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The litter tray

Join our community of cat lovers on the Mumsnet Cat forum for kitten advice and help with cat behaviour.

Original poster

Guests asking if they can bring dog… AIBU?

40 replies

Dinkydonk55 · 04/09/2021 10:49

This is a cat related AIBU really….

We have kitten 4 months old, doesn’t go outside but full of beans and roams freely round the house now. House is quite big.

Friends from some distance away are due to visit in a couple of weeks date has been arranged for ages. I vaguely knew the had new puppy but he hadn’t been mentioned so sort of forgot, he’s 8 months old.
They’ve just messaged and asked if he can come too but not to worry if not can find a sitter.

I said maybe not due to kitten (also DH is really really uncomfortable around dogs which I thought they knew but maybe they don’t), but I didn’t say that

They’ve now said they can’t find a sitter, I’m not sure what to say, can’t quite see how it would work with the kitten? I don’t want to have to shut her up all weekend and our house and garden is not dog proof. There is an end of the house dog could be shut in but that wouldn’t be nice for him would it?
And then wouldn’t it also massively affect what we can do at the weekend.
Not had a dog since I was young so not sure how it would all work, even if there wasn’t the DH problem

OP posts:
Original poster
Dinkydonk55 · 04/09/2021 10:52

I kind of thought kitten would be a good enough reason, but is it?

OP posts:
NotMaryWhitehouse · 04/09/2021 10:58

@Dinkydonk55

I kind of thought kitten would be a good enough reason, but is it?
God yes!
notthemum · 04/09/2021 10:58

Be honest. Say " No, sorry. No where to keep kitten, DP does not like dogs and house not dog proof ".
Surely your friends knew when the visit was ? So they have left trying to get a dog sitter until the last minute expecting you to agree. CFs really.

HeronLanyon · 04/09/2021 11:00

Of course the kitten is a good enough reason ! Just rearrange to a date that suits you and for which they can get a dog sitter ? Even without a kitten I wouldn’t want friends to bring a puppy - the noise the smell the mess ! (Whilst still adorable)

Noshowlomo · 04/09/2021 11:02

Of course it is! Would your cat feel scared? Massively put out? We have cats and wouldn’t let people bring dogs here. Cats are territorial and mine spray if a random cat gets in through the flap so if a dog come in they’d end up spraying where the dog left a smell. I won’t be cleaning that for anyone…

TinkerPony · 04/09/2021 11:02

Why can't they check for kennels local availabe even anywhere on their way to your place if no dogsitter ( professional/family or friend that could house and dog at same time).
You do need to make them aware that your husband have a fear of dogs.
They must respect your wishes.

HeronLanyon · 04/09/2021 11:03

Also read more carefully and your DH is a good enough reason too surely ?!

TinkerPony · 04/09/2021 11:04

And the kitten's safety is a perfectly valid reason too.

Noreturnto · 04/09/2021 11:06

You seem more worry about the cat than your DH! actually you don't need any reason if you don't want the dog in your house.

milian · 04/09/2021 11:07

I’d be worried for the kittens safety to be honest, it’s definitely a good enough reason. Do you know what kind of dog? A terrier or sighthound would be a definite no from me.

DancesWithTortoises · 04/09/2021 11:07

Just say it's a shame and you hope to rearrange when they can get a sitter.

Reallyreallyborednow · 04/09/2021 11:09

Cats are territorial and mine spray if a random cat gets in through the flap so if a dog come in they’d end up spraying where the dog left a smell

Mine spray with cats but don’t have the same issue with dogs. They don’t battle with dogs for territory in the same way, much as they don’t spray if a new human comes in. In fact I always found dogs great company for my cat, someone to play with and cuddle with without the territory issues.

Fwiw o/p you are entirely within your rights not to ask them to bring the dog. However as I said my cats, when introduced as kittens have always got on with dogs brilliantly. It will be the dog who is confined to a room or whatever, up to the cat if they want to investigate or not.

romdowa · 04/09/2021 11:10

Kitten is way too young , as is the puppy. I'd be worried that either one would get hurt. If you don't introduce animals to each other the right way then it can be a disaster and animals need time to adjust. You'll just have to be firm and so no sorry that doesn't work for us.

TinkerPony · 04/09/2021 11:10

Sorry typing mistake I meant they could have find someone that could housesit and their dog at same time even there are people that take in pets to look after in their own home too for a fee of course.
They should have done their research better regarding care of dog when they want to go away.
By any chance is there a dog friendly hotel near your home like Travelodge but problem the dog will have to come with them during the day unless ye are planning to sightsee outdoor activities during their visit to you.

LivingLaVidaBabyShower · 04/09/2021 11:10

No sitter. No visit.
Said as a dog owner.

"Oh no! Such a shame! Let's rearrange for a weekend when you can get a sitter. Let us know some alternate dates. Really looking forward to a catch up xx"

gamerchick · 04/09/2021 11:11

Just say that. 'i don't really know what to say, I can't have a dog staying here'. Then they know where they stand. It's then up to them to make arrangements or cancel.

Soubriquet · 04/09/2021 11:11

Good enough reason is “no,
I don’t want your dog here”

Everything else is a bonus. Stand girl

Soubriquet · 04/09/2021 11:11

Firm *

Spidey66 · 04/09/2021 11:13

I’m a dog owner.

If I was visiting someone that needed an overnight stay and I wanted to bring the dog with me tbh I’d book into a hotel. Travelodge allow dogs for instance. I’d only stay in your house if you insisted.

If that wasn’t practical eg your kids were so scared of dogs I couldn’t see you I’d leave the dog with someone.

No way would I expect you to put us up with a dog.

TinkerPony · 04/09/2021 11:13

"Today 11:07DancesWithTortoises
Just say it's a shame and you hope to rearrange when they can get a sitter."
Agree to this 100% succiently to the point.

Noshowlomo · 04/09/2021 11:13

What @LivingLaVidaBabyShower said is perfect x

SherryPalmer · 04/09/2021 11:14

“No, sorry, we really can’t have a dog here. Do you want to rearrange for another time when you can get a sitter?”

Don’t give reasons

Original poster
Dinkydonk55 · 04/09/2021 11:15

Ok thanks 👍
Glad I’m not being unreasonable even without the DH factor.
I didn’t reply to the message so they sent another one offering to rearrange.
I suspect maybe they forgot the date was the in the diary or forgot about the dog issue as it is a bit last minute to ask.
I have also said about the DH thing.

OP posts:
SpacePotato · 04/09/2021 11:15

Nope. This is what kennels are for.
No way I'd have someone's dog in my house and it's bloody cheeky of them to even ask.

Noshowlomo · 04/09/2021 11:17

Looks like they get it then, if they’re happy to rearrange.