DH doesn’t like the cat

[Sleepdeprived42long]

I’ve posted before about our 9 month old ragdoll biting but this has continued despite our best efforts and he’s now doing it unprovoked at least once a day. He’s 90% loving, cuddly but the other 10% is very difficult to live with. We’ve tried everything to get him to stop-outdoor time, more playtime, spray bottle, hissing/blowing on his face, castration etc The biting has been bad for the last 3/4 months and doesn’t seem to be improving:(( DH is now saying he doesn’t like him, doesn’t trust him around our children and is getting really anxious around him. DH’s anxiety over the situation is starting to have a massive impact on our home life. I’m honestly not sure what to do! I love our cat but I don’t want DH to feel anxious in his own home.

Have you tried any calming treatments?

I've used several felliway defusers over the years when introducing cats and have always found them really effective for stopping aggression. I can tell when it's run out because my cats stop being quite so ridiculously cuddly with me. I'm using the optimum one at the moment and my new kitten went from cowering under the bed to purring in my lap in about 8 hours.

Royal Canin do a calming food that has good reviews on ZooPlus. I don't have any experience with them but I've seen Zylkene capsules recommended on here a few times too.

Yeah we’ve tried the Felliway diffusers but making no difference :( I’ve not tried the capsules or food so will definitely need to give that a go! Thanks so much for the reply and suggestions. Im genuinely desperate as feels like it will be DH or the cat that need rehomed if things don’t improve :(((

There are herbal powders or tablets you can use to try and calm them down - they might be worth a go?

What food is he on? Some foods can make them really hyper as they're full of sugars and additives - have you tried switching brands?

He’s a teenager, the teen months can be hard for any animal including humans.

He has no idea biting is bad though because he’d bite his littermates & they'd bite him back so it’s all normal to them. We’re bald all over though so it hurts us. If he was trying to hurt you his teeth would go through your skin like a hot knife through butter.

Have you got a catnip spray to spray on a medium sized kickeroo toy? You can keep one out to distract him when you see him about to bite.

Zylkene is very good though but 9 month is peak biting time.

You will see a difference after age 1. They settle after then. Not completely but it'll be a marked difference.

Yes, he's just being a kitten!

I think you all need to learn to live with him, to be honest.

You need to set a time frame that if the situation isn’t improved in three months, then you will agree to rehome. As much as the cat deserves time and space to mature and hopefully grow out of biting, your DH derived to have a home environment that doesn’t make him constantly anxious.

Does he bite everyone as my mum had a rag doll who used to randomly bite her completely unprovoked but he never did it to anybody else .

You can often predict when a cat is about to bite. The pupils dilate massively so the eyes go black, and they may crouch and flatten their ears in “attack mode” too.
When you see this warning sign, say “No!”firmly, and either distract or remove the cat from your presence.
Some cats are more prone to this than others. DD’s feral rescue cat took years to train out of it.
My own rescue cat only bit me twice. Both times I cuffed her head lightly, like a mother cat with an unruly kitten, made dominant eye contact (staring directly into her eyes) and said “No! Bad cat!” very loudly.

There has been no repeat for five years now. She is a feisty hunter and mouser, but very well behaved and affectionate with me.

@Babdoc our Ragdoll literally gave no warning he would calmly walk across a room , sink his teeth in mums leg and then walk away .

I'm quite surprised at people saying this level of biting is normal.

I've had five young cats over the years and I have never been bitten to a point where I was injured or scared. My female bit me once when I accidentally nudged her surgery scar - but it wasn't aggressive or painful - just her way of saying "ouch, you hurt me".

That's the only bite I can remember that wasn't a play nip.

I really don't think this behaviour is normal. Cats who bite/attack out of the blue generally do so because there's something wrong, imo.

Thanks everyone. We’ve done verbal warning. That seems to just wind him up more and he attacks again! @Floralnomad it’s everyone he goes for. You can’t predict it. One minute he’s fine, next minute he’s launching himself at you. @Fluffycloudland77 toys don’t seem to distract him but maybe some catnip spray will refresh his interest in them a bit. Your description of the biting being like red hot poker is fairly accurate by the way-it’s sore when he clamps his jaws around us. He’s broken the skin quite a few times :( I really hope he grows out of it. We’ve agreed to give it till Xmas at least.

Honestly I couldn't live like that.

You would get very wary, wouldn't you? You certainly wouldn't be looking for cuddles.

I have quite a bit of sympathy for your DH and I'd agree that it doesn't sound like the cat would discriminate between you two and the children.

