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The litter tray

Join our community of cat lovers on the Mumsnet Cat forum for kitten advice and help with cat behaviour.

When to accept failure in rescue cat rehoming?

79 replies

ThisMustBeMyDream · 12/05/2021 17:23

I am absolutely devastated. I rescued a lovely 8 year old boy 2 months ago. The first 4 weeks everything seemed to go well. We introduced him slowly to our resident girl cats. We did everything we should do to make for happy cats. We have feliway plug ins, separate eating areas (plus one) not in direct sight of each other. Same for litter trays, enough for each plus one (even though the other 2 don't use them). He sleeps in my room at night with one of my other cats. They usually sleep on the end of my bed, which is their preferred place!

The last month he has been showing various stress behaviours and has been to the vet twice, as well as telephone consultations with them to try and get to the bottom of the issues. He vomits, sometimes he can vomit once a day, or twice a day. Sometimes he goes a few days with out vomiting. But he is consistently doing it. He is spraying, again sometimes every day, sometimes he will go a few days without. He sprays in my children's bedroom as well as by two of the exits of the house. I've managed to cover the bedroom so this is no longer a place he can get to. But the area is ruined and now needs a new carpet. All the online advice on cleaning is a total failure. Nothing truly works. I can't cover the area by the external doors as I can't get out the house if I do.
Another issue is that his poo is loose, and has been since arrival. He has had 5 weeks of a sensitive stomach diet. We are now about to start a hypoallergenic diet to see if that changes anything as the vet said to go to this after the initial sensitive stomach food diet didn't work.

Todays vet visit confirmed he isn't losing weight, and no obvious issues on examination. They believe the behaviours are all stress related rather than a physical disorder. Likely cause being a multi cat household.

He is otherwise quite happy in my presence. He seems confident, and seeks company. He seeks the company of my other cats. One isn't interested in him, but certainly isn't making his life in any way difficult. She just keeps herself to herself. The other cat will play with him and they can sleep next to each other etc. He is friendly to all the neighbourhood cats too. He loves it when they come in the garden. It is the only time he wants to go outside. He is an indoor cat - his choice. I wasn't aware when we got him. He simply isn't interested in going out unless it is to follow me round the garden, or to say hello to a passing feline!

I just don't know what to do. I don't want him to be anxious or stressed. The vet thinks he must be because of his behaviours, so the only solution would be to rehome him to a single cat household. Except I really don't want to. I will if it is best for him, but I've no idea how to even go about it. Or is there something else I can try that I haven't already? I've tried a lot, so feel free to fire suggestions in case you hit on one I haven't done!

Picture taken this morning of him and my other cat, stopping me from making my bed!

When to accept failure in rescue cat rehoming?
OP posts:
ThisMustBeMyDream · 18/05/2021 12:58

@RandomMess, you make a good point. I do wonder if another kitten would make him happy. Unfortunately I suspect it will make our other resident cat unhappy. Now our lovely little Treacle is no longer here, she is making her presence known, and partaking in strokes and actually wanting attention. She has even nose bumped twice with Toffee. I very much doubt she would allow him to be the dominant one though. She likes to be boss. I think Toffee may also want to be the boss too given he will always try to groom the other cats.

@ditsygal I did try the tin foil at exits. Again, he wasn't bothered, and just stood on it to spray! However you have just given me a super idea. I will put some puppy pads in the area, plus under and over the carpet where he keeps going. Why the hell didn't I think of that! It might protect the carpet a little and give it time to dry. It never dries because it is having to be cleaned every day!!
After losing Treacle, I am even more reluctant to encourage him out in case we do have a crazy neighbour. We also live on a fairly busy road (although it is 20mph and is supposed to have calming measures and measures to use the bypass that was built to discourage passing thru traffic).

@Fluffycloudland77 the vet didn't suggest anything like that. How did that come about? Could be a good idea...!

OP posts:
ThisMustBeMyDream · 18/05/2021 12:59

@AlmostSummer21 I can't be certain whether there were other cats or not. He wasn't up for homing with other cats. I just feel that there probably was given how comfortable he seems around other cats (for an indoor cat!).

