DH doesn’t like the cat

[Sleepdeprived42long]

I’ve posted before about our 9 month old ragdoll biting but this has continued despite our best efforts and he’s now doing it unprovoked at least once a day. He’s 90% loving, cuddly but the other 10% is very difficult to live with. We’ve tried everything to get him to stop-outdoor time, more playtime, spray bottle, hissing/blowing on his face, castration etc The biting has been bad for the last 3/4 months and doesn’t seem to be improving:(( DH is now saying he doesn’t like him, doesn’t trust him around our children and is getting really anxious around him. DH’s anxiety over the situation is starting to have a massive impact on our home life. I’m honestly not sure what to do! I love our cat but I don’t want DH to feel anxious in his own home.

@Veterinari the cat doesn’t seem anxious, it’s the humans that are! I’m reluctant to go down the road of cat behaviourist. I’m not sure what they would suggest that we haven’t already tried. @Wolfiefan he’s been neutered, toys don’t seem to keep him interested. I’m hoping when we can cat proof our garden better (we live near a busy road) he can get out more than he does just now and that should help :)

@Shehasadiamondinthesky unfortunately he is biting hard enough to break the skin :(

Toys won’t interest him unless you play with them. Feather on a stick. Laser pointer.

Medicate him play with him and sort out the outside space ASAP

Some cats can get quite overstimulated with toys in my experience.

It can make the behaviour better in some cats but it's not a magic cure-all. Some cats need a calmer environment and calmer interaction as opposed to hyped up play.

Hi, ex-cat breeder here. If your cat (kitten really) is lovely 90% of the time, then it's most likely play-fighting. It probably means he wasn't quite socialised enough at the pre-3 months stage, when all kittens are bitey-fighty and need to be taught by the breeder to not play this way with humans. It can be quite hard to alter some of these behaviours if that early window of opportunity is missed.

Of course, cats play-bite with their siblings all the time, so solution might be to get him a companion of a similar age?

If that's not possible, I would stop with the 'retaliation' water spray etc, because that could make it a much more threatening situation for him, which he'll respond to with aggression. Maybe just say 'no' angrily and distance yourself immediately?

We find largish stuffed toys useful for our current siamese kitten, similar age. We grab one and push it into her tummy when she gets a certain look in her eyes, and she kicks and bites the hell out of it. Access to outdoors is very useful too. Even a small run will do - just the sensations of sun, rain and wind make it interesting to them, and they will get to hunt and catch moths, spiders etc.

Also, if it's not actually getting worse, then maybe just give it a little more time? All cats calm down a lot after about 12 - 18 months especially when they are neutered.

I have a Ragdoll and they really benefit from a pal, they love company - you should never leave them on their own for more than a short period of time as they get lonely. I would get a companion for him, it could be another cat or even a dog. He sounds bored and lonely to me.

While it's true that kittens do benefit from a playmate, the ideal way to do that is to get two from the beginning. Introducing an unrelated cat into the house could go well, or it could be a disaster. There are numerous threads on here about people who've introduced new cats to the home and have, sadly, had it go horribly wrong.

Now - I do have multiple (unrelated) cats but I didn't get the 2nd or 3rd to cure the behavioural issues of the first. None of my cats have bitten me to the point where they break the skin, nor have they ever displayed any behavioural issues.

Whereas this cat is already struggling - they don't need the potential stress of an interloper. It could go well, but equally you could end up with two stressed, unhappy cats who fight.

@icedcoffees thanks for your perspective. I think I’d struggle to convince DH to get another one anyway given how he feels about current one.

@Chisandbiscuits both DH and I work from home so he does get lots of company when he wants it. He loves company and will follow us from room to room.

[quote Sleepdeprived42long]@icedcoffees thanks for your perspective. I think I’d struggle to convince DH to get another one anyway given how he feels about current one.[/quote]
I totally get his point lol.

Personally I have zero issue with getting multiple unrelated cats and I've seen it work well in many homes, but I do think the cats have to be of a certain personality type - if you have multiple 'feisty' cats or a cat who's feisty vs a really shy cat, you can end up with issues.

All mine are very laid back (to the point of being horizontal)

[quote Sleepdeprived42long]@Chisandbiscuits both DH and I work from home so he does get lots of company when he wants it. He loves company and will follow us from room to room.[/quote]
I mean animal company as opposed to just human company, they really do seem to get a lot from other animals. I have a British Blue as well as my Ragdoll and my Ragdoll adores him and spends a lot of time with him, they play together a lot even though he is ten and she is six so they’re not kittens. When he had to go into cat hospital for an operation she cried for him for days even though she’s really attached to us. He probably needs someone to play and work off his energy with and human beings don’t seem to cut the mustard in this area!

Agree, **icedcoffee, it is a risk, but maybe worth it for a very social breed. I wouldn't keep a siamese singly, for instance. Most cats will tolerate a new kitten quite well, although we did find male kittens were not well-accepted by our resident 'alpha' (but neutered!) male. Female kittens were no problem.

