Starting to hate my cats, how to make them behave?

[SnailsEverywhere]

So I have 4 cats, they're all indoors only as 2 of them have "disabilities" so they can't go outside. I've had 3 of them for 5 years, the other one was my boyfriends cat who moved in with us when he did, about 2 years ago, so they've lived together a long time now.

They don't fight between themselves, but they just destroy anything that they can, I live in a really small flat (was in a bigger place when I first got them), I can't leave ANYTHING out on a surface because it'll be chewed or knocked off or wrecked. They've eaten plastic bags, any human food that they can, wires, chewed wood, chewed my ipad, papers and cards, any packaging, they tip over the bin when they can and eat anything from there, I can't even put my birthday cards on display for example because they'll just get catted and destroyed.

2 out of the 4 also refuse to go to the toilet in the litter box, we have 3 boxes (very large ones and changed regularly with poops always picked out asap), one cat will go to the toilet literally infront of the entrance to the box, the other cat will poop in the box but urinate on anything soft like clothes, bedding, the carpet. The carpet has also been ripped up at the corners from the cats.

At feeding times they all have their own bowl and they're fed 2 times a day with good quality food, 2 of them are still overweight, they all beg for food as if they're starving. If I'm making food they are all under my feet meowing and begging and jumping on surfaces and making a mess everywhere.

I have a big cat tree for them to scratch and sleep on, and a sofa which is basically only for them (but the one cat keeps trying to urinate on that too), they have lots of toys and get lots of human attention from my boyfriend. I have feliway plug in which is a calming scent thing but it doesn't seem to do anything. The cats are loving to me and my boyfriend and want attention and cuddles etc, which they get from him, but I am starting to hate them for their behaviour. They've literally ruined my flat by constantly destroying everything. I love them but I don't like them at all, my boyfriend refuses to rehome them (I would gladly rehome the worst 2 of them at this point because I'm so stressed out)

They've never been outdoor cats so it's not like they're missing the outdoors and want to go there, and like I said they can't go outside anyway as if I leave a window open for the 2 normal cats then the 2 disabled ones will get out too and just die outside or be stolen. How can I make them use the litter boxes and stop wrecking everything? They've only been this bad in the last year or so, so I've put it down to the lack of space we have now while we lived in a biggish house before, but they only ever stayed in 1 room before anyway out of choice, and this is something that I can't fix at present

I’m sorry but they do sound incredibly stressed. I’d recommend two of them despite what your boyfriend says. They are unhappy cats.

Ah that sounds tough op. How much input does your bf have with them?

I’m not sure what else you can do, if you haven’t got the space you haven’t got the space! It sounds like they are bored and distressed at sharing a small space together. The litter tray thing is usually a dirty protest (obviously check with vets if any underlying issues)

Thing is, if it’s really stressing you that much then it’s unfair of your bf to say you can’t rehome some.

Rehome not recommend.

You need to play with indoor cats A LOT or they will go crazy. They need things to “hunt”.

I’ve found feather toys are the best way to exhaust them.

Here’s an example of one but there are others www.amazon.co.uk/Interactive-Feathers-Retractable-Telescopic-Caterpillar/dp/B07K3V6PN2/ref=mp_s_a_1_31?s=gateway&crid=2ZTD5TVEWPW78&keywords=feather+cat+toys&sprefix=feather+cat+&tag=mumsnetforu03-21&qid=1555002076&sr=8-31

poor cats, maybe it's too much having 4 together with no outside space for them. could you rehome two of them. Just because they have never been outside doesn't mean they don't want more space to explore. They should have their own litter trays with food and water away from the trays and separate sleeping boxes.it's not fair on the cats really, why won't your bf rehome them? you can't stop them scratching and pulling stuff about, they're probably bored, stressed and have lots of pent up energy. I had a cat once in a small studio and it wasn't fair, I took her to a rehoming centre.

I think the issue is that is a lot of cats for a small flat.

Recommendation for litter trays is one per cat plus one and they should be around the flat and not together.

My cats don't like using litter trays but will poop on puppy pads so I have a few of them down.

It soubds like they have a lot of energy. Can you get up 20 mins earlier and play with them?

They're incredibly stressed. Not even sure where to begin with all that info.

Sign over your two non-disabled cats to a rehoming centre. They can assess them for appropriate new homes where they can have gradual outdoor access and much more space, their own litter trays/food/water, without other cats around and with people who can dedicate time to them. The centre won't judge you at all, they'll just be pleased you're doing the best thing for the cats.

Do not rehome yourself via friends or fb or anything like that - doing a diy rehome of stressed cats will not end well for the cats or new owners.

The litter trays aren't near to each other, but literally can't fit more litter trays into my flat for them to have any more than 3.

I would use a rehoming centre if I rehome 2, and I would rehome the non-disabled 2 but ideally would want them to go together since they've been together since kittens. I would miss them and as I said I do love them, but I'm sure they would have nice lives somewhere else.

One of them is weird with strangers, do you think a rehoming centre would let the cats stay with me until homes were found as opposed to keeping them there in cat kennels? Just imagining them stuck in kennels is upsetting because I know they'd hate that.

They're SUPER affectionate though and especially to my boyfriend, will sleep with him and lay on his lap and cuddle and lick him. When he's home he always has at least 1 cat on him at all times. We work alternate shifts too so the cats are very rarely left alone, I guess that's why I didn't put their behaviour down to stress or anything since they still seem happy, just destructive?

The market for cats who toilet inappropriately is small though so rehoming might not be that easy.

Have you tried ultra clumping litters? Wilko do one quite cheaply. Some litters are too rough on paws, it would be like us walking over gravel barefoot.

