Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
The litter tray

Join our community of cat lovers on the Mumsnet Cat forum for kitten advice and help with cat behaviour.

Original poster

I'm so stuck!!

44 replies

aloulou · 13/07/2020 04:09

I'm new to owning pets and I got my first kitten a week ago, I had visions of her and me cuddling and her being affectionate and it's just not happened. She is not affectionate at all she's not mean at all but when she's put on our lap she jumps off she's always trying to playfully bite and scratch when we try and stroke her she doesn't listen to us when we try and discipline her she's 8 weeks. I'm struggling to bond her because I get nervous of her when she is attacking our feet or hands I really don't know what to do! She's lovely but not what I expected her Will she change after she's spayed ? I'm so stuck ConfusedSad

OP posts:
Oldestchild90s · 13/07/2020 04:21

I don't think the kitten is the problem here. Shes not a novelty, you don't just get one and try to discipline it when they don't do as you please! Hopefully you're trolling, or send the poor thing back to where you got it.

Soubriquet · 13/07/2020 06:24

Kittens don’t lay on your lap like an adoring little pet

They are small little firecrackers who will go until they drop into a quick sleep and then back at it

They don’t become lap cats, if they ever do, until they reach adulthood which is why so many people advocate adult cats instead of kittens for most people.

Shesaysso · 13/07/2020 06:32

She just sounds exactly like a normal kitten. Cats are free spirits. You can’t really discipline a cat, you can tell them not to do something and move them away but in my experience they’ll just do it again when they feel like it. Maybe read some kitten/cat books which may help you.

TheDinnerWitch · 13/07/2020 07:00

I have had many cats throughout my life, and have always adopted older cats precisely because I wanted more of a 'lap cat'. In my limited experience of kittens, they are very "eat, sleep, play, repeat" for at least the first year of their lives.

Toddlerteaplease · 13/07/2020 07:04

You can't discipline an 8 week old kitten. She's tiny!

Celticdawn5 · 13/07/2020 07:08

It’s a good idea to do some research before getting a pet but not too late to read up on it now.
Sounds normal to me too.

Don’t bother trying to ‘discipline’ .It won’t work .

Oldestchild90s · 13/07/2020 07:12

I have a feeling this post is not legit 👀

BillywilliamV · 13/07/2020 07:15

Why did you get a cat when you seem to want to own a dog would be my first question?
You get the cat you get, we have had a dozen cats over the years and you can predict absolutely nothing about their personalities. Your best chance of getting an affectionate cat is to let her come to you, dont chase her around the house trying to pick her up etc. or she will avoid you. Also dont let her attack hands, feet etc just gently move away with a firm "no". Get some cat toys that it is okay for her to play with and distract her with those.
She will start sheathing her claws when she is playing as she gets older, generally a year to 18 months, but that is also the time that she will start hunting seriously, they get over that generally in year or two..mostly!
I hope you get the cat you want, but I have always found that you end up loving the cat you get..and we have had allsorts!

pumpkinpie01 · 13/07/2020 07:24

Our kitten is the same age too and they sound very similar , as in the crazy dashing about and biting think that's normal kitten behaviour thought. will yours lie next to you and go to sleep then you could gently lift it onto your knee ?

thecatneuterer · 13/07/2020 14:55

She sounds like a normal kitten. She may end up affectionate and a lap cat, and she may not. If you want to be sure to get the sort of cat you want then you need to adopt an adult from a rescue - their temperament will be known so you know what you're getting.

Kittens are just kittens. You never know how they will turn out. And you never discipline cats or kittens. Cats don't understand the concept and it just traumatises them. She would probably be happier with another kitten to play with and would be able to play fight and use her energy that way.

HappyHammy · 13/07/2020 15:05

Kittens just want to play. They are not interested in being put on a lap unless they are about to fall asleep.

Original poster
aloulou · 13/07/2020 15:10

I'm not being nasty to her I know she's only little I'm just a first time kitten owner! I say no to her and move her away and she doesn't listen I was only asking as the only other kitten I've come across was different!

OP posts:
Fluffycloudland77 · 13/07/2020 16:16

All they want to do at this age is play because that’s how they learn to hunt & if they were wild they’d be kicked out at 12 weeks so they need to learn fast.

