How to handle end of life for old poorly cat with tumour

[bigarsebelinda]

Please may I have some help and advice regarding my poorly cat? I don't have another adult I can talk to about this and I'm feeling a bit clueless.

Cat is 18/19. Has big tumour on skin that is growing fast. She's scratched it and broken skin in the past so she's been wearing a medical pet vest to prevent this.

She is clearly deteriorating, likely to be in some pain. A bit unsteady but mobile. She is alert in that she can spot another cat outside and want to chase it away but she doesn't go far.
She mostly uses her litter box correctly and eats loads still. She's become very vocal ☺️

I need to talk to vet again I know but so far they've been very reluctant to give me advice on when she might have reached the end. Not helped by having to discuss her in a carpark and no face time with the vet.

I don't want her to suffer at all but I don't want to make the call to euthanise too soon. Heard the expression better a week too soon than a day too late.

I've got two kids who've not experienced death before. I've been preparing them but this is making me so sad and it's going to break me. No idea how I handle it for them too.

Any advice on any of this please pile in

Thank you.

You will know when it's time. Why not get some paw prints and you can get key rings etc made with them. Plan how you want it to be when the time cones. And what you will do with her. Individual cremation/ burial etc. It makes it much easier when the time does come. Putting to sleep is actually a really peaceful and dignified end.

I think you do know when it's the right time..all the time they have a good quality of life and pain is managed, there's no need to euthenase. You know your cat well, look for small changes, lethargy, being distant, purring for no reason (it's self comforting) - the vets can't give you a definite time line as it's not necessarily a linear change.
You have my sympathies, it's a hard time.

Hi, a couple of weeks on and it's becoming clear that the cat isn't going reach end of life before the tumour gets out of hand. It's massive , keeps bleeding, ulcerated and infected. We are trying to keep it covered with a pet vest but it's hard to keep the wound clean even with the vest due to the it bleeding occasionally..

Despite this she is eating and drinking and is happy as a cat can be in a vest and with a tumour.

I can't get my head around euthanising a cat who isn't right at the end of life. She doesn't appear to be in pain but who knows with cats.

It's awful and I don't knows what to do and don't have a partner ( or family) to help me find the right route. 😟😟

Honestly as a vet it really is better while they are happy and bright than once the big crisis occurs.

If she is scratch at and making bleed the tumour her quality of life is suboptimal. The very last thing you want is for it to burst and for her to be distressed.

She must be in pain with a bleeding infected ulcerated tumour. They are good at hiding discomfort and will purr not because they are content but because they are trying to comfort themselves.

Average age for a cat is 16 so she's done well to get this far.

From your description it sounds like the time has come OP. I'm sorry. The kindest thing is to let her go before she gets any worse. I hope that with the current restrictions you will be allowed to be with your cat when she goes x

(I'm not a vet but an experienced cat owner.)

Also the loss of a pet, while hard, I think is a useful life lesson for children. The Blue Cross I believe has a leaflet on pet bereavement which may help.

I think the time is now, OP. 'End of life's is a human concept that doesn't apply to animals. Animals are designed to live healthily then die quickly as soon as their health is compromised. Sooner or later you have to think about their dignity.

I am so sorry for you and kitty both. She must be suffering. We had two cats in that condition, and as heartbreaking as it was, we had them put to sleep.

I'm so sorry for your predicament but echo above posters; time is now

You (and cat does too) how much love and care has been given x

I was in a similar situation a while back with our dear old cat, different ailments but clearly limiting her quality of life. Despite this she still enjoyed cuddles and eating and seemed fairly bright outside of her medical issues. After months of deterioration we finally put her to rest and now looking back I wish we hadn't clung on for so long. People say you'll know when the time is right but I actually really struggled with the 'playing god' feeling of making the decision. I think if you look back at this point in a few weeks time you'll see that now is the right time. It can't be any fun for her, poor old thing. I hope you manage to make peace with it all

@bigarsebelinda
What does your cat enjoy? Can she run, jump, explore, play?
Can she do the things she likes or is she just existing?

