Why is my cat untrainable?

[Daisypaisy]

She is a nightmare! So cat is approx 10 months old, DD got her when cat was about 5/6 months as a therapy cat. Cat goes between here and DD’s fathers, so we have shared care of both!

This means that cat is a house cat as not sure she would cope with being allowed out at both houses, not get lost etc.

She’s a bit naughty, but she has learnt to use her scratch post/the door mat rather than the furniture.
She is very vocal! And will have a run around the back room and kitchen during the day, I work from home so had company. DD spends time with her on an evening. Cat is not allowed upstairs so doesn’t have free rein, similar set up at DD’s fathers house.

Issue is that she just refuses to be trained not to go on the kitchen worktops/mantelpiece/bookcase top. I’ve tried click training, water spray, firm no, tap on the nose. Nothing works. It’s driving me a little bit mad. She had down time, naps on the sofa in the day, comes with is in the lounge in the evening when we are in there.
So not lonely/bored/hungry/starved of affection.

I know she’s a cat and free willed, she and DD are made for each other! Any ideas welcome, thank you!

And what therapy does she offer exactly?
Don’t get me wrong, I know how helpful animals can be for MH or other issues but you seem focussed 100% on what you want from the cat, not what you are offering her.
She needs 1 home not two half homes

Aversion training methods are horrible and all you're doing is training her not to do it when you're there. All cats walk on surfaces when you're not in the room, whatever you thought your mum did to train them not to.

Don't wash her paws

Poor cat I really hope this is a joke.

She's a cat
You can't train cats
Cats like to go outdoors and will act out if bored and under stimulated
Cats like their own territory and should not be moving from house to house
Cats should not be bathed

I would say you have a very stressed and unsettled cat on your hands.

Why would I allow her upstairs in the bedrooms? Sorry but she doesn’t have free rein in the house. She goes in all the rooms downstairs.

And actually if you don't let her upstairs, outside or on surfaces, perhaps you should get a cuddly toy instead.

Poor cat! Stop trying to train it and just let it stay at her Dad's or at yours full time.

You can't expect a cat to live in two places and never go outside - it's almost cruel.
And stop washing it, cats are self cleaning.

@Daisypaisy

Why would I allow her upstairs in the bedrooms? Sorry but she doesn’t have free rein in the house. She goes in all the rooms downstairs.

So you've got a cat whose entire world is what - 3 rooms? Then you move her every 7 days to a whole new house? You're absolutely clueless and should not have a cat.

@Daisypaisy

She’s not howling, when I said she is vocal I mean makes playful noises.

She spends a week at either house. Yes, in a perfect world she would be with me full time. She could go outside, have company as plan is that I will remain working from home much of the time.

I’ve heard of people using the water spray as a training method?

Don't use water sprays - you'll just create anxiety and risk a whole host of secondary problems.

Instead think about WHY she's motivated to jump up there.

1. She's learned that delicious food lives on kitchen counters. In which case you have inadvertently reinforced her jumping up there by leaving food out for her to scavenge. You need to change your food storage/work surface tidiness. Alternatively she's learned this association at your ex's house and he needs to change his behaviour. But don't punish the cat for your/your ExDH's leaving food out.

1. She likes sitting up high to look at stuff (lots of cats feel more secure higher up) and there are no other options. In which case you need to build some cat shelving/perches for her.

Rather than just expecting a cat to live by arbitrary Human rules (she has no concept of what a work surface is) you need to think about how your lifestyle is influencing her behaviour

Dcats sleep under the duvet with my dd's!!

To be honest, and I mean this kindly, I don't think you understand cats very well.
Cats are more attached to places than people and moving between homes will be stressful. They wash their own feet. They are naturally highly curious and intelligent animals..

We had two cats as children and they never went on the worktops.

They did. You just didn't catch them.

Cruel to keep a cat inside unless you are going to spend a lot of time on enrichment activities with it, and unless you have adapted your house for the cat (lots of cat trees / cat shelves etc). And you can't train a cat, they are too smart for that.

Cats will adapt to two houses and going out both places so I would try that. All my cats for the last 20 years have come with me to visit my parents regularly and gone outside there.

I feel so sorry for this cat.

It's transported between two homes all the time, is made to wash it's paws, gets tapped on the nose and sprayed with water, and isn't even allowed free-reign in the house it lives in.

