Rescue cat coming tomorrow

[Cleanmean]

After many many tries we have finally secured a lovely rescue. We've never had a cat so don't know what to expect and I'll be honest (I'm embarrassed to say) I'm scared of cats. Dh and dd are obsessed with cats and so we've got a rescue. He seeks a lovely gentle chap. Can anyone advise in what we need other than the basics:

Litter tray
Felix pouches
Dry food
Cat carrier
Cat toys
Cat bed

He's neutered but I'm booking him inn for vaccinations with the vet tomorrow.

My questions are, do we need to feed him the same food he ate at the rescue? Do we leave dry food and water out all day? What do we do if he scratches or hisses? How go we gain his trust? How do we know if he's happy or anxious? Are cats ok with anyone stroking them?

Finally, the thing I'm most worried about is the litter, the poos the smell. We've been told to keep him in 4 weeks, then he should be allowed out and should toilet outside. At that point do we get rid of the litter tray?

Any advice at all for us would be appreciated. Want to make his welcome as calm and happy as possible without passing my anxieties on to him. Also need to think of a name.

The licking could just be stress. I know its easy to say but he will pick up on your stress so try and be calm, leave him alone and just give him as much time as he needs. He's trying to work out the house dynamics, the noises, smells etc, it will just take time. Don't fuss him or try and stroke him, he will come to you when he's ready, it could be days or weeks.
You're doing a great job and clearly care a lot about him, Im sure you will get there.

They do lick their nether regions a lot. I like to think if I could, I wouldn’t.

Haha! I have an update... He's tentatively come back into the lounge and is sprawled in the middle of floor. He keeps a close on the two dc he's bonded with and follows them around. We've given him more space and although he still gets startled by sounds he has had a nap in the middle of the floor so I feel a bit better. Thanks everyone!

Shocked by how much I'm invested in his happiness already!

Thanks for the update OP. 🙂

You've had him since Monday and only now are you realising how much you are invested in his happiness???

When I got my cat it was only a matter of hours.

It all sounds perfectly normal. Just chill out and take things at his pace. Can you imagine if a stranger took you into their home to live? The best thing g you can do is leave him to get used to things in his own time. If you are anxious, he will wonder why you’re so anxious and he’ll be anxious too.

Such a cutie.
How is he doing? Mine was a jumpy scaredy-cat. She had been mistreated. She happily sits on my knee & sleeps on me at night although, 2 years with us, she still jumps at sudden movements, I know she’s happy though as she comes running to see me whenever I arrive home. I hope your boy will soon be happily settled.wait until he sits on your knee, you will feel like the chosen one!

He had a couple of sad days but he seems a bit calmer now. He seems very intelligent, being very vocal when he's done a poo so dh can go clean it, miawing for treats and looking upstairs to see who is up there. He walks towards me whenever he sees me but I'm still scared and always back away. I give him about 5 small dreamies once a day and he loves those.

He has been lying in the middle of the lounge and is still a bit jumpy but seems happy when the dc are around. He's fussy about being stroked so they've cut back on it now. He's still squinting at me and I'm squinting back and trying not to panic when he comes towards me! I think I need a cat therapist who can get me past my fear. It's absolutely ludicrous but it's not going away.

I suspect the best cat therapist you can get will be your own cat!

You will be able to understand him and learn his moods. You'll recognise when he's had enough and when to back off.

You might be able to hold conversations with him!

I have a jumpy scaredy cat too. She's a rescue, found under a hedge about a week old and hand reared. She hates full body strokes and will swipe you if you attempt it. However she loves ear scratches and soft chin tickles.

They are just like little people, they all have their quirks and things they like and dislike. It's just a case of getting to know them and finding out what they like the most.

Glad to hear he is settling down now :)

What dry food are you feeding him?

@Cleanmean To help you get over your fear of him, there's a couple of things you can try.

• Play with him at a distance with a wand toy or even a long piece of string with a cork or toy mouse tied on the end. This allows you to keep your distance and interact with the cat at the same time.

• If you want to get him away from you, keep a small toy in your pocket such a ball or crumpled foil or toy mouse and throw it for him if he gets too close. This can be handy to distract him if you need to get past him or to get from one room to another.

• Learn to understand his body language. If his tail is straight up with a question mark shape at the tip, it means he's friendly and interested in talking to you. Tail wagging in cats usually means they are not happy or have had enough.

• Cats learn a lot by smell. If you can do it, crouch down and stay still, hold out your closed hand and let him come close and sniff you. Get your DH to help you, either by holding your other hand or talking you through it. Stay calm and make slow movements throughout. The cat is not going to do anything bad to you, he also wants to understand you better. When the cat sniffs you he may roll over in front of you ( that means he trusts you) or rub his head against your hand ( he's putting his scent on you, you're his friend). He may also walk off.

