Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
The litter tray

Join our community of cat lovers on the Mumsnet Cat forum for kitten advice and help with cat behaviour.

Original poster

I can't look at my cat :(

240 replies

catburglar · 13/01/2020 17:20

My pet cat disappeared on Thursday. I've a microchip catflap for him and his sister so they're always coming and going. He arrived back on Saturday and he'd been neutered and ear tipped. I'm really upset. I don't know how I can cope with seeing him looking like that for the next 20 years. I don't know who did it or why. I feel like I'm being really shallow but I feel like he's been mutilated. He's perfectly happy himself at least.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
8
74NewStreet · 13/01/2020 18:47

This is utterly nuts Confused. You are gathering up all the neighbourhood cats and having them neutered, but haven’t had your own done because you can’t afford it?
That’s bad enough, but you’re now distraught because someone else has done it for you and saved you the expense?
What is wrong with you?!

Scarsthelot · 13/01/2020 18:49

Hang on, his sister went missing last April for a month and was neutered.

The cats, if it is his actual sister, are of an age where the male should have been neutered ages ago.

And you said most of the stray cats had been 'stolen' at the same time.

You are one of the reasons there are so many ateay cata in your area. Because you didnt get your Male cat done.

ShelbyCherryBlossom · 13/01/2020 18:55

Also, not being able to look at him?! Our pets are like our children, I can't imagine not being able to look at one of them because of something so small! Or is it because of the crushing guilt from being such a terrible pet parent? I'm sure loads of us on here would happily rehome him for you - that's if we can bear to look past his deformity 🙄

Fluffycloudland77 · 13/01/2020 18:59

This is possibly the most bonkers cat thread ever, and I’ve been here years.

Mentounasc · 13/01/2020 19:08

Bonkers indeed, Fluffy.

Quite apart from increasing the stray population the OP professes to be reducing, and being a social menace by (presumably fighting and spraying), the 'pet cat' was at a high risk of getting lost for good.

Unneutered males will follow the scent of ladies for miles, and then suddenly realise they're lost. That's how we got our handsome lad, whowas pickedup as a lost stray (fortunately the shelter neutered him). Now he doesn't roam or spray any more, but he's still a bit of a scrapper. Unneutered males are foul to live with and letting them out even once is totally irresponsible.

Original poster
catburglar · 13/01/2020 19:16

If course both my cats are rescues. After my old cat died in 2018 I took in two kittens from a litter of six from a feral mum. I got the other 4 and the mother cat neutered. I got my two vaccinated and wormed etc but I hadn't got around to getting my boy neutered, obviously.

I can only get the cats done one at a time. There was no reason to prioritise mine over the others. Of course I regret that now.

There were loads of stray cats that have been coming and going - believe it or not I actually have a spreadsheet

I know it's terrible that I feel differently about my cat because he's been tipped. I think it's because I do feel guilty about letting him out before he was neutered. I'm sure I'll get over it. I'll get used to it soon. I'm really shocked and sad though

OP posts:
JassyRadlett · 13/01/2020 19:23

You know it’s possible for cats to have kittens at any time of year, right?

Idonttrackpeas · 13/01/2020 19:25

You can't look at your cat because he's been ear tipped? Well how sad for you. Does everything need to be perfect to be worth looking at?

LochJessMonster · 13/01/2020 19:25

Have you checked your cats microchip is working and in the correct place?

Bluemascara4 · 13/01/2020 19:27

Kitten season?????

Eh?

Longtalljosie · 13/01/2020 19:30

Our cat’s ear was ripped in a fight, poor love. I’d rather it hadn’t happened but he’s still him...

mrscatmad31 · 13/01/2020 19:31

Also it's not just unwanted kittens, he's at risk of disease and more at risk of being run over if he's not been neutered? Could well have FIV now, far better his ear is clipped than that!

picklemepopcorn · 13/01/2020 19:33

Are you in the U.K., OP?

picklemepopcorn · 13/01/2020 19:35

It does kind of make sense to me, you take in six cats, some are neutered and rehomed, the ones you are keeping you save up for neutering. because they aren't done free.
How old did you say he was?

crustycrab · 13/01/2020 19:36

"There was no reason to prioritise mine over the others"

The reason would be that he's out and about creating more stray kittens Hmm

titchy · 13/01/2020 19:37

There was no reason to prioritise mine over the others.

Of course there was if you were letting yours outside. Your first responsibility is to your own pets, not strays. It's like prioritising feeding your neighbours children while letting yours go hungry.

JKScot4 · 13/01/2020 19:40

He’s possibly between 18/24 mths old, he’s probably produced dozens of these cats you’re neutering!! I cannot understand how you’ve been this dim!!
You DO NOT let an unneutered cat out to roam!!!
This is definitely one of most stupid things I’ve read 🙄

agonyauntie2020 · 13/01/2020 19:41

Batshit.

Scarsthelot · 13/01/2020 19:53

Your female cat was spayed before last April. Your male cat should have been spayed long ago or kept in.

They arent kittens. They are over a year old?

Instead of spending your late time keeping spread sheets on stray cats, be responsible for your own cats

74NewStreet · 13/01/2020 19:56

I can’t get past the “there was no reason to prioritise mine over copious random strays”. It literally doesn’t compute.

PickwickThePlockingDodo · 13/01/2020 19:56

I don't understand.
Who took your cat to be neutered? Surely they knew he wasn't feral, if he's a pet? If they assumed he was a stray even though he's presumably chipped why did they just dump him back where he came from? Why not try to rehome him?
How many unneutered cats do you have in your area? and how many are related to yourboy?Shock

JKScot4 · 13/01/2020 20:00

@PickwickThePlockingDodo
The TNR, is an easy way to reduce the feral cat population which OP says is big where she is, there simply isn’t enough homes to rehome all of them do by TNR it reduces the unwanted numbers.

Scarsthelot · 13/01/2020 20:05

why did they just dump him back where he came from? Why not try to rehome him?

Obviously, op isn't the only one doing this in the area.

YappityYapYap · 13/01/2020 20:05

I think you need to focus on your own actual cats OP.

We got a 10 month old male cat that hadn't been vaccinated or neutered. He was for sale on Facebook and the house he came from was a shithole if I'm honest and I think the owner was only looking for money and this poor boy was about all she had that was worth anything in her house (she had let him outside a couple of times as well, so irresponsible). We paid her for him, took him home and kept him inside until he was vaccinated, chipped, neutered, wormed and flead. I don't get why you chipped your cat but didn't neuter him as they tend to do that at the same time.

Your post doesn't make a lot of sense to me. I don't know where you live that there's so many stray cats about. This is the first pet I've had as an adult (nearly 30) apart from having a couple of hamsters for a few years and even I know you neuter them before letting them out. There is literally no point in neutering stray cats and not your own. It makes no logical sense!

YasssKween · 13/01/2020 20:07

There was no reason to prioritise mine over the others

Don't get a pet you can't prioritise really. But you know that now. Stop being annoyed with everyone and just think ugh I wish I'd done that but it can't be helped now - and enjoy your lovely boy, he is gorgeous!