Seriously, this set-up is really not good for a cat and you're treating the poor thing very poorly. It deserves a lot more than this :(

Our cats go where they want, including the worktops and bedrooms. In the bed too if they want.
I can't imagine shuttling between homes with any of them or wiping their paws. Cats are fastidiously clean, there is no need.

You can't train them.

@Daisypaisy

*iklboo* because she gets litter in them, I don’t mean a full on dunk, just a wash.

Hoppinggreen it’s a tap, I would never hurt her, and obviously I don’t now. She is clearly a law to herself.

If you don't hurt her then what do you think she's learning? Learning occurs through either reward or punishment for a behaviour. You have to create fear/pain for punishment to work.

You have to create happiness for rewards to work

That's basic learning theory

Each individual restriction alone isn't an issue in itself, I've never let previous cats in bedrooms for example, it's the cumulative effect of all those restrictions, plus being kept indoors, plus being moved every week, plus the use of aversive 'training' methods, plus bizarre stuff like regularly washing paws. This is all a recipe for a highly stressed cat.

My cat coped ok with spending weekends at DH's flat and weekdays at my shared house but it was only for a few months before we moved in together. She has always gone wherever she wants though. Her favourite place to sleep is on top of the kitchen cabinets where nobody can reach her. She jumps on the worktop, jumps on the fridge then jumps on top of the high cabinet. I assumed all cat owners have made peace with the fact that their cat's butt has touched every surface in the house.

I think that your rules and regs are not really taking into account the natural behaviour of a cat and they definitely can't be "trained" unless they want to be. They do not have the obedience of dogs and they certainly seldom feel the need to impress a human. Ingratiate themselves for food, yes, want to impress - no. Cats train humans to do what they want. For example, cats don't meow at other cats. They vocalise, definitely, but they only really meow at humans. They are vocally training humans into doing what they want the human to do.

Most cats would find moving between two properties stressful on a regular basis. They are territorial, that means one key territory.

Most cats would find not going outside stressful, if they are outside inclined. Some breeds are ok with not going outside but most do like to explore, sniff the breeze, eat grass, lie in the shade etc.

Cats are independent and often solitary creatures who seek out attention on their terms and not the other way around. I'm not so sure that you could plan a cat to be a therapy cat, as it were. Some just won't be cut out for the life you describe. It's just a question of natural temperament and luck if you get a lap cat or a wild cat.

Climbing is a natural instinct of cats. They like high-up vantage points and your cat will also need the exercise of jumping. You probably will not stop the cat climbing and jumping onto work surfaces. As it gets older, it might be bored of the work surface, or it might not be able to jump so high. If you want to keep the cat you'll have to accept its natural behaviours, or it's not fair to the cat.

Ok so

I no longer use the water spray or tap her nose. I stopped doing that weeks ago, as soon as it was evident that they didn’t work.

Thank you to the posters who have given practical advice.

Veterinari I never leave food out, and am fastidious about cleaning, even more so now. I’ll speak with exh also.

Helpfulperson thank you, I’ll start trying her outside here and DD can try her at her fathers. I honestly didn’t think that cats can go outside at different houses.

Oh op. You're getting a pasting here but you're being woefully naive about the nature of a cat.

They're climbers. That's literally their superpower. You're essentially trying to train out a millennia of instinct and you won't succeed unless dcat is PARTICULARLY docile.

Travelling stresses cats out. They firm territories around their homes. They roam, they hunt, and they're nocturnal.

Everything you are doing with that cat goes against their entire nature.

Let her settle in one home, let her go outside snd stop expecting her to behave like a dog.

I couldnt cope with an indoor cat. We have a 9 week old kitten and counting down thr days till he can go out!! Hes driving me insane. He definitely needs the space and adventure of exploring

PS and at 10months old your cat is like a 12 yr old kid. Bursting with energy and heading towards the peak of physical fitness and strength of the "teenage" years. They calm down after 2-3 yo.

DancingKitten she does jump from the worktop to either the top of the fridge or a cupboard, so she has some nice vantage points. Clearly I will have to accept this.

@Daisypaisy

Ok so

I no longer use the water spray or tap her nose. I stopped doing that weeks ago, as soon as it was evident that they didn’t work.

Thank you to the posters who have given practical advice.

Veterinari I never leave food out, and am fastidious about cleaning, even more so now. I’ll speak with exh also.

Helpfulperson thank you, I’ll start trying her outside here and DD can try her at her fathers. I honestly didn’t think that cats can go outside at different houses.

What about providing her with high up space and cat shelving?