I'm so stuck!!

[aloulou]

I'm new to owning pets and I got my first kitten a week ago, I had visions of her and me cuddling and her being affectionate and it's just not happened. She is not affectionate at all she's not mean at all but when she's put on our lap she jumps off she's always trying to playfully bite and scratch when we try and stroke her she doesn't listen to us when we try and discipline her she's 8 weeks. I'm struggling to bond her because I get nervous of her when she is attacking our feet or hands I really don't know what to do! She's lovely but not what I expected her Will she change after she's spayed ? I'm so stuck

The Cats Protection website have some really useful information about kitten and cat care. The scratching might be because cats dont like having anything put on their fur including vets hands. Can you see where the vet put the flea treatment on and gently pull his fur apart to look at his skin just to see if it looks red or irritated. We would love to see pics of him

I don't know why the flea treatment would make him act differently but I wouldn't worry about it regardless.

Yes, boys should be neutered at four months. It's hard to say at what age they start to spray - but certainly not before four months.

I would say that if you take a sample of 1000 cats of both sexes, then you may find marginally more owners of boys reporting extreme soppiness than of girls. But it's marginal, and all cats are individuals and have individual characters and traits that have little to do with their sex.

Get some of the toys on string and long sticks and play with him with those. Saves your hands getting shredded.

Flying frenzy is a really good cat toy, nice and long too so you don’t get caught by claws.

The scratching may well just be him trying to remove whatever that strange stuff the vet put on him was - don't get worried unless he starts to look ill or lethargic, or throws up a lot.

Yep 4 months is the current recommended age for neutering, though some rescue centres do it as soon as the kitten reaches a certain weight. Of course you can't let them out until they've been "done", but TBH unless they are enormous I wouldn't let a kitten out at that age anyway for their own safety.

A cat will decide whether it will be affectionate or not! Some will adore some people and avoid others for no discernable reason, some will be absolute tarts with anybody, and some just not that sociable. But anecdotally, and in general, males do tend to be more often cuddly than females so you may have lucked out there.

I would suggest you read up on having kittens, there's loads of stuff on the internet about it. And remember that they are escape artists with a knack for vanishing!

Here he is!! I did call him Maia pronounced (Mya) but now I don't have a name

Kittens love hidey holes. You can put some cardboard boxes or shoe boxes out and create little tunnels to play in. Put a soft blanket in one for mid rush snoozing.

Oh my gosh, that patch on his nose is to die for! He is gorgeous!!!

@Oldestchild90s

Oh my gosh, that patch on his nose is to die for! He is gorgeous!!!

Thank you! I did want a boy originally but I didnt mind getting a girl instead turns out he's a boy now so what's meant to be I guess!! I am warming to him but I panic I'm not being the best I can be for him that's why I wrote the 1st post well the vet said he's healthy and happy so that's a good sign xxx

My boy cats are more affectionate than the girl ones

He's only been with you a week.....He's also on his own....I would only get kittens in pairs....

Some of my kittens have taken a couple of weeks to settle depending on the background they have come from and how much they've been handled or around people. Only 1 was affectionate from the moment he came home but he was 12 weeks and had been with a lovely fosterer as part of a large litter and I think he was just happy to have the attention all to himself for once

Boys are super soppy post neutering but super feisty pre neutering. The change is quite something.

As a general rule, a kitten will not want to sit on your lap very often and certainly won’t want to be placed there. You’re better off letting him come to you, when he wants too.

Play with him loads and not using your hands and feet. As others have said, you can’t (and shouldn’t really, because they can become fearful of you) discipline a cat, they cannot link their actions with the discipline so it doesn’t achieve anything. If he is rough with your hands you can make a sort of high pitched squeak to mimic the noise his littermates would have made, and then end the activity.

I’ve currently got 4 cats, none of which sat with me as kittens, and all of them are lappy now! Two of them spoon with me at night

He’s a cutie, I’m sure your bond will grow over time.

You want to discipline a CAT!! Good luck with that. I've never managed it in 19 years.
My cat disciplines me when I get out of line, I get a warning nip if she doesn't like something. I am properly well trained.
If you want to train something a dog would be best for you.

