chase' her for attention - if you try to follow her to stroke she may see that as threatening and use attack as a form of defence, hence the hissing and growling.

Nice and quiet, gentle voice, chat to her, feed her, give treats like Dreamies, some cats like ham. If you have time then as PP said get a book and ignore her or get a cat toy on a string as cats find moving play things hard to resist!

Hopefully she'll come round and soon be looking for strokes and rewarding you with head bumps and purrs.

GingerFigs · 06/10/2021 15:56

And definitely a pic Smile

PlinkPlankPlunk · 06/10/2021 16:02

I think you’re right to spend some time sitting quietly there, and hopefully she will just get used to you. She must be really lonely, poor thing.

It’s a nice favour you’re doing for your sick neighbour!

Fluffycloudland77 · 06/10/2021 16:48

You’re doing fine. We had our boy 10 years and he used to pretend he didn’t know dh if he was outside. That’s cats for you.

Pudmyboy · 06/10/2021 17:57

If you are willing to spend a few quid you could try a laser light for the cat to play with (chase) so you don't get too close but can interact and build trust. Otherwise don't spend anything on toys, my boy hated the stick with feather/ball with bell in it, loves to chase balls made of scrunched up bus tickets and a piece of regular, ordinary cotton string with a knot tied into the end for him to pounce on. Also, Flowers for looking after your neighbours cat.

KittenKong · 06/10/2021 17:59

Catnip! I’ve seen plug ins for jittery cats - maybe someone has used one and can advise?

Otherwise it will take time and patience and you need to let the cat come to you.

KittenKong · 06/10/2021 18:00

A really ignore her - cats are weird and like to be in control. She’s just lonely and scared.

tocas · 06/10/2021 19:26

@KittenKong

A really ignore her - cats are weird and like to be in control. She’s just lonely and scared.
Thanks so much everyone for all your advice. She remained under the wardrobe today each time I went in but I have been in 3 times and will go again tomorrow, patience is key here i think like you all say!
OP posts:
KittenKong · 06/10/2021 19:32

Let her get used to you. Once she realises that you are the provider of food...

icedcoffees · 06/10/2021 21:44

I look after a cat who spends every single visit buried, shaking under the duvet - some cats are just very very nervous and don't like strangers.

Her sister on the other hand loves a fuss, comes for a cuddle and will eat treats from my hand and has done since the first visit Grin

Don't pressure her. Go in, feed, sort the litter trays and go - some cats find strangers in their homes very upsetting so just let her be.

One of my cats will hide on the fridge if anyone he doesn't know visits. One is slightly more curious and will come in the room but bolt if approached. The third is all over new people and demands fuss and cuddles within seconds!

tocas · 11/10/2021 22:27

Some progress has been made and no hiding today, she first came and let me fuss her before hissing at me. Still obviously very scared but she does know I'm the bringer of food now!

Help me Tame a Tigress
Help me Tame a Tigress
OP posts:
YeOldeTrout · 11/10/2021 22:33

Good progress!!

tocas · 11/10/2021 22:33

Ps I know she is on the larger side but I thought I'd build up the relationship before delivering the news that she has to enrol in fat camp...

OP posts:
Bopahula · 11/10/2021 22:37

Oh she's lovely. So glad she's ventured out to see you.

And maybe fat camp can wait a little while. :)

eurochick · 11/10/2021 22:40

I was going to say that food is definitely the way to that cat's heart😄

Fluffycloudland77 · 12/10/2021 07:28

Is the owner coming back?

tocas · 12/10/2021 18:06

@Fluffycloudland77

Is the owner coming back?
Possibly but also looking likely that they will need residential care and may not be able to take the Tigress
OP posts:
tocas · 12/10/2021 19:10

Major progress this evening as she came out and ate her dinner with me in the room! Spooked at the slightest noise bless her.

OP posts:
Fluffycloudland77 · 12/10/2021 19:15

She’s getting used to you now.

VirgilStarkwell · 13/10/2021 01:21

Sweety! 😻