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Join our community of cat lovers on the Mumsnet Cat forum for kitten advice and help with cat behaviour.

Need to make a decision by tomorrow morning, Do I take the cat?

69 replies

wdido · 28/08/2020 19:19

Hello everyone. I don't want to go through the entire story but in a nutshell my adult son has mental health problems and has unfortunately recently been deemed not to have capacity to look after himself anymore (he lives independantly in a flat with his four year old cat) and will be moving into supported living, he has been told he can't take his cat. (He has always looked after his cat, no issues there)

He has asked me if I will take his cat so he won't have to go to someone we don't know. He is the most placid little cat I have ever known and is no trouble at all, barely ever even meows unless you are putting food out for him.

The problem.. I have never owned a cat before. I live in a one bedroom flat, I'm afraid that I will be making the decision with my heart and not my head. I could afford the costs he will bring, insurence etc and I work from home so he wouldn't be alone all day, I'm just scared that if I say yes and it doesn't work out I will feel terrible.

Under the circumstances would it be best for all involved to have a clean break or do I adopt him (it would mean my son would still see him, he will be getting three days a week out to visit family etc.)

They need to know by the morning and I have no clue what to do.

OP posts:
yourestandingonmyneck · 28/08/2020 20:18

As cats go he sounds pretty low maintenance. If I was you I would definitely try. If it doesn't work out you could try to rehome him, but he sounds like a pretty chilled cat, and your set up at home sounds pretty good - I think it could work out really well.

I also think it would mean a lot to your son. And I'm sure he would enjoy helping you to get him all set up and settled in his new home with you.

Good luck to you all, particularly to your son in his new home x

Beamur · 28/08/2020 20:20

4 years is young and unless something unexpected happens cat is likely to be little trouble health wise for years.
They are pretty undemanding pets in many ways but rewarding. They sleep a lot, want regular feeding, fuss when required, somewhere to toilet, somewhere to scratch their claws and ideally a sunny spot for a nap. Annual inoculations, flea and worm treatment. In return you will get head bumps and purrs and regular indifference.

Fluffycloudland77 · 28/08/2020 20:29

@FatCatThinCat

We trained ours that they couldn't sleep on the beds. They ignore this training and sleep right in the middle with smug faces.
I admire your optimism though. Ours was never going to be allowed upstairs according to dh, or in the bedrooms, or on the bed. When he was young he slept on my pillow and gently eased my head off it if I was hogging it.
Haffdonga · 28/08/2020 20:32

For your ds, yes you should.
For the cat, yes you should.

For yourself - well, living with a cat enhances life, so why not? If you find it really doesn't work out then rehoming at that stage would be better. At least you've tried.

barfotoliv · 28/08/2020 20:35

Take the cat! I have two and they are honestly no bother. They mostly just sleep all day. I spend about £10/15 a month on food for the both but that's it.

LittleCabbage · 28/08/2020 20:38

I would, given the fact it is a placid cat, you can afford insurance, you have a garden, and you work from home. Also, presumably your som would be so much happier if he knows the cat is with you, and can visit it.

wdido · 28/08/2020 20:52

Thanks everyone.. I guess I am now a crazy cat lady lol..

Need to make a decision by tomorrow morning, Do I take the cat?
OP posts:
swampytiggaa · 28/08/2020 20:55

Oh good luck! I’m a recent cat owner and can’t imagine ever being without one now 🙂

HowDeeDooDee · 28/08/2020 20:56

He looks lovely and soppyFlowers

bengalcat · 28/08/2020 20:59

What a beautiful creature . So glad it’s with you and your son must be relieved to have not entirely lost his best friend .

EL8888 · 28/08/2020 21:28

Oooh he’s lovely! Enjoy

bodgeitandscarper · 28/08/2020 21:59

Oh a black cat! There's something about them that makes them special, a sort of wisdom. I don't think you'll have any regrets. 😊

Bargebill19 · 28/08/2020 22:04

Lovely to read a happy ending. Congratulations- you’ve made the right choice.

helpfulperson · 28/08/2020 22:11

Go for it. You wont regret it. You will be a cat slave before you know it.

Butterer · 28/08/2020 22:12

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Beamur · 28/08/2020 22:13

Welcome to the cat coven.
What a splendid looking cat.

MJMG2015 · 28/08/2020 22:13

Hey Crazy Cat Lady 🐱

Or Very Lovely Mummy!

I'm sure knowing his cat is with you will help your DS SO much.

I hope DS gets the help he needs.

Motheroftwofeline · 28/08/2020 22:16

Wonderful decision. I’m sure he’ll soon be a very special part of your life, and your DS will love hearing updates.

TW2013 · 28/08/2020 22:22

You were never going to get a balanced opinion on this board, but even dh was fairly anti cats and ours soon wrapped him around their little paw! We just have someone popping in if we go away, or if overnight we just leave out food and water. They really are low maintenance!

madcatladyforever · 28/08/2020 22:23

I've had my cat for 19 years, I wouldn't part with her for the world. The older she gets the more I love her.
They win your hearts and are such wonderful companions.
Your place sounds ideal especially as you work from home.

SundayReilly · 28/08/2020 22:31

Yes
Take it .
It will be fine
You need the cat
The cat needs you
It will work

Thisyearcandoone · 28/08/2020 22:32

You'll love having a cat 🐱

Oliversmumsarmy · 28/08/2020 22:32

I was going to say it would be good for your Ds if he knows dcat is with you.

It would be good for the car not having to spend time in a shelter

And it will be good for you.

I have 5 indoor cats. They are wonderful and crazy and all have their own personalities.

I love black cats.

Oliversmumsarmy · 28/08/2020 22:33

Car= Cat

I am sure a car won’t bother being in a shelter

MiniMum97 · 28/08/2020 23:04

Cats are lovely and the easiest pet you could own. Take it!