My cat prefers someone else's home 💔

[SunshineCake]

After he was missing for a couple of days we got him back and he had been visiting them for over two weeks . They thought they better feed him which is why he didn't come home. We kept him in for two days and nights and as soon as he'd had breakfast he was off to theirs . He's still there. Hasn't been home for tea. They think he is lovely. Don't want to keep him. What do we do? Dh says we can't keep going to get him but tbh I will tomorrow if he isn't home. He was crying to go out and it was upsetting. He's never done this before, he has come home late for food but never stayed away for four meals. Their food is nicer than ours but he's been ours for eight years plus .

Could you ask the other family to not feed him or let him in? I’d be heartbroken so I really feel for you.

We've said not to feed him or let him in. They were going to try ignoring him. Apparently he has his face up against their window looking all sad eyes .

Get the nicer food.

And the neighbours have to ignore the sad eyes - he isn't their cat, they don't want to keep him so WTF do they think they are doing?

I think you'll need to keep him in for longer when you get him back so he gets used to your house being his home again.

I'm going tomorrow to get the same food they gave him but with two other cats he can't have it all the time ! It was just so awful listening to him cry and tbh seeing how he'd been in the day here, when he couldn't get out, we thought he was settled back in. This morning I saw him wandering off so I asked him where he was going and to go back home and he ran through next door as if to go home. Minutes later he set off again once I couldn't see him .

You definitely need to get the nicer food for the foreseeable, even if it costs more. I agree with the pp who said not to let him out, even if he cries.

When we've bought nicer food he's refused it but we've not offered this one. I'll go and get him if he's not home by the time I'm back with dd.

It could be because you have a multi cat household and they don't? Or do they if they have this nicer food?

I've had 8 cats, all very well cared for, but there was one who did not want to live here.
He was fine when I was home (I work full time) very cute and loving, but the minute I went to work he went looking for company - he could not cope with being on his own during the day. Eventually I allowed a neighbour to adopt him, I was very upset.
Never happened with any of the others.
This is cats, they choose where they want to be, often with more than one person.

If they dont want him, then they need to stop feeding him. Its not fair when people do this. They want the pleasure of a cat with none of the vets bills or responsibility

They must stop feeding him. Explain to them that if he needs vet care he has to be living with you. Don't buy the sad face argument. My cat has been elsewhere twice and I only got him back because he was chipped. He now has a collar with his name, my number and a do not feed message. I also kept him indoors for a week. If they stop feeding him then he won't stay there. Cruel to be kind

Microchip feeder works wonders in our multi-cat household.

Or just feed him away from the others - it sounds like he is enjoying having a nice peaceful time away from your other cats.

If there has also been some cat bullying going on I'd stick a load of Feliway on as well.

They have two cats and nothing has changed recently with him. In terms of other animals or kids etc. He won't wear a collar. We gave up after six. He is chipped and they were going to take him to the veg the next day. I've read about cats doing this but never expected him too. He's scared of everything and we've had him for years. He's a rescue. I love him. I can't lose him. 💔

I’d catproof the garden. You can diy it easily.

Even if we did fill the gap in under the gate he'd just jump the fence. I'm going to get him today and we'll keep him in. I can't just let him go.

Tell them he has a special diet and mustn't be fed !

Build a catio to keep all the cats in your own garden. Or cat proof the fences.

What do you feed him? Cats really are that fickle.

Do you have other pets?

Cats can be such selfish little sods! A dog wouldn't do this. If your dh was going to another house for tea because a woman cooked better food than you, you'd tell him to pack his bags! Do the other family want to keep your cat?

We had this problem. My 14 year old cat has always gone to others no matter where we lived, but always come home on a night. About 2 years ago, his collar changed, but our tag changed with it (bizarre?) I put a paper note on it saying he was a sod, had a home where he was loved by two children, please don't feed him etc. We saw him less and less.

Up until last week, I then didn't see him for 18 months. I put out fliers, Facebook appeals etc. His tag had our number on it and he's chipped. In the end I figured something had happened to him.

Last Wednesday I saw him sitting on the doorstep of 4 doors down. New collar again, no tag. I left a note, it's been ignored. He wouldn't come with me

My cat used to live with the family opposite. When I moved here my neighbour said she was a community cat, visited lots of other houses and got treats in them all so to just watch out if I didn’t want her coming into mine. But I was happy for her to visit. Gradually she stayed longer and longer. In her original home she was one of 3 cats, 2 dogs, 2 toddlers, rarely got to sit on anyone’s lap and wasn’t allowed on beds. In my house she was the only animal, no kids and got all the cuddles she wanted.

She still continued to visit other homes but as she’s aged, does this less and less.

Sorry OP, cats are tricky buggers

I think sometimes we have to be selfless and let cats have the home they choose.

He's fed the only food he will eat as we've tried others. No new pets in three years. No reason that we can work out that he would leave. It's been made worse that after a couple of weeks of visiting them they decided to feed him so now..

They don't want him even though they think he is lovely and he is ours. I'm not giving him up.

So sorry about your cat @MimsyBorogroves . When he saw me in their garden he did have the decency to look sheepish.

No way @RandomMess. He's ours. He's been happy here. We aren't giving him up and they don't want him anyway!

Perhaps he is just playing the field and will get bored of visiting especially if they stop feeding him.

It sounds like they will work with you.

It may be a summer thing as the weather is nice, doors & windows open etc.

I do know of people having to rehome similar aged house cats because they suddenly were not happy and refused to tolerate the other cats they had lived with for years.

At least he looked sheepish!

I have picked him up. He's sleeping on a carrier bag by the front door. He's had food, a new one I've not seen before, and we are all going out for a couple of hours so he can have the run of the house and settle in. We'll be keeping him in as long as we can. The man of the house loves him .