Aw he’s gorgeous! I have an almost 5 month old and he is super affectionate (still a nutter but a cuddle monster when he feels like it!) but was exactly as you describe at 8 weeks. Attack / zoom / sleep. They’re so funny, just enjoy him, he won’t be little forever. Echo what others said about dangly ‘wand’ toys, just wear him out when he’s on a mad one, there’s really nothing else you can do and it’ll save your feet! Little balls he can chase around too. I taught mine to fetch and I can wear him out nicely from the sofa now.

Name wise - Milo?

He's very cute.
Boys are sometimes more affectionate, my last boy cat was an absolute sweetie. Currently have 3 girls, 2 super affectionate most of the time, the other one mostly quite aloof but then will have 10 minutes of total love bombing.
Kittens have zero concept of 'no' and you're better just trying to steer them towards what you want, lots of fuss and treats to reward good behaviour.
One of my cats used to react with fury to any attempt at thwarting her!..but she's much more chilled now and is very snuggly.
Be patient and let the kitten come to you..
Most kittens are a bit scratchy, so play with toys rather than your hands.

Mycroft.

OP my kitten is 15 weeks. Sleep, eat, play repeat is pretty much it. I’ve found that if he takes any interest in my hands or feet at all I keep them very still (suffered the kitten nibs for the first week) then distract with toys, games etc. 3rd week here and no more nibbing as digits are boring. As for cuddles he loves a cuddle but only if he decides.

Your kitten is gorgeous! How about Mike as a name?

Oh he is lovely. I have found boy cats to be soppier than girl cats. It really depends where you are in the country regarding age of neutering some say 4 months some say 6 months. He won’t start spraying before 6 months don’t worry.

Are you planning to have him as and indoor cat or allowing him outdoors? If outdoors don’t allow him out until he’s been neutered. If indoors I would seriously think about getting him a playmate. Two kittens are much much better than one, they entertain each other!

Other advice - get some scratching posts although even if you do they may prefer your furniture and wallpaper (I’m looking at you DCat3)

Oh and lastly prepare to be owned by a cat and forgive him for all the mischief he gets up to..

If I can remember rightly my first family Cat wasn't really an affectionate Cat, although she must've quite liked us because she went missing for 6 weeks after getting confused when she let out and went back to the old address. She turned up 6 weeks later starving hungry and thin as a rake. Our second family Cat ( mine I chose him) got bored of us ans probably all the shouty kids and so went off to find another family round the corner. They returned him when he was shot in his eye. We tried to keep him inside for a while but he pined to go out and go back to them. He lived out the rest of his Kitty years with them until the age of 18 and was happy and content. My Dad said even though they took him from us originally it still made him feel sad when he went missing and his new owners were out trawling the streets at all hours calling his name whilst looking for him. Our third family Cat very affectionate, loved cuddles but didn't much like children or new people she'd hide from them but us she adored. She would curl up on my knee every night whilst we watched tv and sleep on my bed. My Cat very very very affectionate. Has loved cuddles right from day one of me getting him. In fact if he had his way he would just have snuggles all day long with meal breaks in between. He'd come and sit on me whilst I was sat on the settee watching tv or reading and on a night he'd lay on my chest, put his 2 front paws around my neck and lay with his face against my cheek before going off to the end of the bed to sprawl out. Don't live there anymore. He stayed with my ex. Went back tonight and had half an hours worth of snuggles with him (the Cat not the ex) and my Dsis Cat is also affectionate and will happily sit on your knee if she's around when you are. I sometimes pop in during my break and if she's in she'll come and plank her self on my knee. She's also a feee spirit and disappears for days on end. Sometimes you'll see her other times you won't. Don't keep trying to put him on your knee. Let him come up on his own accord. Or if you do pick him up and put him on don't try and force him to stay. Yeah give him a few strokes and see where that takes you. After a few goes that might work to make him stay there a bit longer. Just think of them as toddlers or Babies. Some like to be held and are happy as Larry being held and comforted. Others are free spirits and like to run, roam and explore and probably don't appreciate