OP posts:
ThisMustBeMyDream · 18/05/2021 13:01

I've come home for lunch so that he feels like I've not been gone for too long.

I've also started leaving absolute radio 90's on Alexa for some company. Hope he likes Take That and the Spice Girls 🙈.

When to accept failure in rescue cat rehoming?
OP posts:
Fluffycloudland77 · 18/05/2021 13:06

Ours had frequent urine infections and would territory mark by spraying. I suggested to my vet that it wasn’t a very nice life for the cat and they said if he got another infection he’d be ok to try it but he died not long after.

He never had any issues until we moved when he was 2yo. It’s worth asking. Maybe they’ll have another suggestion

RandomMess · 18/05/2021 13:07

They are always unsettled when one goes.

If you were to get a very young kitten I have no idea whether to do it ASAP whilst the apple cart is still upset.

IME males seems to remain playful forever whereas girls grow up and can't be bothered that often and perhaps she found the kitten too playful and stayed out the way?

werekitty · 18/05/2021 18:16

My cat started urinating just outside her litter tray, I've started giving her cystease to chill her out which seems to be working. It's meant to relax them

ThisMustBeMyDream · 19/05/2021 12:03

He just pissed on the scratching box, whilst I was sat there. Of course it ran off in to the carpet.

Tha carpets are being professionally cleaned this afternoon. My front door stinks of cat wee as soon as you come in. I've tried all the stuff to clean it. Biological washing powder, simple solution, white spirit. Still stinks. Sad

Any tips to get it out if laminate without destroying the wood?

OP posts:
reallyreallyborednow · 19/05/2021 12:14

Honestly cats aren’t social animals.

I had 3, all from kittens. Snuggled together, played together, ate together, to the observer they were best mates.

But around adolescence the stress behaviours hit, the spraying, the yowling, scratching furniture.

I tried everything, really I did. Got advice from vets, cats protection, behaviourists. Tried every product out there.

In the end it was intolerable. Fused the electrics, blew up 3 toasters, a dvd player, and all my furniture had stains from spraying.

So when my brother was looking for a cat he took one. Because they were lovely cats. The change was instant, and it was so clear they were much happier as only cats. Settled, relaxed, happy. No spraying, no scratching furniture, became much more affectionate with humans.

My mum took the other. Those cats lived another 10 years as single cat households. I wish I’d separated sooner, and I will never have more than one cat again.

ThisMustBeMyDream · 20/05/2021 21:21

Over 24 hours with no further piss, shit or vomit 🙈. Maybe it was the fact it cost me £100 for the carpet cleaning yesterday, he is giving my nerves a break!!

Pic is current - they are sleeping next to one another, touching! Honey reached out to touch Toffee. This is all unheard of. Perhaps things could be settling for them? Maybe Treacle was the dominant one?

On the downside, Honey did leave me what my 5 year old described as "a bird heart and some broken wings" this morning. He wasn't far wrong. Bird inner remains and some feathers in the children's room. We didn't discover the rest of said bird.... Oh the joys! Envy

You can't have two well behaved cats at the same time, can you?!

When to accept failure in rescue cat rehoming?
OP posts:
Ellmau · 20/05/2021 21:49

Oh I do hope things are settling.

claireb7rg · 20/05/2021 22:21

@ThisMustBeMyDream

Over 24 hours with no further piss, shit or vomit 🙈. Maybe it was the fact it cost me £100 for the carpet cleaning yesterday, he is giving my nerves a break!!

Pic is current - they are sleeping next to one another, touching! Honey reached out to touch Toffee. This is all unheard of. Perhaps things could be settling for them? Maybe Treacle was the dominant one?

On the downside, Honey did leave me what my 5 year old described as "a bird heart and some broken wings" this morning. He wasn't far wrong. Bird inner remains and some feathers in the children's room. We didn't discover the rest of said bird.... Oh the joys! Envy

You can't have two well behaved cats at the same time, can you?!

