Really stressed. New cat has gone behind/under kitchen cabinet again!!

[SallyWD]

I posted on Saturday regarding our new rescue cat who went under the kitchen cabinet through a tiny gap and wouldn't come out. We eventually had to dismantle the cupboards, smash a hole in the back of the cupboard and drag him out. It was highly stressful for him and us and took several hours. Despite me blocking up the gap whilst we wait for the handyman to come and block it properly he's managed to do it again! I'm so stressed, I can't eat and feel sick. I don't think we should attempt to get him again as it absolutely terrified him. Am I right to leave him to it? We can't get to him but he can easily get out. It's horrible and cold there but it's safe and he can't get outside. I've left his food, water and litter tray nearby. Shall I just wait until he builds up the confidence to come out? I'm a nervous wreck and can't believe it's happened again.

One day that cat will be a relaxed part of your family, for now he’s just finding his feet, he’s lucky to have such a caring owners like you

We adopted two rescue cats that were terrified of us for a good few weeks. We decided to let them just co-exist and with us in their own space and we would supply to food, treats and patience. The first time they realised that they were safe was the best day ever - their confidence grew and grew, it can’t be forced, it’s part of the journey.

The challenging ones are so worth it, when you crack them it’s the biggest reward ❤️

See, you are becoming his family.

To really make kitboy feel settled you need desperate measures here: One of you/DC needs to offer their (at a push) second best item of black clothing, navy blue might work, and leave it accessible. It is catnip for cats that don't like catnip!

You've all made great progress.

i got my rescue boy at 5 months and moved him in with me after i split with my partner. he went from a 4 cat household to being the only one. i thought he’d be quite chilled about it.

the move had him under the back of a sofa bed (very farthest corner) for a week. he then spent a month or so scurrying back there every time he heard a noise. i pretty much ignored him - he was eating and drinking and using his tray at night.

7 months on and he is laid-back, firmly attached to me and has gone from being totally silent to spending his days shouting at me. he is very, very happy - i was so scared i’d broken him by moving him but he’s actually much happier as a one-cat householder.

tl;dr - cats are dicks.

(he was 2 when we moved here)

I love hearing all these success stories. It's so encouraging. Our cat has been affectionate from day 1 but understandably very scared and spends a lot of time hiding. I look forward to the day when he's confident in the house and comfortable enough to stretch out on the bed/sofa and have a good sleep.

Sounds like he's already got you perfectly trained!

@SallyWD how is DCat doing now? Spending less time in his hiding place? Hope he's starting to settle in nicely.

@bellabelly thank you for asking. I wish I could say he was hiding less but he's been hiding all day! I think it's because my husband worked from home then the children had friends over so the house wasn't as quiet as usual. It does make me sad but I know it's only been 1 week.. . It has to get better.

1. Week to a cat is nothing. Unless you put them in a cattery to go on holiday and then it’s a huge massive unreasonable length of time.

He is just training you to make sure he is your priority and at his back and call, don’t fall for it. Devious things cats (I have cats)

Ah you are such a lovely owner! When he’s settled in he’s going to be the happiest cat around.

My cat hid under my bed for about 3 weeks. Unless I was in it which she deemed a disgusting thing and would shoot off on top of the wardrobe. She soon became my shadow once she realised I wasn’t evil!

Thank you. We really want him to be happy but at the moment he's so freaked out and frightened that I feel guilty! We will be patient. It must be overwhelming for him.

he will settle. once he’s used to all the different noises and understands none of them are a threat to him he will start to chill out. at the moment lots of noises are ‘new’ and he’s having to assess on the fly, so hiding is easier for him.

mine literally disappeared every time he heard a noise and kept that up for a month. now everything seems to be filed under ‘non-threatening’ he has calmed down massively. it just takes time and you are doing all the right things.

Aw, don't feel guilty! You're giving him a lovely home, he just needs more time to work that out.