• Touching him - most cats like being stroked on the head, anything further down the body is down to the cat. Some like their ears scritched, some like heavy strokes along their back and tail. Usual no go areas are tummy and paws. If he shows you his tummy he trusts you but won't necessarily want to be touched there.

You will learn from him just as he will learn from you. He seems prepared to trust you and your family give yourself time to get to know him.

The dry food he's having is iams. He's still not eating much, I wonder if it's because he doesn't like the whiskas pouches. I've ordered some Felix as good as it looks from Amazon but am trying to finish the 80 whiskas pouches first!

@TheLongRider wow that's great advice! He jumped up and scratched dd yesterday so she's a bit wary of him now. I've given her a wand to play with him. I'm going to try the suggestions and will report back.

The thing is, he must know we're not used to cats because when other people visit who are used to cats he allows them to stroke him and is very calm with them. Then with us he's a bit scarier, occasionally hitting and scratching. He's been looking at the cat flap for ages, when can we trial him going out?

Has he got a safe space to hide in when he's had enough of people? It can be anything from a cat nest, paper bag, cardboard box or behind the sofa. We have a rule that if the cat is asleep or tucked up in his spot he can't be touched or disturbed unless he interacts with you first.

This allows the cat some downtime from life and means he can observe you from a safe place.

I'd keep him in for a couple of weeks until he's learned his name or comes running when you rattle his food bowl or treat packet.

The hitting and scratching can be because he's overwhelmed with attention. Usually cats give a warning with their body language or they might mew beforehand but you might only have a second or two to react.

He shouldn’t be going outside for 3-4 weeks. He needs to learn that this is his new home. When he is more familiar with his territory (your house) he will return to it.

Food wise, my babies are greedy buggers. It is the first time I haven’t been able to leave food out all day for grazing as they will eat it all in the morning and yowl for more in the afternoon/evening. I’ve started measuring a day’s worth of dry food in the morning and putting a little in the bowl 3-4 times a day. They also get a measured amount of wet food once a day (they can hear their food being opened anywhere in th who use and come flying - literally - down the stairs).

It actually sounds like he is really well socialised already. My two were from a shelter and spent one week in one room (cats are territorial and can be overwhelmed by too much space at once). It took four weeks for them to access the whole house. To be fair, after being let out of the one room they had been in for a week, they then spent another week hiding under the sofa. But they got used to us and now sleep on the bed with us. Also, we are now about 4 months in, and one is fine with visitors and the either is still really skittish so it sounds like your cat is settling in really well.

Cat scratches are par for the course with cat ownership. Sometimes they are intentional and sometimes accidental. You will learn the signs of an impending intentional attack and be quick to forgive the unintentional ones.

You say he is better with visitors and occasionally hitting/scratching you and your family. I wonder if that is less about blisters versus family and more about age and activities. Visitors tend to be quieter and more respectful of an animal’s space than resident children who, understandable, want to hug and play with the cat. The cat may bite or scratch when it is excited and playful and still learning boundaries or it may do so when it is overwhelmed or scared. Children are both more playful and more scary to a cat than adults.

Also, cats tend to know when someone doesn’t like them or is allergic to them…and they usually make a beeline to that person to annoy them! Ignoring a cat is a great way to make friends with it. If you aren’t too interested, you are not perceived as a threat.

Great advice thank you.

He's very vocal and knows how to manipulate the dc into giving him extra food and treats. He'll take them into the kitchen and stand by his bowl. I've told them to stop doing this as he's getting fed too many times in the day.

He's been walking in the hall today looking at doors to other rooms and he sat on the bottom step. He seeks much less jumpy today and a lot more curious.

Thanks to the all the kind advice here I've managed to stay still on the spot when he's walked towards me today. Normally I walk away quickly.

So many typos in my post! I’m sorry, I hope you can figure out my meaning. There are too many too correct! 🤦‍♀️

What a lovely person you are!

I’ve always had cats, our boy now has recently been diagnosed with heart disease. Very sad.

Enjoy your new family addition x

Just a quick update, we are completely in love with our boy. He's less scratchy now and so loving. It's heartbreak to see him jumpy as we think he may have been treated badly in the past. He gets scared very easily and although he goes out sometimes he's very scared and only ventures out if one of us goes with him. Maybe he associates it with being homeless. Some days he's fine, others days he's on edge. Lots of head bumps and purrs now.

Our neighbours cat keeps coming into our garden and always scratches our boy. He has scratches on his nose and i hate it. The other cat has even ventured into our home to scratch our cat and I don't know what to do.

Get a,water pistol and squirt the neighbour's cat every time it comes into your garden. It will learn not to. Also get a microchip cat flap so that it can't get into your house.

@Cleanmean That's a lovely update. How are you coping with him? I hope you're able to relax around him now. If he's giving head bumps he feels secure around you and is marking you with his scent.

That's lovely OP. Well done you for trying to overcome your fear.