Could you put a cat flap in? Microchip ones can be set to only allow certain cats out

How small is the flat? Is there any prospect of you moving again in the near-ish future or do you expect to stay in this one for several years?

Indoor cats in general are in high demand at rehoming charities because there are more indoor homes on offer than cats suitable for them (i.e. it's harder to make a cat that's lived as a stray an indoor cat). So as a pair they might be happier elsewhere if your situation is unlikely to change and is making humans and cats alike unhappy.

If you want to try and make things better and keep them, you need to play with them to really wear them out. Fishing rod style dangly toys, laser pointer, little balls to chase - just lots of high energy play as much as possible. You could also consider increasing their living space by adding "cat shelves" high up on walls. Scratching posts and pads including those inexpensive cardboard scratchers in corners where they scratch the carpet.

I have one cat who will urinate on soft things like towels left on the floor, or on fluffy rugs. If those are not available, she is perfect at using a litter tray.

You could also try Zylkene, it's a supplement added to their food to relax and calm them.

It sounds like they don’t like their litter. Cats have sensitive paws and as the6 get older they find it more difficult to self groom. Try using a litter with smaller grain, such as ‘Worlds best litter’. It’s expensive, but lasts a really long time.

Use washing powder in very, very hot water to wash down the areas in which they’ve peed and give them covered litter trays, so they feel safe. You can remove the flap if they don’t like it. Keep the litter trays away from windows and doors, so they feel secure. Entrance areas can make them feel as if they are at risk of attack.

Do you have a balcony? It might be worth your while in turning it into a caged area that you and your cats can enjoy. If you only have windows, then try investing in a catico or similar so your poor kitties can enjoy the ‘outdoors’.

Play with them. Use toys/feathers on a stick and laser lights. You can even buy battery operated feather on a stick type toys. It’ll be hard work at first, but hopefully will help the whole family.

You can get sprays and plug ins that can help calm cats. They release a scent that is similar to that released to a lactating cat and helps them settle. Humans can’t smell it. It’s cheaper to buy online. Keep the cats out of the area that you use the spray on, for ten minutes as the alcohol can smell for a bit.

Make sure you have them on a good quality diet. If you feed them cheap shite, it’ll irritate their tums and cause them to be agitated.

Forgot to post the cage and catico photos.

I presume you have feliway plug ins?

If there is always one of you there are you playing with them for a few minutes every hour they are awake?

Does the flat have enclosed garden you can take your healthy cat to? I have two indoor cats but they do like to wander into the garden with me and have a sniff of different things but they are also 14 so don't run round anymore (well except for the odd manic minute)

Try puppy pads. They have mostly worked for me.

Also are you the sure the cats actually get on?

4 indoor cats in a small flat is not fair. If you’re not planning on moving you need to recognise that the toileting issues are down to a lack of privacy/space and stress. Maybe rehome 2?

They're just BORED, OP. No wonder they're chewing and destroying things! I don't think cats are made to live their lives indoors. You say you're in a flat, but what floor is it on? Can you not leave a window open? What's the nature of the disabled cats' disabilities? Sorry about all the questions but it must be so sad for the cats, and so stressful for you! And all that business of the litter trays! (With the greatest of respect, your flat must pong!)

I do have an enclosed garden but worry if I take any cat outside it'll just jump the fence and not come back. Also if it gets used to being outside and keeps wanting to come and go, it can't cos any access I leave open for that cat will let out the disabled ones too. Can't get cat flap as it's a patio door and I'm renting anyway so wouldn't be allowed.

I do have feliway but haven't heard of zylkene, I will check that out. The cats do get on and sleep together and groom each other, don't fight or chase or anything. I have some toys but honestly don't use them that regularly - there isn't really even any space to fling a string on a stick type toy around as the flat is sooo small - (moved here out of desperation so couldn't be picky but that's a whole different story) Only 2/4 cats have ever shown any interest in toys anyway and not for very long.

They do like laser pointer type toys but I have dogs too and 1 of the dogs goes BERSERK if he even sees the laser pointer pen come out - I've read that they can cause mental issues in animals as they chase it but have no reward at the end and just spend time looking for it afterwards. Flat is so small I can't put my dog somewhere else while I get the laser pointer out for the cats, and even if I put him outside or something the cats don't have space to even run after a laser pointer. There's maybe a straight line of 16 feet of accessible floor space from one wall to the other in the open plan livingroom/kitchen combo.

The litter I use is wood pellets but I have tried different types too, it doesn't make them use it. We do put puppy pads over the spot the cats keep weeing on but when the cats dig around after they've been to the toilet they just pull the pad up and make more mess. Also is annoying to have to use puppy pads literally 10cm away from the litter box, boxes are covered type and the flap is removed.

Can't add cat shelves or anything for them as I'm renting and not allowed, so the same goes for creating some sort of safe area outside for them. I contacted a cat charity telling them my situation and giving some info about possibly rehoming 2. I hadn't even considered that they might be stressed here since they still seem happy when they don't destroy everything. Will see if I can get some zylkene that a pp mentioned and see if that'll help them calm down first, but medicating cats because of my own housing problems doesn't seem fair either :(

I understand rehome is best option but also need to take into account what someone else said that if they have toilet issues they will be very difficult to rehome, so ideally you should try everything you can first.

the disabled cats - one is deaf so can't go outside as he can't hear danger and cars etc, and one is a sphynx cat so can't go out as he would just freeze and has no protection against other animals. Also worried if they went outside or got out by accident that they'd be stolen as they're both unique looking (white long fur with blue eyes, and hairless sphynx) and super friendly to people.

also the 2 non disabled ones that I would pick to rehome, 1 of them is the one with toilet problems, the other one is fine just fat and chews everything

That's a lot of animals in a small area-you need to give them more space. