Does my cat like me/her life at all?

[ShowOfHands]

I've never had a cat like her. She doesn't miaow and rarely purrs, certainly not to display contentment. She almost never lets me touch her. Sometimes she likes me to rub her cheeks and will push her head against my fingers and seek more of it and occasionally, I can scritch her back and she preens and stretches into it but only for 10 seconds maximum. Mostly, if I reach for her, she will bite me whilst purring or swipe/scratch me. She sleeps right next to my legs at night, all night, but won't sit near or on me at any other time. If she's hungry, she will stand on me and stare straight at me until I feed her but it's the only time she'll climb on me.

She ignores everybody else entirely and hides from any visitors. So her entire human interaction is standing on me until I feed her or trying to bite me if I move my hand while she happens to be near me. Oh and if she hasn't seen me for a little while, she will roll around on the floor in front of me but I am not permitted to touch her. She does "look" for me and if I'm in the bath for instance, she'll come and watch me silently for a while, climb on the side and peer at the water and then wanders off. She has to know where I am but has no interest in being with me, she just follows/checks what I'm doing and then saunters off.

I'm just sitting here idly musing and wondering if she's completely miserable and quite why she deigns to live with us when she seems to find our existence fairly contemptible.

I know what the answer is BTW. She's a cat. Logic doesn't apply but I do genuinely wonder if she's happy.

Our male will revell in DD stroking him , bite my DS ( grabbing with teeth not breaking skin) and give me a dirty look if I try to strke him "Don't touch me woman, I do not give permission".
He drools when DD strokes him, like he's hypnotised .

Our female will walk over my arms if I'm on the PC, bite my skin (again applying teeth not bite ) like she's trying to lift my arm.
Stretch out in an arch but we know we are not invited to touch The Belly.

It is very much "You cannot take more than I am prepared to give" .

I think the tortoiseshell "Nortie Tortie" is very much in evidence (our old girl was a tortoiseshell/white ) they are very My Way or the Highway cats

@TheLongRider yes yes yes to Maggie Smith. Perfect.

She isn't a naughty tortie at all, not in the way I've heard it described. She is the easiest cat ever. Never had an accident, never destroyed anything, is utterly silent, unobtrusive. She was handled from birth and never been mistreated, came to us at 12 weeks and is a much loved girl. She is definitely Haughty not Naughty. She's just been and rolled in front of me (I went out so she has to check in) and I've been permitted to touch her throat and stroke her head three times before her tail started to whip and she stiffened. Her throat DOES vibrate when I touch her. Is she purring? Is she content?

Ive loved hearing about your cats and their idiosyncrasies. All my friends are on FB moaning (bragging) that their cats are snuggled on them and they can't possibly move and I am stuck with disdainful glances and eye rolls. It's reassuring that it's not just me.

My three were super cuddly lap cats up until lockdown. Now they are thoroughly pissed off with having us around all day every day 😭😭 and spend all their time trying to hide from us 😭😭

If her throats vibrating she’s purring. As pp said she hasn’t moved out and she sleeps next to you so she likes you enough.

Is your house always very warm? I found mine was a love bug before the heating went on. Summer I could forget about lap snuggles.

If her throats vibrating she’s purring.

This.

Yes she loves you OP! The co-sleeping and checking where you are is natural cat language for 'family'

Cats have to be socialised to human contact as kittens (before around 6 weeks old) so if she didn't have early human contact or had indifferent/unpredictable contact that may explain it. Alternatively she may just be a catty-cat. Petting-induced aggression is a totally normal cat behaviour too so don't take this personally.

When she comes and stares at you practice blinking slowly and deliberately at her. This is cat-language for 'I am your friend' see if she'll blink/squint her eyes back at you

She doesn't meow apart from when it is absolutely necessary

our female does a single "meow" as supper/breakfast is placed on their mat .
Cannot decide if it's "Thank You Cat Servant" or "About time too, you slacker"

I always think of cats like people. So many different personalities. Some people are confident, some shy, some introverts, some extroverts etc.
Cats are the same. Some are lap cats, some are sociable and others hide away and don't care for attention or people. Maybe their life experience makes them that way. Who knows. I had a cat similar to yours. I just went along with her terms of the deal and did what she wanted when she wanted. I loved her regardless and she made me see how cats are just like people. She has a firm place in my heart. She was so different to my other cats but I knew she loved. You just know.

She's a "next to" cat.

I would regularly swap for mine, I sometimes get claustrophobic due to the amount of cuddling, sitting one me, stroking, shoulder riding they do. They get shut away at nice so I can have some space!

