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The litter tray

Join our community of cat lovers on the Mumsnet Cat forum for kitten advice and help with cat behaviour.

Original poster

Male or Female Kitten

45 replies

RedJoan · 28/10/2019 19:13

I am being embarrassingly indecisive here - thought I had decided on a male kitten but my best cat ever was female and the female kitten from this litter is very pretty. Male is currently reserved but I want to change my mind.

No particular reason for posting tbh Blush, apart from being embarrassed to make the phone call.

OP posts:
NonUrinatInVentum · 28/10/2019 19:14

Get both WinkGrin 2 kittens is always better than 1

Original poster
RedJoan · 28/10/2019 19:16

Two isn't an option. Have had three before so been there and done that.

OP posts:
Original poster
RedJoan · 28/10/2019 19:17

How flaky would I appear for changing my mind though that is the question.

OP posts:
70isaLimitNotaTarget · 28/10/2019 21:27

We have m/f siblings ( got them at a year) the boy is far more affectionate . The female just 'owns' us and he house and treats us all as her personal staff Grin

fireworksandhotdogs · 28/10/2019 21:34

The boy cats I have had have always been great, super friendly and affectionate. The girls I've had have been pretty neurotic and haven't been affectionate.

Plump82 · 28/10/2019 22:32

I have a boy and girl. Siblings. The boy is a total snuggle bug. Loves being picked up and cuddled. Our girl likes cuddles, but on her own terms!!

maybesomedayiwill · 29/10/2019 09:34

Only had my boy/girl sibling for a week but the boy is just so affectionate. Always invites himself onto my lap or the kids' for a nap. The female though very playful won't be caught dead on anyone's lap, jumps off the minute you set her down.

YetAnotherSpartacus · 29/10/2019 11:22

Oh go on. You know you want two really.

Original poster
RedJoan · 29/10/2019 17:37

Only one kitty here going forward.

I am planning to travel during the summer for eight weeks and my friend will take in one but not two so one it is!

OP posts:
AnotherMum76 · 29/10/2019 17:47

In my experience, boys are so much more affectionate and generally lovely. I have two of each so speak from experience Grin

cushioncovers · 29/10/2019 17:49

Male cats are friendlier imo

slipperywhensparticus · 29/10/2019 17:49

Boys are lovely but why get one when your leaving?

70isaLimitNotaTarget · 29/10/2019 17:51

What colour are they (I am going to say you need to take the black kitten what with them being the least homeable ) I'd still go for the boy .

Wolfiefan · 29/10/2019 17:52

I wouldn’t get either if I was travelling for 8 weeks. It’s just a baby. Needs to get settled at home and be neutered and microchipped and attached to you. Wait.

cushioncovers · 29/10/2019 18:11

Just read that you are going travelling next summer for 8 weeks. Honestly I would wait and get one afterwards. It's a big responsibility to leave an animal with someone else. Cats don't just move house easily they aren't the same as dogs. Also you will get attached to them might find you don't want to leave him or her for that long.

TroysMammy · 29/10/2019 18:15

I've always had male cats because they are lovely and affectionate and have never brought me "gifts".

Haribo my 4 month old kitten is really affectionate but I can see he will bring me gifts in the form of a neighbours defrosting sausages and cooling Sunday roast.

FelicityFeather · 29/10/2019 18:43

Female all the way for me. Wouldn't have a male

Original poster
RedJoan · 29/10/2019 20:15

I am travelling for eight weeks not eight years - a drop in the ocean of the life of one of my pets.

My friend (vet) is, I hope, slightly aware of what she is doing when taking in my kitty.

Honestly it’s just a cat .... Confused.

find you don't want to leave him or her for that long, that isn’t what I will do at all.

OP posts:
Wolfiefan · 29/10/2019 20:26

Just a cat?
If that’s how you feel then don’t get one. You’re taking on an extra family member that may be with you for over 20 years. It’s not just a cat.

Original poster
RedJoan · 29/10/2019 20:39

Do get lost Wolfiefan. I don’t recognise many posters but I do recognise you and your very judgemental style on anything you write on the pet section.

It’s a cat, not a surrogate child.

My previous cats have all made it to late teens, dog mid teens, equines late 20s and counting.

But yes, they are all just pets in my life. Loved, cared for and happy but just pets.

OP posts:
Wolfiefan · 29/10/2019 20:41

You don’t bring a tiny baby kitten home then bugger off and leave it for a couple of weeks. You could well end up with it taking off or peeing in the house. Nobody who considers an animal “just a” anything should be allowed to have them. Why not wait until after the travelling? No reason other than selfishness.

Original poster
RedJoan · 29/10/2019 20:48

I will be leaving it for eight weeks not two, next summer when it will no longer be a tiny kitten. Leaving it with my friend who is a veterinary surgeon 🤷🏻‍♀️. I think she will manage an adolescent cat somehow.

Returning the favour for when I looked after her dog while she went to Australia for six weeks.

I wasn’t seeking opinions on my view of my pets or whether I should get one .... just struggling to decide on male female.

Not interested in your view Wolfie, but thanks.

OP posts:
FrankenCat · 29/10/2019 20:57

When I got my first cat from a rescue the lady there said she only had male cats because of how affectionate they are.
I've got two boys are they really are babies. Completely loving and amazing cats. I was told females tend to be more self sufficient and don't need the companionship as much as males. How true that is I don't know, as I've only ever had my two boys.
As for your "just cats" comment, I totally get that. Yes, they are family members but 100% if someone said your cats or your kids, my cats would go. I'm realistic like that, as much as I love them, they are pets.

Helmlover1 · 29/10/2019 21:01

So you’re going to get a kitten then bugger off for 8 weeks? You do realise cats/kittens are very territorial so they will just start to bond with you/get into little routines/get used to their surroundings only to dumped somewhere unfamiliar with somebody else. But it’s ok because, in the OP’s words ‘ITS JUST A CAT’. People like you shouldn’t be allowed pets.

Original poster
RedJoan · 29/10/2019 21:05

See, that’s why I am conflicted Franken, I have had both and my most lovely cat ever was female. She actually used to follow me when I rode my bike, trotting along meowing. I used to have to put her in my handlebar bag, take her home and lock her in the house - furthest she ever ran was almost a mile, fortunately I lived on a private road. Same cat used to sit by me as my huge horse went round us in circles on the lunge and then sit on her back in her stable.

Another female was such a character that she used to run down to the little beach at the end of my land to greet the dog when she got out of the river.

My one and only boy cat was absolutely lovely but didn’t have the character of the girls.

OP posts: