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The litter tray

Join our community of cat lovers on the Mumsnet Cat forum for kitten advice and help with cat behaviour.

Would you rehome for this reason?

47 replies

KickAssAngel · 08/08/2020 16:47

I have an old(ish) ginger tom. We got him from friends several years ago and think he's about 17. He is my little shadow, follows me around the house and gazes at me with adoration. I completely adore him back, but I'm considering giving him to a shelter as I just can't cope with the problems any more.

He's always been prone to wee-ing in various places, and any change in routine upsets him. He's also had urine infections that cause the same problems, but over the last few months we've had an escalation in problems.

So far I've spent over $1,000 at the vets. We are going to have to re-floor the entire basement at a cost of over $10,000. He has weak hips/back legs and can't manage the stairs to the basement anymore, so we now have 2 litter boxes upstairs. One is in the laundry room, one in the dining room. In spite of this he constantly pees on the carpet in the dining room floor, so that is now covered with towels and newspapers. I took him to the vet yesterday and he has another urine infection - he only got over the last one 2 weeks ago. Because of the infection his pee smells foul - far, far worse than normal cat pee.

As well as the pee problems he also has meds for his joints, his thyroid (overactive) and he's on anti-anxiety meds. Currently he's also on pro-biotics and anti-biotics.

Additionally, he loves a morning shower and often wakes me up to make this happen. He starts waking me up around 5:30. Except it's getting earlier, and the other night he kept me awake until after 3 am, at which point I cracked and gave him a shower, then finally got some sleep.

I'm sleep deprived. My entire house stinks of extra- sour & strong infected cat pee. It is going to cost us around $25,000 to get the house/floor/carpets clean and odor-free (we'll actually have to replace flooring under the carpets, not just the carpets) and he could then just ruin them all again.

There's an animal shelter near us that is a no-kill shelter. I would give them a huge donation (another $1,000 on top of how much this is costing doesn't seem like much) and I know he would be well cared for.

If my cat stays with us we're thinking we may have to keep him shut in just a few rooms (it's a big American open-plan so there are only a few places we can contain him) and only let him out when one of us isn't working and we can sit with him. This seems cruel and worse than having a shelter (where they have large play areas) taking care of him.

If I knew it was only a couple of months that this will go on, I would happily keep him, but this could be several years. Almost all my spare time and all our money is going on taking care of this cat and trying to protect our house. We have a good carpet cleaning machine and I have washed carpets constantly, but they still smell all the time as the damage is just so much.

DH (rightly) says that it will break my heart to get rid of him, but sooner or later he will die and my heart will be broken then anyway. If he goes to a good shelter (and I know this shelter, have visited/donated etc for years) at least my house can become liveable again. Am I just over-reacting to living in a fog of sour cat pee, or would you consider re-homing if this were your cat?

OP posts:
Toilenstripes · 08/08/2020 16:51

Have you talked to the vet about the possibility of having him euthanised? He’s very old and chronically unwell. It might be kindest to end his suffering. I’m sorry to even write that.

Frenchfancy · 08/08/2020 16:52

I think that the time has come to say goodbye. It is not fair on the cat or the shelter to take the cat there. Quality of life is important and this is effecting both the cat's and yours. Do the right thing and take the cat to the vet.

thecatneuterer · 08/08/2020 16:53

No. You can't rehome him - he isn't homeable. What you are suggesting is asking a shelter to look after him until he dies - which would be awful for him and not fair on the shelter. Regardless of the money the shelter needs the space. Even if you paid for his care you would still be causing them massive issues and prevent them from taking in other cats.

PTS is really the only realistic option here.

Morfin · 08/08/2020 16:53

Agree with above, he would never understand or cope with a shelter, you'd be putting him there for your conscience not his benefit.

Fluffycloudland77 · 08/08/2020 17:19

Which anti anxiety med is he on?.

Do you give him cystease capsules?.

KickAssAngel · 08/08/2020 17:20

I wasn't expecting these answers. I thought the shelter would be kinder, and they do actually take in older cats and care for them. There's a whole thing on their website about end of life care and what they do. They ask that you talk to them about medical needs and do take cats who can't go to another home

But yes, it does make me sad that he could be at the shelter and miss me. Before shut down happened DH told me that when I go to work each day he sits by the back door and howls for me.

I'm so sad about this. My last cat developed cancer and was clearly so unwell that there was no choice, but when he's not peeing over the house, this is my cutest most affectionate cat ever. I'm so sad about this, but several people saying the same thing at least makes me feel like I'm not just being cruel and loving my carpets more than my cat.

OP posts:
KickAssAngel · 08/08/2020 17:23

He's on clomicalm. The vet said we can try doubling the dose as he's only been on it for a few weeks.

OP posts:
Fluffycloudland77 · 08/08/2020 17:33

I’ve just googled that and it’s tricyclic so it doesn’t work straightaway but my vet offered anitryptiline for my cat which is the same group.

Check with cystease to see if you can supplement with that in his wet food & mix a tablespoon of water into his food to dilute his urine. If he isn’t drinking a lot try filtered water in his bowl,

Him howling for you really tugs at the heartstrings doesn’t it?.

Mine had similar issues but cystease sorted out a lot of it. I know what you mean by the smell.

MattBerrysHair · 08/08/2020 17:33

Moving to a shelter would be incredibly traumatic for him, however lovely the shelter may be. He already has anxiety and doesn't cope well with change so it would be very unkind to make him go through that. Constant urine infections must be very uncomfortable, if not painful, for him. It would be best to have him euthanized if you really can't cope with him anymore.

