Rehome my new kittens?

[LimeLemonOrange]

I'm trying to make a difficult decision today, whether to rehome my new kittens.

My older cat is not happy to have them in the house and it's impractical to keep them separate long term. The kittens need to be able to explore, not be trapped in one room.

I've tried intros but they were not successful. Last night my older cat was furious with me for having space swapped and had the kittens in my bedroom (usually my older cat's space). She growled and swiped at me and I felt a bit worried she might attack me in the night (she slept next to me last night).

In all honesty I'd rather rehome her and keep the kittens. She's a grumpy rescue cat and refuses to be picked up or groomed and her long fur gets very matted. I have to take her to be sedated to get the matted fur shaved off, and the vet always tells me off! I'm quite a softie and I wonder if someone who is more physically brave would be better able to don gloves and groom her.

Having said that, it feels very cruel to her to rehome her (she's ten), the kittens will more easily adapt to (and find) a new home, so I think the right thing to do is rehome them.

It's hard, the kids will be gutted, they love having kittens that are well socialised and can be stroked and picked up, unlike our older cat who looks nice but won't interact with them.

Any thoughts or advice? Would you rehome the kittens?

I don't think you need to rehome anybody - it's only been a week!
We have 13 cats of all different ages so experience of lots of introductions - and even the ones that hated each other at first have (grudgingly) accepted each other eventually!
The tabby and white one is one of our oldest and grumpiest, she was most put out when I found a stray feisty kitten hanging around my work and brought it home - several years later that's the same kitten she is now using as a pillow!

@Tootsey11 Your kittens are adorable, I'm getting broody but already have plenty of cats

Wow, 13 cats! Lovely!

It's great to hear that they've all accepted each other eventually.

I don’t mean to be rude but you sound very unfeeling and quite irresponsible.
You’ve had the kittens for a week and already want to rehome them? And you also don’t really like your older cat? Wtf.
There are lots and lots of things which you could have done and can still do to have a harmonious cat household, a week is nothing. And your first idea is to rehome the kittens? Haven’t you done any research at all? Tried Feliway, getting them extra resources so no one has to share if they want to, etc. So many things.

A week is far too soon to be thinking of rehoming. Keep kittens confined to one room for three weeks. Put scented blanket of old cat in with them and scented blanket of kittens in with old cat.

You need two people to groom a cat like yours. Both wear garden gloves. Put tea towel around cat and hold very firmly keeping paws tightly bound in to cats body. Sit cat on lap. Second person go behind cat and start with tail. Then lower back. Use a metal comb and a dog detangle spray. Next day do a bit more. Never spend more than 5-10 mins. Give cat dreamies while grooming. Do head and under chin next day. Leave tummy until last. Why does your cat not groom itself? I have 3 long haired cats and groom 2 each day. 1 is not keen on having tummy groomed. All just cuddle up with me and purr when I am grooming them. It only takes me 5-10 mins per cat each day. 1 cat has fur 2 inches long. If you do it everyday they get used to it. If you dread doing it and put it off it will get far worse. I am surprised a vet would give general anaesthetic which carries risk for cat just to groom.

How selfish of you. You've brought in two kittens to a home with an established cat - what did you think was going to happen? Cats - as a general rule - prefer to live alone

As to what you do now is anyone's guess. Keep trying I suppose. I'd personally rehome the kittens and not do this again

I've had up to 8 cats living together over the years. Personally I don't believe in staged intros. By keeping the newcomers separate you're making them a big deal because the established cat will know they're there and if you make them a big deal the cat will react to the big deal.
All my cats have been rescued and came with their own hang-ups and insecurities. Some have been tiny kittens and some mature adults, but every time I've brought a new one home I've just put the cat basket down in the hall, opened the door so it can come out, and walked away and left them all to get on with it. Yes there have been scraps, yowls and scuffles, youngsters being batted by elders occasionally etc., but it is just the pack establishing its heirarchy, territories etc. and they have to do that on their own. There have never been injuries and it always results in a happy feline family. I should add that there have always been two or three dogs in the mix too!

My older cat still isn't a fan of the kittens and they are nearly a year old.

She just avoids them, or gives them a swipe if she feels they are being too annoying

Same here, I brought two kittens into a house with two older cats, they will get used to each other over time. Be patient and lots of treats all together might help. Mine mostly adore each other now and if anything, it's the two older ones that don't get on that well, they are mother and daughter from rescue and have never been separated!!

Feliway plugs all over the house and if the kits are big enough let them out to play. Getting swiped is normal for kittens that’s how they learn.

We’ve got two rescues under a year old currently and they happily fit right in. They were tiny when we got them, they’d been removed from their mum too soon their eyes hadn’t even changed colour. So we kept them apart from the others till they were bigger and had their vaccinations. Then everyone was left to get on with it.

Our eldest cat needs reassurance he’s the most loved, so we need to fuss him and treat him initially when the kits were let loose.