Just play with her as much as possible. They soon learn about fuss.

HappyHammy · 13/07/2020 16:24

She wont listen now or in the future. Thats not what cats do. Its just a game to her.

SimonJT · 13/07/2020 16:30

At eight weeks she should still be with her mum, kittens should stay with mum for at least twelve weeks. Between 8-12 weeks mum teaches important social skills such as bite inhibition, not scratching too heavily during play etc. Its also the age when they start perfecting their hunting, so your feet, hands etc are her prey.

Kittens generally aren’t cuddly, my adult cat is, but she essentially ignored us for the first 18 months, once she had matured she became fairly cuddly.

Cats can be trained to do things like sit etc, but they cannot be trained to behave!

Oldestchild90s · 13/07/2020 16:37

I have 4 cats. Only one of mine is very very cuddly but the other 3 are affectionate in different ways! It's the whole 'pets aren't just for Christmas' kind of thing and they are all entirely different. One of mine claws at you once shes had enough, one can't get enough affection, one keeps herself to herself and my boy is just a little bully 😂

Please be patient with this lovely kitten, don't get scared and nervous about her 'biting and clawing' as she's a tiny little animal not a lion, but when that happens they need to be stimulated with toys and trained properly.

Soubriquet · 13/07/2020 17:13

I never get the 8 week old kittens should still be with mum thing

Most rescues rehome at 8 weeks. If it’s good enough for rescues it’s good enough for joe public.

SimonJT · 13/07/2020 17:16

@Soubriquet

I never get the 8 week old kittens should still be with mum thing

Most rescues rehome at 8 weeks. If it’s good enough for rescues it’s good enough for joe public.

Most kittens in rescues aren’t taken in with their mum. Ours was (they were found in a treehouse) so the kittens were rehomed at 12 weeks by Celia Hammond Trust.
IncrediblySadToo · 13/07/2020 17:25

she doesn't listen to us when we try and discipline her she's 8 weeks

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂

Soubriquet · 13/07/2020 17:32

@IncrediblySadToo

she doesn't listen to us when we try and discipline her she's 8 weeks

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂

I know!

It’s like she’s forgotten she has a cat!

sweetkitty · 13/07/2020 17:33

Cats and discipline in the same sentence Grin

Sorry just most experienced cat owner will tell you cats do what they want when they want, everything is on their terms. If you want a pet who will adore you better get a dog. Actually my dog can drive me mad with her neediness some days.

Kittens are little land sharks all the want to do is attacks things until they fall asleep. Usually lasts until they are at least a year old. One of my cats only became affectionate in his elderly years when I think he got senile and forgot he hated us all! Another boy was a total lap cat and wanted to actually sleep on you. Of the three I have just now the girl is quite stand offish she likes her own space. The boys are more affectionate and will come for a fuss on their terms. Like others say it’s hard to tell their final personalities

Original poster
aloulou · 13/07/2020 17:38

@IncrediblySadToo

she doesn't listen to us when we try and discipline her she's 8 weeks

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂

Okay there's no need to start being funny!HmmI came on here for advice from people more experienced than me? As I said I'm a first to kittens! Do you expect me to be an expert!!
OP posts:
Soubriquet · 13/07/2020 17:40

No but I expect you to realise you have a cat not a dog

Cats can’t really be disciplined...cos they are cats.

Original poster
aloulou · 13/07/2020 17:45

Hey! So I've just come back from the vet, and found out my 8 week old kitten (Maia) was actually a boy lol!! I have a few questions if you don't mind Grin

He's just had his flea treatment from the vet and now he's home he's scratching a lot and meowing is he okay? Is this normal?

What age do they start spraying? And is it right that I need him neutered about 4 months

Are boys more affectionate or can you not really tell?

Hope I worded this right lol I got ripped apart in the last post for being uneducated Confused

OP posts:
Oldestchild90s · 13/07/2020 17:50

@aloulou i wouldn't say we ripped you apart i just think it was the way you worded your original post. I actually thought you were trolling at first! I cannot answer your questions because i'm not entirely sure but a few others on here are more experienced in these areas. All i do know is get him neutered as soon as it is possible, i do think 4+months is the earliest!