Feralkidsatthecampsite · 08/08/2020 17:36

Not being harsh op but could you really cope with the guilt of dumping him? At 17 that is likely how he will feel..
Pts seems the kindest thing. Dcats like living cleanly. He clearly isn't a happy dcat.

DartmoorDoughnut · 08/08/2020 17:36

At his age and with his issues I think it would be kinder to PTS rather than rehome at his age tbh

KickAssAngel · 08/08/2020 17:42

If I thought we could get on top of the infection I would keep him for sure, but even the vet is running out of ideas and telling me that the next options are very expensive. I'd live with the anxiety and put up with giving him 3am showers if that were the only problem.

I'm so torn. i want a magic solution to the urine problems, or at least a crystal ball to tell me if this is short term or not.

OP posts:
Elouera · 08/08/2020 17:47

Sorry OP, but what replies were you expecting??? put yDo you think we all agree that your elderly, unwell cat needs shelter in the vain hope that someone else takes him on in the months/years he might have to live a uncomfortable demise?

Only you know the full situation, but going on your OP, the kindest thing would be to put him down now, or make adjustments in your own home to make him more comfortable. Could you get barriers to prevent him getting into the basement, or on the carpets?

yorkshirecountrylass · 08/08/2020 17:51

There are worse things in life than a good death OP. He's had some wonderful years with you and is now suffering. However lovely the shelter, it is not the home he knows and loves. Speak to your vet and do the right thing for both of you 🤗

Toddlerteaplease · 08/08/2020 18:12

I also agree with the others. Given that he's so attached to you I would also PTS. I don't think you'd be able to cope with the guilt of putting him in the shelter.

Grumpyoldpersonwithcats · 08/08/2020 18:21

I concur with most other posters here. Your cat sounds to be at end of life and his quality of life is clearly reduced. Having him euthanized is a far better option for him then putting him into a shelter.

chunkyrun · 08/08/2020 18:26

Pets just don't live long enough. As his owner this bit is down to you. Don't pass the buck you'll regret it. Let him live in dignity in the home he knows. If he needs to be Pts and it sadly sounds the case, you have to make that choice. It's hard but it's what you agreed to when you took on the responsibility of a pet

KickAssAngel · 08/08/2020 18:37

I am hearing people, but it's a hard adjustment to make. Obviously there have been signs of aging for years. He's pretty deaf, with sore back hips and anxiety, but we could manage all that. We're doing everything we can think of to solve the urine problems. We're mainly trying to get him well, and to watch him closely to make sure he uses the litter boxes. I'm going to see this batch of anti biotics through, but if he gets another infection I will seriously consider the pts option. I hate the idea of making pets suffer and think it's selfish to keep them hanging on for your own gratification, but I honestly wasn't seeing him as being this close to the end.
We could use cat nappies and/or those puppy pads, but if he's feeling unwell the majority of the time that isn't kind to him. Two weeks ago the vet declared his urine beautiful but yesterday's tests showed bacteria and both red and white blood cells in it. It's worrying that he got sick again so quickly and I need to pay attention to how ill he must be if that's happening.

OP posts:
Icepinkeskimo · 08/08/2020 18:37

I cannot believe some of the senseless and unfeeling comments by some posters here.
Let's hope no one puts you to sleep when you have bladder problems.
Clearly the old boy is having a few problems with his water works. He's getting older he's slowing down, it happens to everyone whether their a cat or a human.
Putting him in a shelter is frankly cruel he deserves better than that and you could live with the guilt? You also mentioned he's on meds that probably haven't kicked in yet.
How about this? He has his own section of the house? His own room for when your out? A really large pen with bedding and a litter tray?
He's 17 he's a geriatric gentleman who probably sleeps a lot, gets a little bit confused now and again but the main thing is he loves you. Don't turn your back on him and don't give up on him.

Get him a 'safe space' in your home and let him live out his twilight years loved and comfortable. You owe it to him and yourself.

Frenchfancy · 08/08/2020 18:47

I don't think any of the posts here have been unfeeling. We are far kinder to our pets than we are to our elderly.

KickAssAngel · 08/08/2020 18:49

icepink - it seems cruel to confine him to one area of the house. We have tried blocking off the main area where he pees, but he just started using other areas (including my bedroom).

Because of the layout of the house, we have very limited areas where we can confine him - he would have so little space, and he'd know we were just the other side of the door.

But don't worry - I have accepted that he won't be going to the shelter. I've realized it was my way of avoiding whether it was time for him to be pts. I am going to do everything possible for him with the current meds, including all the cleaning that's currently required. But, if after this he gets another infection, I have to consider if this is it for him. He can't be happy if he's constantly got infections, so I need to think about his quality of life here. If the vet is saying that she's running out of options, then I need to take that on board.

OP posts:
Soubriquet · 08/08/2020 18:53

I agree with having him PTS

Having him in a shelter will be so much more traumatic for him.

Putting him to sleep is kinder. He will be free of pain and distress

MarthasGinYard · 08/08/2020 18:57

Agree with icepink

Also You need to follow up on meds which may have not kicked in yet. It's worth trying a few different combinations. You may see a huge difference.

Elouera · 08/08/2020 19:00

In a human, red blood cells indicates blood, and white cells indicate an infection- which I assume is the same in a cat. The poor chat obviously isnt well and had multiple, unresolvable issues.

Have you discussed the long term prognosis with the vet?

Tavannach · 08/08/2020 19:02

It would be kindest to put him to sleep. It wouldn't be fair to move him to a rescue centre when he's so old and unwell.
Ask the vet to come to your house for the final appointment so there's no stressful vet's visit.