Deaf with a dodgy leg here and trying to move house, this is the week Capn launches this season's autumn entertainment - the tripping game.
I can't move around the flat. Both big toes foully bitten in the night. I've had a civilised conversation, faked a growl, growled for real, mewed in pain and pulled out the big guns - the Finger of Warning.
He's just come up to beg for a midnight snack. Ten minutes after the most recent full meal.
I'm going to have to shut him up cos he'll kill both of us. He bolts if I try and pick him up to move between rooms. Any thoughts?