Does my cat like me/her life at all?

[ShowOfHands]

I've never had a cat like her. She doesn't miaow and rarely purrs, certainly not to display contentment. She almost never lets me touch her. Sometimes she likes me to rub her cheeks and will push her head against my fingers and seek more of it and occasionally, I can scritch her back and she preens and stretches into it but only for 10 seconds maximum. Mostly, if I reach for her, she will bite me whilst purring or swipe/scratch me. She sleeps right next to my legs at night, all night, but won't sit near or on me at any other time. If she's hungry, she will stand on me and stare straight at me until I feed her but it's the only time she'll climb on me.

She ignores everybody else entirely and hides from any visitors. So her entire human interaction is standing on me until I feed her or trying to bite me if I move my hand while she happens to be near me. Oh and if she hasn't seen me for a little while, she will roll around on the floor in front of me but I am not permitted to touch her. She does "look" for me and if I'm in the bath for instance, she'll come and watch me silently for a while, climb on the side and peer at the water and then wanders off. She has to know where I am but has no interest in being with me, she just follows/checks what I'm doing and then saunters off.

I'm just sitting here idly musing and wondering if she's completely miserable and quite why she deigns to live with us when she seems to find our existence fairly contemptible.

I know what the answer is BTW. She's a cat. Logic doesn't apply but I do genuinely wonder if she's happy.

I started writing the 'she's a cat' reply, then deleted after i saw the last bit 😂

I have 4 cats, my oldest is like this (shes 2) she picks and chooses when she wants minimal attention from me and it's definitely on her terms only. She dabs me to stop stroking her, tries to scratch or bite if i do it for too long and if i'm in her personal space at any point her tail will swish like mad and i know she's pissed.

It's just her personality, if you treat your cat well, feed her and give her as much as you can she should be content even though she doesn't show it. That's what i like to think about mine anyway 😀

Aww I like your last paragraph.

I do feel a bit sad when visiting friends and their cats leap straight onto my lap, purr, knead, beg for love etc. A cat in the street yesterday was winding in and out of my legs and purring like a drill. Then I get home and my cat rolls her eyes and wanders into a different room.

None of mine are really lap cats, 2 are very affectionate though and 2 aren't but that's life! Oh i feel the same, weirdly enough she actually falls asleep in my other half's arms, jumps onto his shoulders, but she just won't come near me..

I MUST BE THE PROBLEM 😂

But we treat them like royalty so what more can you do? Your cat knows she's got it good trust me 😻

My last cat- totally adored, loved to death & I was devastated when he died- never sat on or near us at all. Would let me stoke him IF he was in the mood. Totally indifferent. Just meowed like mad at the doorway when he wanted food like I was his slave. i lived to hear him purr.

New rescue cat. Can not ever pick her up for risk of losing a limb. Took months but she eventually started to sit near me, then would occasionally let me stoke her when she deigned to suffer my contact. She has a radiator bed downstairs that she loves to sleep on (one of 3 beds) eventually got I one for upstairs in my bedroom too as I was worried about her & wanted to entice her near. Several months on she meows at a certain time when she wants us to go up to bed. She sleeps mostly in her radiator bed in my room until a mad time, at say 5am, when she jumps on me and purrs wanting me to stroke her, just for 5 mins then she jumps back in her bed.
Now 11 months one she will sit on my knees. BUT, I have always left her alone and let her come to me when she feels ready. DS constantly tries to stroke her, get her attention, wants to go to her- she avoids him like the plague. As soon as he comes towards her her she darts off under a chair to hide.
Cats are such independent creatures, they will come to you when they need you. The fact that they stick around to let you feed then, rather than finding some other slave, shows you they love you

my rescue boy is a bit cagey. got him at 6 months, he’s 3 now. in the last 8 months (since i left my ex and moved house brining the cat with me) he’s become VERY vocal, trilling and purring like a train. he also shouts if i leave the room.

we love each other very much. but he is his own cat. he’ll come to me for affection but it’s very coy - i have to gently stroke a tiny bit of his cheek, then a bit more, then a bit more...and he’s sat on my lap precisely once. he will not tolerate being picked up.

honestly, the thing he loves the most is having his tail pulled.

cats are batshit.

to clarify, i meant bringing the cat with me.

no cats have been brined in the making of this internet post.

I leave her alone entirely unless she comes and stands on me. She's lived with us for 3 and a half years now. This seems to be who she is. At least she acknowledges I exist. She ignores every other living soul. I do wonder why I contort myself in bed so she has room to sleep by my left calf without being disturbed when she is entirely indifferent to me or tries to bite/scratch me if I accidentally pass her in the hall.

honestly, the thing he loves the most is having his tail pulled

cats are batshit

About sums it up!

She is sitting by my feet staring at me. Note the imperious expression.

I'm very very sorry OP. But if there was ever a cat plotting its owners downfall, it's the one in your last post.

Hopefully not your last post ever .

But a gorgeous cat.. she has to be forgiven!

I've got one of those OP. So many of us in the same boat. Your girl is very haughty looking, but that's her prerogative, and there's nothing you can do about it . She's a beauty. The absolute honesty of cats is what I love about them. They just don't bullshit you or waste your time. This is my girl. She's not aggressive, but she spends a lot of time on her own, sleeps by my legs, doesn't like visitors, I call her the upstairs cat😻

Can you feel her purring if you touch her throat?. I can imagine you’ll be nervous to check.