Now everyone gets on and our standoffish adult female cat will even let the kits follow her when she goes on her travels, she even stayed with one of the kits when he couldn’t jump back to our garden one evening and she defended him against some foxes!

We used to have an ASBO cat who wouldn’t let us comb his fur he had matted fur in places and we’d have to use a combination of treats, soothing gentle voice talking to him and just holding him firmly and brushing. He’d try and eat the brush. Once groomed he’d then sit and groom himself pretending he’d done it all (in between meowing profanities at us). He eventually treated it like a game and sometimes even let us groom him other times he’d try to kill the brush. You have to not be scared tho, cats know if you’re scared.

Your old cat needs some safe space, away from the kittens and if that is your bed so be it.

Make 'walkways' between cat and kitten areas so they don't have to cross, you can do this with book shelves and seats or even boxes.

Get a felliway plug.

Just echoing what others have said.

My 'kittens' are nearly 4 now and our grumpy cat still occasionally hisses at them if she's in a bad mood.

The kittens will quickly figure out not to bother her and play with each other.

My grumpy girl now sometimes likes them and will sleep next to them and wash their heads and sometimes hisses and gives them a bat around the head. They never quite know what they're in for but the boy 'kitten' (now a 9kg panther like thing) adores her!

Yes keep them contained for a few weeks and let them out slowly and in small bursts. Our cats hated our kitten but they came around. They love each other now. Also I watched a YouTube video how to introduce cats to a kitten and it was very gradual. Many great ideas there.

It takes months for an older cat to get used to kittens. Buns took 4-5 months before she would allow the kitten (now died aged 14) near her and ruined a good sofa by pissing on it in a rage.
They were never great friends after that but would tolerate each other with the odd hiss from her.
She's still here aged 19 and there is no way I'd introduce her to another cat at her age.
You need to give her a few months really.
It's a shame I don't have any vacancies as I adopt older grumpy cats. There are people that do but you have to wait and keep her at home while you wait.

Thanks all who've posted with helpful stories, experiences and tips.

I panicked initially because I had no idea of the timescale - the online research I'd done had told me the intro steps but not how long the accepting would take. I'd also read some stuff online about cats not accepting new cats and having to rehome in that situation, so I thought that could apply to me.

I've kept them entirely separate since posting, but have taken various steps outlined in the Jackson video, swapping their spaces and putting their food bowls either side of a door so they can smell each other while they eat.

Today one of the kittens farted into the dining room which grumpy cat mainly lives in, she immediately had her face up against his, growling at him, I panicked and moved him out. But then it felt a good moment to let contact continue so I opened a couple of doors and let grumpy cat watch the kittens from the dining room while they played in a doorway across the hall from that room.

It was good to see that she didn't run over and savage them!

I'll try and build up contact from now on, but I'm still quite anxious about how it will play out. Grumpy cat sees the dining room as her territory, but eventually the kittens will need to walk through this room to get to the cat flap. Also I'd like to be able to feed all of them in that room too. So I hope we can gradually progress to that.

Darted not farted! Stupid autocorrect!

Your typo made my giggle, I'd growl too!

It all sounds normal so far, she'll come around eventually!

I cannot believe you are thinking of rehoming your elderly cat ??
It has been 1 week??
Shocked.

Why have a cat that you can't even brush? It doesn't sound much of a pet more like a stray.

Why have a cat that you can't even brush? It doesn't sound much of a pet more like a stray.

What a stupid comment. Not all cats let you brush them. I can't brush mine for more than a couple of minutes (and that's only if he's in a good mood) but he's definitely not a stray!

@PinkSparklyPussyCat

Why have a cat that you can't even brush? It doesn't sound much of a pet more like a stray.

What a stupid comment. Not all cats let you brush them. I can't brush mine for more than a couple of minutes (and that's only if he's in a good mood) but he's definitely not a stray!

If your cat is in the state the the OP describes her cat to be In than I'm afraid your the stupid one as it basically describes a stray feral cat. Not a loving pet.

When are you going to admit you've made an error here? Your poor older cat didn't want this in her home.

You're completely at fault

And she doesn't just see the dining room as her territory. It IS her territory. Do you have no idea how territorial cats are?

If your cat is in the state the the OP describes her cat to be In than I'm afraid your the stupid one as it basically describes a stray feral cat. Not a loving pet.

Said someone who has never encountered a true feral!

So what if the cat doesn't want to be brushed or stroked? What business is it of yours what other people's pets are like?
Providing the cat is happy in its environment and cared for it deserves a home as much as any other cat. Cats come in all temperaments, just like people. Doesn't mean they don't need a loving home.

I really feel sorry for your rescue cat. You don't sound like a true animal liver at all and you're already favouring the kittens.

You should try to imagine and empathise that your rescue cat may have been abused hence why she doesn't like being groomed.

I'm a vet nurse and had cats for over 30yrs multi cat households.....trust me she may NEVER get used to the kittens but frankly that's your fault for not properly thinking this through.

Poor rescue cat!