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Join our community of cat lovers on the Mumsnet Cat forum for kitten advice and help with cat behaviour.

Original poster

Rehome my new kittens?

61 replies

LimeLemonOrange · 21/06/2020 11:06

I'm trying to make a difficult decision today, whether to rehome my new kittens.

My older cat is not happy to have them in the house and it's impractical to keep them separate long term. The kittens need to be able to explore, not be trapped in one room.

I've tried intros but they were not successful. Last night my older cat was furious with me for having space swapped and had the kittens in my bedroom (usually my older cat's space). She growled and swiped at me and I felt a bit worried she might attack me in the night (she slept next to me last night).

In all honesty I'd rather rehome her and keep the kittens. She's a grumpy rescue cat and refuses to be picked up or groomed and her long fur gets very matted. I have to take her to be sedated to get the matted fur shaved off, and the vet always tells me off! I'm quite a softie and I wonder if someone who is more physically brave would be better able to don gloves and groom her.

Having said that, it feels very cruel to her to rehome her (she's ten), the kittens will more easily adapt to (and find) a new home, so I think the right thing to do is rehome them.

It's hard, the kids will be gutted, they love having kittens that are well socialised and can be stroked and picked up, unlike our older cat who looks nice but won't interact with them.

Any thoughts or advice? Would you rehome the kittens?

OP posts:
Finfintytint · 21/06/2020 11:08

Completely thoughtless to get kittens when you have an ageing rescue cat. I think you have to rehome the kittens.

ChampagneCommunist · 21/06/2020 11:08

How long have you had the kittens? Can you keep them in a different area of the house, initially?

sahbear · 21/06/2020 11:25

She will get used to them over time. 10 is not that old, you could have another 8 years yet. I don't think it's irresponsible and I think you just need to give them time to get used to each other. The kittens will learn to keep out of her way.
I do think you should work on the grooming though. Our cat will let us remove ticks if you let her eat cheese while you do it. Could you try something similar little and often?

CodenameVillanelle · 21/06/2020 11:26

You can't rehome the ten year old cat.

MagnoliaJustice · 21/06/2020 11:32

Don't rehome any of the cats. The older cat will eventually get used to the newcomers. Give her a chance!

Original poster
LimeLemonOrange · 21/06/2020 11:53

The kittens have been here a week. Not sure how long to give it before giving up? We're keeping the kittens totally separate apart from the disastrous supervised intros.

I've tried everything with grooming. A home groomer came to us when she was very matted, and said she's the only cat she's been unable to groom. I then took her to a groomer with two people, they managed to shave some of the matted fur off but then she became impossible.

The vet last year used general anaesthetic to do the job. This year's vet used sedation but said it didn't touch the sides and she was still very difficult.

I've tried using thick gloves, treats, doing it at different times etc but she is resolutely against it. But I am quite scared of her! I wonder if someone more brave could manage maintenance grooming with gloves when she isn't matted.

OP posts:
Flutterpieandpinkieshy · 21/06/2020 12:11

Hi OP.

You've had the kittens for a week, if they're very small keep them confined to a couple of rooms in the house for the time being where your adult cat doesn't loiter much.

Use a blanket or item that has the kittens scent on it and then place it in a room with the adult. Let her get accustomed to the new scent.

If she's been on her own for this long she's going to need time to adjust, cats are creatures of habit, they hate change... That doesn't necessarily mean they won't accept a change.

Once she's used to the scent of the kittens (after a couple of days) introduce them via a closed door, where they can see one another and smell one another beneath the gap in the door.

After a few days just let the kittens roam free. They will each establish their own spots.

NC4Now · 21/06/2020 12:13

A week is still early days

ThickFast · 21/06/2020 12:15

I’d keep trying for a bit. Has your old cat got a space that is just hers? Maybe your bedroom could be an option. If she’s not that friendly anyway she might not mind keeping herself to herself a bit.

GetawayfromthatWelshtart · 21/06/2020 12:30

Hi OP. I've lived with numerous cats since a baby (my mum was a collector of the unloved and unwanted) and a week is NOTHING for cats and kittens to get used to each other.

We had a VERY grumpy long haired rescue cat (had been abused and neglected) who hated any newcomer (and most people) BUT we never rehomed her or any of the strays mum took in BECAUSE they will, over time get used to each other.

This can be from the older cat just ignoring the kittens and telling them to bugger off to sleeping on each other like a pile of fur balls and anything in between.

Each kitten and cat is different. You just happen to have a grumpy older cat, nothing wrong with that and no reason to get rid of her!

After doing what Flutterpie said let the kittens roam about. Also MAKE sure your older cat has several safe places to hide from the kittens. Somewhere high up that grumpy cat can get to so they have a safe place (or rather our grumpy cat used to hide in my mums wardrobe)

Also nothing wrong with grumpy cat giving the kittens a swipe every now and then. Kittens have to learn boundries when it comes to other cats and this is how they learn. Even mum cats will give them a swipe every now and then when they get too rough.

If you rehome grumpy cat then all that will happen is she will be moved from home to home to home because of how she is or end up in a shelter where she won't be adopted or end up in a kill shelter.

With regards brushing we found getting a proper comb for long hair cats and started off using it on her head and chin whilst feeding her tasty treats (ham.. god she LOVED ham!). We were VERY gentle so it was more like a nice brush. Also wear long sleeved tops if you are frightened she will swipe at you.