@icedcoffees thanks-I don’t think it’s a normal level of biting either. I’ve had cats before (including one which was feral as a kitten) and none have been like this. You say you think he might being doing it because something is wrong-like what? He doesn’t seem to be in pain at all?

@ElspethFlashman yes it is getting difficult to live with :( :( :( I love the wee furball but I’m struggling with the impact of the biting on our home life.

[quote Sleepdeprived42long]@icedcoffees thanks-I don’t think it’s a normal level of biting either. I’ve had cats before (including one which was feral as a kitten) and none have been like this. You say you think he might being doing it because something is wrong-like what? He doesn’t seem to be in pain at all?[/quote]
Not necessarily pain - he could be unhappy as a "lone" kitten (many rescues and breeders advise rehoming in pairs so they have another cat to play with), he could need more outdoor time, he could need more (or less) socialisation and simulation.

IME when animals are over-stimulated they get frenzied and can't switch off - a bit like toddlers lol. So while extra play is good, he may be finding it overwhelming too.

Have you tried maybe doing some brain games with him? Feeding him from a slow feeder or hunting for treats are both easy options, or this link has a few other options.

cattime.com/lifestyle/18575-brain-games-cats

Does he have a cat-tree to play on and explore? And plenty of places to climb up high?

@icedcoffees just saw you’d asked what food he was on. He’s on Amazon dry grain free food but gets cooked meats 2/3 times a day as a treat. I was thinking about moving him over to wet food to see if he finds that more satisfying but not sure if that would help. Only pattern we’ve noticed with the biting is that he does it when he wants something (food mainly but also attention or to go out) and that it happens mainly at peak ‘hunting times’-ie first thing in morning and last thing at night.

I’ve had fosters bite me, usually small, unhappy females. You would know if he meant it, they draw blood with very little effort. We had a 9 month old boy cat who bit during play, giving him a big catnip toy that he could grab and bite and kick pretty much solved it. You could see by the look on his face that he was building up to a berserker episode so he got his toy given to him and he gave it a good beating. He was bored and wanted to play and let off his teenage energy. In the end he escaped and it turned out that he just loved being outside, more than any cat I’ve known, climbing trees, chasing insects, rummaging in bushes, so we let him out (completely against fostering rules but it was in the first lockdown so there was no prospect of getting adopted and seeing him looking miserably through the cat flap was heartbreaking). He just ran and ran outside like a lunatic and tired himself out.

@icedcoffees yes has a cat tree. He’s not interested in cat treats at all which makes the ‘brain’ games tricky cause he’s just not interested in getting the treats out! I did say to DH a friend for him might help but understandably DH is saying no to that given the issues we’ve had with just one. We’re about to cat proof our back garden so he can get more outside time to burn off some energy. Hopefully that will help too!

The outside space should help - especially if he has a cat-flap so he can come and go as he pleases!

Is he not interested in dreamies? Are you sure he's a cat?

We also use plain chicken and TINY little bits of cheese for treats which could be an idea.

Honestly if he's not allowed out with a cat flap then he will have a lot of pent up energy.

An amount that no cat trees or whatever can make up for.

He has natural instincts to stalk and hunt and isn't getting as much time to do this as he'd like. Plus being an only cat means he can't play with a litter mate either.

It's the equivalent of keeping a toddler or teenager in on lockdown with no other children (and no TV or iPad) which obviously would be horrendous for all involved.

Let him have a cat flap...let him go outside when he wants to. You'll see a different cat.

I have a pedigree very similar to a rag doll and she's always been allowed outside. It's cruel IMO to keep cats from expressing their natural tendencies unless there's a medical reason.

As it happens my friend has a Siamese that she doesn't let out very often and he is often swinging off her blinds and biting for attention.

He's utterly bored - in this situation if you put yourself in the cats shoes you realise you'd be playing up too.

@Sleepdeprived42long
When you say everything, have you tried a professional behaviourist?

Some of your approaches will worsen anxiety and are not recommended (water sprays, blowing etc) and rather than trying a random pic n mix approach that is likely to fail you'd be better with professional advice that addressed the cause of the problem.

He sounds bored and frustrated. Getting out should help.
Toys?
Neutered?

My last cat Buns would bite and when she did it was serious, she had been abused before she came here. I have 39 scars on my arm from her (still loved her dearly but she had acute anxiety).
Smoky however was a play biter, he never ever broke the skin even though he would press quite hard. I would rough house him and he would bite and kick, we both enjoyed it.
if the cat is not biting hard enough to break the skin then it's just play. A lot of cats love it.