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Join our community of cat lovers on the Mumsnet Cat forum for kitten advice and help with cat behaviour.

I can't look at my cat :(

240 replies

catburglar · 13/01/2020 17:20

My pet cat disappeared on Thursday. I've a microchip catflap for him and his sister so they're always coming and going. He arrived back on Saturday and he'd been neutered and ear tipped. I'm really upset. I don't know how I can cope with seeing him looking like that for the next 20 years. I don't know who did it or why. I feel like I'm being really shallow but I feel like he's been mutilated. He's perfectly happy himself at least.

OP posts:
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Shmithecat2 · 13/01/2020 17:56

Bloody hell. So you TNR all these ferals, but let out your own unneutered tom cat? What an absolute waste of time and effort. Good job someone else sorted it for you really. It's only a tipped ear. Be grateful. And yes, what pp said, there's no such thing as 'kitten season'. Confused

JoHarrison · 13/01/2020 17:56

Hang on, you're regularly neutering "stray" cats which might be other people's pets and now you're angry when someone has done the same to you own?!

titchy · 13/01/2020 17:57

Well it should have been your bloody priority given that your cat has probably gathered several litters. How utterly irresponsible and stupid of you.

Can't believe this is real actually....

Shmithecat2 · 13/01/2020 17:59

@IncrediblySadToo

Ear tipping is horrible

🙄🙄. Not as horrible as pointlessly trapping, stressing and possibly operating on a feral female twice because there's not really any other way to indicate that she'd already been fixed. I'm assuming you know nothing about TNR?

slipperywhensparticus · 13/01/2020 17:59

Does your vet know your cat? I mean if he sees you regularly wont he have thought the cat looked familiar?

peanutbutterkid · 13/01/2020 18:00

If he started getting into barnies with other local toms he'd be a lot more mutilated than a mere ear tip. I can imagine not liking it, but it's done now and he's safe and well and returned to you. Lots to like.

YasssKween · 13/01/2020 18:01

I'll have to accept it's largely my fault.

It's totally your fault!

But we've been overrun with stray cats here

Yes with un neutered cats mating to increase the population...

I'm in touch with my vet every week so the neutering appointment is irrelevant. We would have agreed a mutually suitable date

But you didn't and so somebody else has done it. It's not irrelevant, it's in the past and can't be changed but it's absolutely relevant.

I don't understand how you can be anything other than cross with yourself about this.

catburglar · 13/01/2020 18:02

You're being very hard on me Confused

I'm taking on board that I should have got my cat done sooner and not let him out until he was neutered. But I still maintain that we don't have kittens here until June July August. That's been true for as long as I can remember

As for neutering other people's pets - the poor cats are skinny and mangy and are scanned for chips before surgery

OP posts:
catburglar · 13/01/2020 18:06

Slipperywhenspartacus, the vet does know my cats. When I rang to tell them what happened the receptionist asked me which one was it because even she knows both of them.

It's true that he's home and in good health and it needed to be done so I shouldn't feel bad. I do though

OP posts:
Scarsthelot · 13/01/2020 18:08

Your cat will have been scanned and the chip was missed.

You said I was literally going to bring him in this week for a check up and the op

You werent taking him in this week for the OP. You have to make an appointment for the OP. How many females do you think he will have mated with between now and when he gets the operation?

You should not have let him out, if you are so concerned about the amount of strays.

And theres no such thing as kitten season. You do not see every litter born.

Scarsthelot · 13/01/2020 18:09

The receptionist at my vets knows both my dogs. That's not that surprising.

YasssKween · 13/01/2020 18:10

It's not even so much you not getting him neutered I don't think OP, it's your reaction to it being done. So dramatic considering you know it needed doing!

I'm really upset. I don't know how I can cope with seeing him looking like that for the next 20 years. I don't know who did it or why.

He's still your lovely cat, you are being very melodramatic to talk about not being able to look at him.

And you do know why it was done, it was because it hadn't been done already.

I think if you'd come on and said shit, I didn't get it sorted in time and I'm upset it's been done without me so I feel bad and sorry for the little mite then everyone would have reacted differently.

It's because you've acted outraged at something you knew needed to be done but hadn't prioritised.

Chin up, it's done now!

Brenna24 · 13/01/2020 18:11

Your cat shouldn't have been out until he was neutered. And that's pretty rotten to be unable to look at your cat because of a small physical difference in him which wouldn't have been there had you been responsible in the first place.

SinkGirl · 13/01/2020 18:12

A pet intact tom attacked both of my female kittens when they were 12-18 months old. One was almost blinded. The other had her stomach literally sliced open and needed surgery. You shouldn’t be letting him out without neutering him first, regardless of season.

felipeishandsomeUwU · 13/01/2020 18:13

Uh, you should probs give him cuddles

cats like cuddlez
hahhhah Smile

IncrediblySadToo · 13/01/2020 18:14

@Shmithecat2. You can assume whatever you like, it doesn’t make you right 🤷🏻‍♀️

Shannith · 13/01/2020 18:15

I'm just going to say what everyone else has said. Hopefully you'll listen to one of us.

You were totally irresponsible letting an entire cat out.

Even more so as you claim to voluntarily neuter entire cats.

Glossy or mangy, expensive food or rats, they all have cat dicks and create unwanted kittens at any time of the year.

Sorry he is not as pretty as he was. Its your fault.

Ouchaheadinmybehind · 13/01/2020 18:15

But we've been overrun with stray cats here
Yet you let your cats out without being neutered -ludicrous.
Is it right that his sister hasn’t been done yet either? Keep her in until she is.

BentNeckLady · 13/01/2020 18:18

You let your un neutered cat out and someone did the right thing and neutered it for you.

Saved you a job!

Shmithecat2 · 13/01/2020 18:26

@IncrediblySadToo

What other way do you suggest that ferals already neutered can be recognised then?

Shmithecat2 · 13/01/2020 18:29

Nothing 'horrible' about this!

I can't look at my cat :(
MitziK · 13/01/2020 18:32

He's easily big enough to have been sniffing, squawking, scrapping and shagging his way round the females who had kittens in October/November - 'kitten season' doesn't apply when it's a female coming back in to heat because her kittens have just been found new homes.

Have you had your female cat checked by a vet recently? You might find she's put on a bit of weight.

slipperywhensparticus · 13/01/2020 18:33

My bear with his taggy ear i think it suits him

I can't look at my cat :(
WhenOneDoorClosesAnotherOpens · 13/01/2020 18:35

I'm confused too. Why are you catching and neutering stray cats instead of neutering your own first? I rescued my cat and the shelter neuters them before they are rehomed, so I'm guessing you didn't get your cats from a shelter? Are the stray cats re-homable because if so why didn't you adopt one of those instead of bringing new cats into an area overran with cats? And how can you get mad at someone doing this to your pet when it is apparently what you are doing to all the other cats in the area.

I agree with a pp. You should not let an un-neutered cat outside. I can't believe someone obsessed with neutering cats wouldn't know that. Hmm

ShelbyCherryBlossom · 13/01/2020 18:40

This can't be serious.

Firstly, why didn't you rescue a couple of these strays after they had been neutered instead of adding to a neighbourhood that's clearly overflowing with cats?

Secondly, you do realise you've probably aided in the creation of more cats than you've helped?

Thirdly, are you kidding?