We used to do this away from all the other pets so she was alone and chilled out. After several months we could brush her all over but we did have to buy LOTS of ham JUST for her. And after about 6 months we could even cut off any clumps.

It just takes time and patience.

fishonabicycle · 21/06/2020 12:31

Try a bit longer - and get the feliway friends plug in. I had a 5 year old boy cat when we got a rescue girl kitten 4 years ago. He didn't like her at all - always hissed when he saw her (despite doing all the careful introduction thing). However, since we started with feliway last December, I've only heard him hiss once, and they sometimes even play together. He doesn't ever hurt her, although she loves annoying him, so I feel he is actually quite tolerant now (any other cat who strays into his path gets attacked).

Pelleas · 21/06/2020 12:33

In my experience it takes at least three weeks of very gradual, staged contact to introduce new cats to a point where they tolerate one another.

bodgeitandscarper · 21/06/2020 12:34

It can take months for them to get used to newcomers, google Jackson
Galaxy for tips on introductions. Please don't consider rehoming your older cat, it's not her fault shes had a tough life and finds grooming painful, cats are very sensitive. I'm sure Jackson Galaxy will have tips on grooming too.
Feliway do a diffuser called Friends specifically for introductions which may help, but you need to be patient, it wont be solved in a week.

littlebillie · 21/06/2020 12:36

It takes a few weeks, I would take a handtowel and stoke the cat and kittens, their scent will reduce tension quickly. I did it a few times a day and it really helped.

BovaryX · 21/06/2020 12:38

In all honesty I'd rather rehome her and keep the kittens. She's a grumpy rescue cat and refuses to be picked up or groomed and her long fur gets very matted

How long have you had her? Are the kittens hers?

Original poster
LimeLemonOrange · 21/06/2020 12:39

Thanks for all the posts, it's good to hear from those with experience.

Sounds like I'm expecting it to be ok too quickly.

I've done all the scent swapping and intros through doors - grumpy older cat just hisses and growls.

I'll try again with the food bowls either side of the door (recommended in the Jackson video).

I'm not sure how I'll know when it's safe to let the kittens roam free - at the moment I feel sure she'd attack them.

OP posts:
Original poster
LimeLemonOrange · 21/06/2020 12:41

BovaryX we've had her 5 years.

No, the kittens aren't hers.

OP posts:
MaudesMum · 21/06/2020 13:32

I introduced a perky kitten to an older grumpy long-haired cat, and three years later, the older cat still gets pissed off with the younger one - but to be fair it is usually because the younger one winds her up. The house is big enough for them each to have their own space, and neither of them have resorted to pissing outside their litter boxes at any point or trying to leave home, so I'm not too bothered. When I got the kitten, the incredibly sensible lady who ran the rescue pointed out that kittens can get under/into spaces that a grown up cat can't, so I shouldn't get too worried about big cat attacking little cat. So, after a period of trying to keep them apart and doing the scent on either side of the door thing, I left them to get on with it. The little cat did spend some time darting under a book-case, as I remember...

thecatneuterer · 21/06/2020 18:22

You haven't given it anything like enough time. It could take a couple of months for things to settle down. Your existing cat will accept them in time.

HelmutShmacker · 21/06/2020 18:26

Does she let you pet her OP? It think it's early days to be thinking of rehoming the kittens. Sorry I don't really have any decent advice but I hope your older cat warms up to them soon!

Motherwifesisterfriendwomen · 21/06/2020 21:49

How many kittens? Many moons ago we rehomed a grumpy snob of a cat. Anyways we looked after a friends cat while she was in hospital and we.just let both of them have free rain of the house fed the same time space etc. Apart from both getting fluffy and yelling at each other at first. Both seemed happy.

sweetkitty · 21/06/2020 21:58

We had a very grumpy older cat and would have loved kittens but as we already got a puppy when he was 14 felt it wasn’t fair to inflict kittens on him too. I think he went a bit senile as he got older and actually liked us a bit better. He died aged 17. We know have 3 new maniacs.

Tootsey11 · 21/06/2020 22:12

Op please give it time. I have a litter of 3 rescued boys 8 weeks old, and 9 other cats living here of all ages. It's been 2 weeks and 2 of the cats have now accepted the kittens. Both older males about 8-10 years old. The rest of the cats are growling and taking swipes at the kittens. I'm not separating any of them. I do keep an eye on any disagreements, but the kittens have learned quickly who is friendly and who to avoid. Please give it as much time as is needed. They will learn to not like each other but to be tolerant. Here is two of the little ones.

Rehome my new kittens?
Maxamill · 21/06/2020 22:27

I agree with what everyone else says about it being too soon, my eldest cat is lovely and placid but she too was not happy when we got a kitten. She hissed and made awful sounds, I kept the kitten in a large dog crate (it was huge) so she could get used to her being there but couldn't get to her and the kitten had everything inside (bed, bowls, litter tray, toys etc) and would let her out when we were around to supervise. It took a good month if not longer for my eldest cat to accept her but she did and they absolutely love each other, they will sleep together on the bed and run around playing.

Try not to worry OP, give it a good amount of time they will get used to each other I'm sure!

Original poster
LimeLemonOrange · 21/06/2020 23:25

Thanks so much for good advice and thoughts, and sharing your experiences, I feel better having read all your posts.

The two little beauties are curled up asleep on me now, and I feel more confident that they'll all learn to live with each other eventually.

OP posts:
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