But the OP would have to make a judgement call on this, depends just how fierce her cat is getting!

I also from my experience think that it’s a lone cat issue. We now have two kittens who are about to turn one and they haven’t bitten me at all but they play fight a lot. My previous cat bit alot as a kitten, better by the time she was 18 months but really didn’t stop biting me on occasion until she was 4 or 5 years old….

@PhiRhoSigma

Agree, **icedcoffee, it is a risk, but maybe worth it for a very social breed. I wouldn't keep a siamese singly, for instance. Most cats will tolerate a new kitten quite well, although we did find male kittens were not well-accepted by our resident 'alpha' (but neutered!) male. Female kittens were no problem.

But the OP would have to make a judgement call on this, depends just how fierce her cat is getting!

I wouldn't keep one singly either, but I would avoid that by getting two from the beginning. I would not attempt to introduce a second cat to an angsty teenage solo resident cat

We have two males and a female. Our girl is five and we've had her since she was a kitten. When she was two we rescued a big male who is now six, and last year we introduced a male kitten into the family.

We've never had an issue but none have displayed aggression, behavioural issues or biting. If they had, the last thing I would do would be to add a strange cat into the mix. Cat fights are horrific and can cause lasting damage.

@icedcoffees

While it's true that kittens do benefit from a playmate, the ideal way to do that is to get two from the beginning. Introducing an unrelated cat into the house could go well, or it could be a disaster. There are numerous threads on here about people who've introduced new cats to the home and have, sadly, had it go horribly wrong.

Now - I do have multiple (unrelated) cats but I didn't get the 2nd or 3rd to cure the behavioural issues of the first. None of my cats have bitten me to the point where they break the skin, nor have they ever displayed any behavioural issues.

Whereas this cat is already struggling - they don't need the potential stress of an interloper. It could go well, but equally you could end up with two stressed, unhappy cats who fight.

I’ve introduced multiple cats to each other over the years and it’s never a problem if done properly, it’s just that a lot of people can’t be bothered to wait and do it properly.

This cat doesn’t sound stressed to me, he sounds bored and frustrated. Whatever he is he could be re-homed if his behaviour doesn’t improve and that would be a lot more stressful for him IMO.

I’ve introduced multiple cats to each other over the years and it’s never a problem if done properly, it’s just that a lot of people can’t be bothered to wait and do it properly.

I've done it as well, and like you, it's never gone wrong, but I wouldn't risk it with a cat who is showing random biting behaviour like this one is.

We've never done the elongated, slow introductions favoured by MN though, we just chucked them in together lol.

Oops, pressed post too soon.

This cat doesn’t sound stressed to me, he sounds bored and frustrated. Whatever he is he could be re-homed if his behaviour doesn’t improve and that would be a lot more stressful for him IMO.

I agree he could be bored/frustrated, but that won't necessarily be cured by an additional cat - it could make it worse. If he randomly bit/attacked the new cat, they could have a nasty fight on their hands.

Is it random biting behaviour, though? It's normal for kittens/teenage cats to suddenly rush across the room and ambush their companion cat, if they have one, and engage in really rough-looking play fighting, biting included.

I am watching this happen as I write.

@PhiRhoSigma

Is it random biting behaviour, though? It's normal for kittens/teenage cats to suddenly rush across the room and ambush their companion cat, if they have one, and engage in really rough-looking play fighting, biting included.

I am watching this happen as I write.

I would agree it's normal for other cats to play fight and bite, but I don't think it's normal for them to attack and bite humans (breaking the skin) out of the blue like this.

And I've had solo teenage cats and kittens before. None of them have ever behaved that way.

I realise I started this thread back in August and I thought time would help calm down our biting cat but he’s still randomly attacking us for no reason. My DH has said he’s now nervous in his own home because of this and it’s really causing problems. I’m at a loss re what to do. Our cat can now get out which has helped in the sense that we can spend time apart from him. If me and my kids weren’t so attached to the cat, I would be seriously considering rehoming. Although I think I’d struggle to rehome him as he attacks anyone who comes into the house too :( I’m starting to think this is just his personality as I don’t know what else to try!

What’s happening right before he gets bitey?

@Fluffycloudland77 usually it’s 1) rubbing himself against our legs a couple of times then biting our legs 2) walking up to us when sitting and biting legs 3) when he’s sitting on my lap after 5 mins he will bite my arm/hand 4) if we’re walking through the house or garden, he’ll chase after us and bite 5) if I’m on my laptop, he’ll jump up next to me and bite my arm. It’s not just a nibble either, it’s full on jaw clamp! The only other thing I’ve noticed is that his pupils go really big before he does it.

the pupils thing can be excited or hunting behaviour. Have you watched any Jackson galaxy YouTube videos on bitey cats? You can’t be the only ones with this problem.

Usually they’ve grown out of it by now.

I posted on this thread before but have name-changed since! I was icedcoffees

The dilated pupils mean he's in hunting mode - does he have lots of cat toys to hunt - fishing rod type things, or laser pointers, or those toy "mice" that zoom around on a track?