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Join our community of cat lovers on the Mumsnet Cat forum for kitten advice and help with cat behaviour.

Original poster

Need to make a decision by tomorrow morning, Do I take the cat?

69 replies

wdido · 28/08/2020 19:19

Hello everyone. I don't want to go through the entire story but in a nutshell my adult son has mental health problems and has unfortunately recently been deemed not to have capacity to look after himself anymore (he lives independantly in a flat with his four year old cat) and will be moving into supported living, he has been told he can't take his cat. (He has always looked after his cat, no issues there)

He has asked me if I will take his cat so he won't have to go to someone we don't know. He is the most placid little cat I have ever known and is no trouble at all, barely ever even meows unless you are putting food out for him.

The problem.. I have never owned a cat before. I live in a one bedroom flat, I'm afraid that I will be making the decision with my heart and not my head. I could afford the costs he will bring, insurence etc and I work from home so he wouldn't be alone all day, I'm just scared that if I say yes and it doesn't work out I will feel terrible.

Under the circumstances would it be best for all involved to have a clean break or do I adopt him (it would mean my son would still see him, he will be getting three days a week out to visit family etc.)

They need to know by the morning and I have no clue what to do.

OP posts:
PaulinePetrovaPosey · 28/08/2020 19:25

I'd take it like a shot, but I like cats. Do you?

And do you have a garden? I'd be wary of a house cat, especially if it's used to being outside.

As for the clean break... that depends more on your son I think. The cAt probably won't care as long as someone friendly is feeding it 😸

But good luck whatever you do, it sounds tough x

Butterer · 28/08/2020 19:28

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Fluffycloudland77 · 28/08/2020 19:29

I’d take it. What will happen if you don’t? They won’t put it down will they?.

Butterer · 28/08/2020 19:31

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Backtoschoolnotsoonenough · 28/08/2020 19:31

I think the dcat would give you some comfort that you have helped your ds at this awful time..and a friendly face /paw to hug!
If things don't work out you can always rethink..
After all every dcat owner has to have had a first dcat don't they?

Rigamorph · 28/08/2020 19:32

Take the cat for a trial month and see how you get on. Chances are shelters are busy and might not have room for him immediately anyway.

Butterer · 28/08/2020 19:32

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
wdido · 28/08/2020 19:32

Forgot to say yes I have a garden but it is shared with the lady who lives below me, If I don't take him he will need to be rehomed, or go to a shelter which doesn't make me feel great..
I'm just thinking of the overall commitment and the fact he could live for many years, If this hadn't happened I had no plans to get a pet. I do like cats but never had one.

OP posts:
Butterer · 28/08/2020 19:33

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

RandomMess · 28/08/2020 19:34

Cats are pretty easy, take him for a 2 month trial you will fall in love.

RandomMess · 28/08/2020 19:35

You need to keep it in your flat for 2-3 weeks before letting it out. In many ways it would be easier to keep him as a house cat tbh.

Megan2018 · 28/08/2020 19:36

Take the cat, see how it goes. Better to try than to not, the outcome for the cat if you change your mind is the same so you have nothing to lose,

Besides, cats are amazing Smile

Onacleardayyoucansee · 28/08/2020 19:36

I'd take it!

You will be a great owner, that you are enquiring and thinking around it shows that you are suitable.

In a few weeks you will wonder how you ever lived without dcat!

Onacleardayyoucansee · 28/08/2020 19:38

Oh, manage your sons expectations.
Say you will try your best to keep him but no guarantee.

EachandEveryone · 28/08/2020 19:41

I’d take him and I wouldn’t turn him into a house cat unless you are near a main road. They are pretty easy and great company,

RandomMess · 28/08/2020 19:48

BTW they sleep 18-20 hours per day!!! They only want cuddles and attention as and when it suits them...

You may have to decide whether or not you let your new master sleep with you. We trained ours that they couldn't sleep with us overnight and now they ask to be put to bed from 9pm 😆

FatCatThinCat · 28/08/2020 19:49

We trained ours that they couldn't sleep on the beds. They ignore this training and sleep right in the middle with smug faces.

pandafunfactory · 28/08/2020 19:51

Take the cat. Your poor son, I can imagine having to give up our cat. That's not going to help his state.take the cat and if it really doesn't work try and rehome with friends so he can keep in touch.

winterchills · 28/08/2020 19:52

Take the cat!

pandafunfactory · 28/08/2020 19:52

Can't imagine, not can!

bodgeitandscarper · 28/08/2020 20:06

Take the cat, your son will be happier, the cat will be fine and you will probably find that you wish you'd got a cat years ago!

PeartreeProductions · 28/08/2020 20:10

Definitely take the cat, they are very easy to look after and make fantastic pets. Hope things improve for your son.

User43210 · 28/08/2020 20:11

I don't really like cats and, in your circumstance, I would 100% take the cat. It's not even a bad cat, I think it would be lovely and your DS would still get to see the cat.
I couldn't imagine it going to a stranger.
But maybe say to your son that, should it become too much of a burden, you'll let him know and you can work to rehome the cat together. I hope it never comes to this but then you can't worry about the need in the future as you were upfront and gave it a go! 🐱

giletrouge · 28/08/2020 20:15

As you like cats and have a garden and can afford it I can't see why you wouldn't. One placid cat is not arduous and you will undoubtedly form an attachment both ways (aka mutual adoration!).
Only possible problem is the lady downstairs - is she likely to object?

PlanDeRaccordement · 28/08/2020 20:17

The cat is probably essential to your sons MH, they are no different from therapy dogs. It would make a huge difference for your son if he could visit you and cat and see it well taken care of.

Don’t worry too much, cats are very independent and use litter boxes, so no need to take for walks or out to the toilet, etc. They are fine in small flats, my DB has a cat on the 28th floor of a high rise in a 1 bedroom flat and this cat is very happy.