Our old girl ( who was a 2yo rescue, lived to be 17 and tolerated my DC) was very much a Next To cat

She's curl up in a croissant shape between DH and I on the bed
She'd sit on the arm of the chair beside us
Or on the newspaper we were trying to read
Pull a handwash jumper that was drying flat onto the floor just to sit on it
Walk in with dirty paws to seek me out if I was wearing a light coloured skirt/trousers and walk on me

Little git .

We had a cat a bit like yours. Didn’t purr much, didn’t sit on our knees etc but she was incredibly well looked after, well fed and very loved. Our present cat is the complete opposite- very affectionate and loving and always purring, yet they were treated exactly the same! They’ve all got their own individual little personalities and in some ways I think it’s good to have a more independent cat that’s not as needy, as you can go about your business without them trying to get your attention/pester you for affection!

Sounds a bit like my rescue cat who we've had for 7 weeks. At first he actually was very affectionate. He'd fall asleep on top of me, was always extremely friendly. Now he's become less so strangely. He lets me stroke him whilst he's purring but will suddenly bite me for no reason! He sometimes sits next to me on the sofa but often finds a quiet place to sit in another room, away from everyone. I think he does like me. He often follows me around, sits outside the bathroom while I have a shower etc. He's just rather aloof. I do think he's happy. He used to be a stray. Apart from being a bit aloof he seems very comfortable here.

Oh she's an absolute beauty!!!

My cat doesn’t seem to like me much either much of the time. He sometimes likes to sit ‘near’ me. So long as I don’t look at him or try and touch him. But then sometimes he likes em to stroke him and he has the loudest purr in the world. Never meows. Rubs himself up against dh in the mornings but bites me. His favourite is ds thoigh. Happiest being carried around like the giant fur baby he is. And sleeping on his bed while he’s in there. He just loves him. I think he’s a mans cat. He’s not interested in dd either. Weird. Here he is cuddling ds’s arm. He’s often gazing up at him and sometimes gently puts his paws on his face. Cute

My three little madams btw. Gomez Morticia and Wednesday. All female. All previously cuddly. All seriously pissed off with humans by now 😭😭

Excellent names Swampytiggaa!
My rescue is very much affectionate on his own terms... Nothing like our old snugglers. He sleeps on our bed, tolerates face rubs, then bites when he has had enough. BUT, he always wants to be in the same room as us, follows us around the village and yowls if we are walking too fast! He's a weird cat-aren't they all?

i will now pay the traditional Cat Tax with a picture of a bowl with a cat in it.

I read your OP and wondered if she was a tortie!!
If you are permitted then you’re winning.

I genuinely believe my old man would prefer it if he just had a robot to wait on him. I'm his first choice when he wants something, and he completely trusts us all, he isn't nervous he just doesn't see the point in our existence or affection. He will occasionally tolerate a light stroke behind one ear, but that's it, he tolerates it, and has no interest in human company, if we're in the room we are no more than furniture. He's had a tough life mostly, so I think from his point of view we are there to provide and help him, but nothing more.

The girls are the opposite. The one I weaned is cuddly with us, and loves company, being carried round etc, but a bit like a spoilt child if you displease her. Won't let strangers near her though.

The ex feral is definitely all mine though. Dp and dc are allowed to stroke her, and she's not really into me carrying her or sitting on knees. But although it isn't as immediately obvious as the other girl, she's the more affectionate of the two, she just loves my company and being next to me, whatever I'm doing. We've always had ferals and they've always been welcome in the house, but with her it was more she wanted to stay with me, rather than the comfort and warmth previous ferals have come in for.

I have a similar cat. He’s very happy. Despite his lack of obvious affection, we spend lots of time playing and he’s been willing to work on his loud noise issues with me. We do everything at his pace. I wish sometimes he was a lap cat, but I love that he trusts me. For a cat, and a human, that’s love.

I'm loving all these stories and pictures. I've grown up with cats and all of them were pretty soppy and happy to have a cuddle. Euphrasie is so self contained and aloof. I love it really but have odd moments of worrying that she'd be happier elsewhere. DH pointed out earlier that if I call her, she comes running (and stands and stares at me before wandering off again). No other person, ever, has managed to get her to even look at them. So we must have some sort of a bond.

I'm going to try slowly blinking at her tomorrow!

My old cat never audibly purred or meowed, except for the later years in his life when he would purr very quietly.
He would only tolerate a short period of interaction before he got twitchy about it.
In his later years (about three years before I had to have him PTS ), I discovered that he absolutely loved belong held in my arms and cuddled like a baby on his back, having never come to sit on me / my legs for more than a few seconds before this (he wouldn't even lay down).
Cats are strange beings!
She probably loves you to death, but in typical cat fashion, doesn't want to let you know about it.