😍 for the picture, not the bird remains

It's been 6 weeks now and my two are still not at that stage, 9 month old new cat is chasing 7 yr old boy and he doesn't get much peace. There's been a bit of fighting (mostly from her) and hissing from him and a lot of sniffing each other

ThisMustBeMyDream · 21/05/2021 09:34

Fail. Piss at the front door. Not a spray. Actual piss. Both litter trays were cleaned out before I went to bed last night. Ffs.

OP posts:
claireb7rg · 21/05/2021 09:42

@ThisMustBeMyDream

Fail. Piss at the front door. Not a spray. Actual piss. Both litter trays were cleaned out before I went to bed last night. Ffs.
😢Oh no
GyozaPoser · 21/05/2021 10:17

I'd try deep cleaning the whole house with enzyme cleaner, confining him to one small room with his litter tray until he starts to use it exclusively. One of our male cats started pissing randomly around the house and confining him and slowly increasing his freedom worked well.

Fluffycloudland77 · 21/05/2021 11:06

Is a cat spraying in your doorway and your cats counter-marking?.

Our porch being sprayed on now our boys gone.

ThisMustBeMyDream · 21/05/2021 16:24

No, no other cats spraying at the doors or anywhere around. At first he was just spraying. Now he is both spraying and urinating.
He just bit me for stroking him the wrong way (in his opinion!). My patience is being tested. Sad

OP posts:
Fluffycloudland77 · 21/05/2021 16:40

Have the vets tested his urine for infection?.

I used to keep an oral syringe to suck up wee then you can put it in a human sample bottle and run it down the vets.

My vets 17 miles away. Hopefully yours is closer.

SaskiaRembrandt · 21/05/2021 17:11

[quote Umbra]@ConfusedAdultFemale - have you tried dry food for longhaired cats? We have a longhaired rescue who started vomiting hairballs after his full coat grew back in. Our vet recommended the food and - touch wood - he hasn't vomited since.[/quote]
Yes, this ^ My cat used to vomit quite often although she was perfectly healthy. I suspect it was furball related because it's stopped since she started eating this.

ConfusedAdultFemale · 21/05/2021 17:34

@Umbra sorry I’ve only just seen this, I’ll give it a try thanks. He’s a bit of a nightmare with them and doesn’t sound or look at all pleasant for him.

@ThisMustBeMyDream I’m so sorry for your loss Flowers how’s Toffee doing now?

If it’s any consolation, mine once left a half eaten carcass by my bedroom door and blood trail down the hall. Horrified didn’t cover it GrinSad

ThisMustBeMyDream · 02/06/2021 23:40

Well, today was the day I admitted defeat. He has gone back to the rescue to be rehomed.
Things just got worse. No improvements no matter what I tried.
We tried long and hard to make him happy. I can only think we were not meant to be his forever family.
I'm just sat here crying. The loss of Treacle, and admitting defeat with Toffee has just broken me.
I have sent all his things with him, his special bowls (thanks to whoever suggested them), his hypoallergenic food, his toys, his blanket (knitted by my mum for my middle son - but he insisted it went with him so he would be able to smell us still for comfort Sad). I even sent the rest of the puppy pads and his next dose of flea treatment (vet prescribed stuff). I emailed absolutely every bit of info over, all the things we had done, the emails from the vets in discussion about how to help him.
My house has gone from 3 cats to 1 in the space of 3 weeks. My heart hurts. I just hope I did the right thing for him if he was unhappy here.

OP posts:
Teessider · 02/06/2021 23:42

You did the right thing. Cats are - in the main - solitary and you can't have your house used as a giant litter tray

TheLongRider · 02/06/2021 23:51

Flowers I'm so, so sorry. You did the best you could do for him and you.

EachandEveryone · 03/06/2021 09:21

Will they let you know?

CatChant · 03/06/2021 10:48

I am so sorry. You tried so incredibly hard. Flowers

redpeppersoup · 03/06/2021 10:52

I’m so sorry for both your losses, you sound like a lovely owner Flowers

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