It took my departed boy 6 or 7 years to sit on dh lap and he shot me evils the whole time.

If she wasn’t happy she would have moved out long ago! Cats are just weirdos.

Loving the photos of haughty beautiful cats!

Took mine months before I could touch them at all, and around 18 months before I realised that Girlcat would purr silently (could feel it in her throat).

4 years down the line and neither will yet sit on my lap, though Boycat has turned into a complete cuddle monster beside me on the bed or next to me on the sofa (on "his" end only, he won't sit next to where I usually sit). Girlcat has started in the last couple of months to slither between me & the back of the sofa, so I need to turn sideways with one leg up so she can use that as a pillow when I stroke her tummy - VERY big on belly rubs my 2!

My eldest cat has been with us for 13 years. She doesn't do affection unless you are in the downstairs loo at which point she yells to join you and wants to sit on your lap. She won't be picked up, lives in the utility room (where she has a heat pad and a duvet nest) unless it is sunny and warm when she rolls around in front of the house inviting you to fuss her tummy at which point you are bitten for your pains.
She's very happy as far as I can tell, she just doesn't have much time for humans unless you are opening the cat food of choice so she can have one mouthful and then walk off

Some cats are just like that. One of mine is very friendly, almost like a dog, he positively seeks out attention and petting; the other one interacts with me only at mealtimes - like yours she stares at me intently until I feed her. Only I do feeding, but clearly that is my (only) role.

I am not allowed to stroke or pet her, she ducks away from my hand. I can just about pick her up for visits to the vet. However, my DS is allowed to pick her up and cuddle her and the cattery say she is one of the cuddliest cats who visits them. Cats are strange.

She is rather beautiful. She doesn't sit on the sofa at all. She has a bed in the corner of the snug and sleeps in there if we're on the sofa but gets antsy once it's bedtime and wants us to go to bed. She then sits on my windowsill for twenty minutes chirruping at anything that deigns to pass, sniffs my glass of water and then curls up next to my left calf. In the early hours, she buggers off out for a while before coming and standing on me at 7am until I feed her. I've no clue what she gets out of living with us bar regular meals.

@Want2beme beautiful cat. Euphrasie is an upstairs cat. She rarely comes downstairs but is in the conservatory right now watching the rabbit tearing round the lawn. She could go out and join in but she prefers to snootily watch from a distance.

I have one cat that actively detests me. Not in that she'll attack me or hiss at me or anything - it's more a disappointed sigh when she walks into room and I'm there, or an eye roll when I talk to her, or a shudder of disgust when she realises I'm the one that's going to feed her. She winces if i touch her or she has to walk past me like she's used to me kicking her or something. Last night she came into the bedroom and squeaked that she wanted to go out, so I opened the bathroom window and waited for her to come back as she ran off as soon as I got up - she came back, scuttled past me, went to jump out of the window and then gave me a look of horror because obviously I'd arranged for it to rain. We had a stand off where I suggested I might need to close the window rather than leave it open all night and she sat frozen in terror that I was within 3 foot of her. Anyway I shut the window and went back to bed, she waited 5 mins and then came back in at which point DH turned his light on and the little cow burst into a cacophony of purring with delight that her lord and master had awoken. And he responded by putting her into the hallway and slamming the door in her face! I am the only one that is nice to her - DD is constantly shoving her out of her room and complaining she's been followed around again and she still looks at her like she's made of tuna.

We have 6 cats in our house. 3 belong to my adult son, 1 to my dh and 2 are mine. They all have different personalities. My son has a large male cat, Marcus, who will come to me for affection several times each day and loves to have a tummy rub, yet my son is lucky if he gets to stroke him. His oldest cat Mystique, will only go to him for affection and when he is at work sits outside his room a lot of time. His kitten, Molly May, is shy but will come to all of us for affection. My 2 cats are both very affectionate, 1 cat Magic, will go to anyone in house for affection and purrs all if the time. My other cat Maggie sits on me whenever i sit down and purrs loudly. My dh cat, Maigret, is shy and only occasionally goes to anyone for a stroke. I assumed they like me as i feed them mostly. I am also home all day so more available. My dh gets a bit miffed because only Magic goes to him for affection. We have had Magic and Maggie from birth and they were handled daily by me from 2 weeks old. I think this has made them more affectionate with me. If kittens are not handled by humans until 8 weeks they take longer to trust humans. Cats like those who feed them. Cats pick their favourite person regardless of who owns them.

OP I believe you have the lesser know haughty tortie breed, a lot rarer than the more common naughty tortie

You've described Girlcat to a T! She self-isolates beautifully. She's DD's cat, barely interacts with anyone else in the house. She doesn't purr out loud but you can feel her throat vibrating. Bites first and asks questions afterwards. She doesn't meow apart from when it is absolutely necessary.

She is fabulous in her utter disdain. She'd be played by Maggie Smith in full Downton Abbey mode.

OP she is indeed very beautiful. I bet she has fur like velvet. NW2SW shows great understanding. Euphrasie (great name) is tortoiseshell. They have a certain....err....attitude? Sometimes called tortitude!