We got 5/6 ish month old sisters at the end of December. They were shut in the lounge for the first day and a half- brave cat came out after 12 hours and has been a tart ever since- she spends her time in the lounge and will let anyone fuss her. Scared cat was under the sofa until we opened the lounge door then spent two weeks under our bed (ended up with a food and water tray on the bedroom floor and a litter tray in the en suite). She’s been terrified at the vet every time (jabs x2, spay and 2 post op checks) and spent a day under the bed when she got home each time. She now sleeps on our bed mostly, comes down to the kitchen to eat and will sit in the lounge with us in the evenings but she still hides every time she hears a loud noise or we have visitors and she only lets DH stroke her at night. I think she’ll always be a more nervous cat than her sister and it’s still early days but she’s come a long way in the few weeks we’ve had her so don’t be disheartened.

Thank you everyone. It really does help to read about these cats that hid for ages and are now really happy. I haven't seen our cat for 2 days now. He's under the kitchen cupboard all day and emerges at night when we're asleep. He eats very well at night, uses the litter tray and seems to explore a bit. There's nothing we can do except wait... It's just such a shame because the first 5 days when he was confined to one room he was really affectionate, falling asleep on my tummy etc. Now we don't get the opportunity to build on our relationship because he's completely unreachable and invisible.

Do you sit and talk to him quietly? That really helped our girl under the bath, so much so that I was able to call her out after a while.

@JorisBonson yes I do that about 3 times a day for a few minutes. Hopefully it'll work eventually.

Our male (we knew he was very very timid before we even laid eyes on him) hid under the computer cables , the sofa, the far corner table .
We have a camera set up so we can watch them.

On the first night , I volunteered DS (20) to sleep in the same room as them. He said they were moving about a bit and eating.

DH removed the kickboard in one area, the cats love to slope underneath (and come out covered in dust)

the first 5 days when he was confined to one room he was really affectionate

Ahh that's The Honeymoon Period aka Lulling You Into A False Sense Of Security .

And yah fell for it

70isaLimitNotaTarget Ha! I should have known! When did your timid boy start hiding less and interacting more?

He’s just working out if your cat murderers or not.

We have a rescue cat too. The first night we had him he disappeared. I was frantic, searched the house high and low, every single possible hiding place. We then thought he may have escaped out the front door when i was taking out the rubbish. He is black cat so could easily sneak past us. I spent hours combing the garden in the dark, walking the streets with cat treats, crying my eyes out that we had only had him for a matter of hours. The kids were all crying, my daughters friend who was here for a sleepover was crying and wanted to go home. 2.30am everyone in bed, fast asleep apart from me sitting on sofa in living room. I heard a small snuffle and low and behold the cat emerged from underneath the sofa. He had somehow managed to climb up into the fabric and the supports underneath the sofa and had been there for over 6 hours. You cannot imagine the relief I felt. He is now a happy relaxed cat who owns us to the point he won't leave me alone, follows me around the house, sits on me whenever I sit down anywhere.

Sally he really gained confidence when he started going out ( we got them in mid May , they went out in the mid July .)
Just out the french doors, we were in the garden. Door tied back so it didn't swing.
Then they got used to their micro-chip door and now the skies the limit . They have their routine and are free to come/go until evening lock in.

When he came out from under the sofa we all held our breath as he scuttled across the floor , all Air Steal-ey.

His favourite thing in the world is his laser pen - he sits looking at DH "Dad ,Dad. Do my pen light thing"

He lies on DH side of the bed (with muddy paws) when we're at work

Adores DD and dribbles spit when she strokes him.
Tolerates me and glares if I try to touch him.
How very dare you? Touching a cat without prior invitation is very very very very very very unacceptable (Ikea advert )

They own the house and bless us with their presence . Not presents. Though we are well supplied with live worms

@Ginomarse I felt exactly the same when we first lost our cat. Couldn't believe I was so incompetent to lose it him quickly. I was sure he'd escaped.