Can’t take tomorrow off sadly. I’m NHS staff with a manager that made me use annual leave for my grandads funeral. Calling in sick with a pet death would not go down well.
I’m just in shock. She was literally playing one minute, absolutely fine. Then she collapsed and starting screaming. Literally screaming in agony, a sound I’ve never heard before and will haunt me forever.
Rushed her to the vets and by the time we got there she couldn’t move, her back legs had no pulse and her temperature was dropping. We weren’t allowed in with her so sat in the car sobbing not knowing if she was alive or in pain. It was horrific.
They phoned to say she had a heart scan and it confirmed a massive aortic embolism. Her entire aorta had collapsed and she was in heart failure. There was nothing we could do. She was in excruciating pain due to the pressure in her aorta and the blocked blood supply to her rear legs meant the tissue was slowly dying.
They allowed us in to say goodbye. She was terrified. Screaming in pain until the drugs finally kicked in. It broke my heart.
She was only 4 years old. Fit and healthy. Never had a problem. It’s apparently really rare and just one of those things but I swear I’ll be haunted by her screams and the look of help me in her eyes.
I can’t stop myself crying. I don’t know how I’ll cope trying to be professional in work. I normally check my kitty cam a few times a day and now I won’t see her little face looking at me when I call her through it. She won’t be there waiting at the window when I get home.
It feels so silly to be so torn up over “just a cat” when people go through way worse every day but she was my companion, helped me through so much, the constant comfort to me no matter what. She was my spoilt baby and followed my every move. Every time I look down at my feet to check I’m not about to stand on her I fall apart again.