Eating and drinking are basic survival behaviours and don't indicate a good quality of life.
If the lump is big it will be pulling in her skin and the ulceration will be sore. I'd suggest euthanasia sooner rather than later as. You want to prevent her from suffering, not wait until she's so weighed down by it she can't move.

Give her her favourite treats and lots of cuddles then take her. If it helps phone the vets first and ask to speak to one of them on the phone first. Then you can have a clear conversation about her quality of life and the euthanasia process before you take her.
Take care

Thanks so much for your kind messages.

I am sorry for all of you have have experienced similar. It is truly painful.

I agree with your unanimous points of view that the time is now. I think just writing my post last night helped me also draw the same conclusion.

Mentally I am ready though beyond sad about it and can't imagine life without her.

The children however need to a chance to understand and say goodbye before she goes so I think planning this for Monday might be a good plan.

I've been preparing them gradually for this moment but I know they will be so upset. I've got to find the strength to manage their upset along side my own.

I will talk to vet today.

My lovely girl had a huge tumour in her mouth. We euthanised at the point where she just started to drop weight as she could no longer eat properly. She was also starting to get very tired and was dribbling all over herself a lot and making a mess with her food which was upsetting her as she was always a very tidy, delicate eater. The vet thought that from this point onwards it would be a rapid decline and we wanted to spare her that. So we could have kept her going for a few more weeks but she would eventually have suffered and I think we let her go at the right time.

It's very hard OP, but you've really done the best for her and it sounds like she's had a very happy life x

OP I don't know if it's something vets are currently offering, but they may be able to come to your home to send her off. Worth asking the question but current guidelines may say no.

Hope your last weekend together is peaceful. You will look back and know that this decision was a merciful one. It's the last act of love we can offer beloved pets. Sending love x

Thank you everyone who offered kindness and advice.

This afternoon my 19yo term feline companion and friend died peacefully laying in my arms at home.

I found a vet willing to come out to the house who was brilliant and as kind to me as he was to my cat.

It's not really sunk in yet though I keep thinking I can see her out the corner of my eye.

RIP lovely girl, you had an awesome life and were an fabulous friend xxxx

I am so sorry your post had me in tears. Sounds like a dignified and peaceful end for your lovely cat. As a cat owner myself that is how I would like it to be at the end. I hope you and your DC are ok. Take care op.

This afternoon my 19yo term feline companion and friend died peacefully laying in my arms at home. I found a vet willing to come out to the house who was brilliant and as kind to me as he was to my cat

You have done the kindest thing for your cat that she died peacefully at home in the place she loved. It sounds like she had a wonderful life with you. It must be really hard but you did the best for her.

Sad news, but good you managed at home. A peaceful end for an old friend.

So sorry OP our pets really do bring us so much joy, look back on all the lovely and funny times you had with her.

Although hard it is a good life lesson for children. Our family cat was put to sleep when I was a teen and I really learnt about love and grief from that experience.

Sad news OP. What a loved girl she clearly was! Lovely vet too.

I'm so sorry OP 💔 very brave decision.

I'm so sorry but it does sound like she had a good death in her own home in your arms.
I hope you are okay
I have to do the same with my cat soon and know how hard it will be.

Oh I'm sorry op, our pets really are family members. You must be hartbroken. I still dream about a dog we had to have put down at the end of his life ten years ago. It sounds like your cat went to sleep in the kindest and most comfortable way possible, and up until then she was loved dearly by all of you. No cat could want for more. As lemorella says your children will learn a lot through this, just remember it's ok for them to see you sad, sometimes the best thing you can do is to just have a good cry and cuddle together.

@bigarsebelinda

Thank you everyone who offered kindness and advice.

This afternoon my 19yo term feline companion and friend died peacefully laying in my arms at home.

I found a vet willing to come out to the house who was brilliant and as kind to me as he was to my cat.

It's not really sunk in yet though I keep thinking I can see her out the corner of my eye.

RIP lovely girl, you had an awesome life and were an fabulous friend xxxx

Well done @bigarsebelinda you made the kindest and bravest decision you could.

The kindest and hardest decision but the right one I think, sorry for your loss xx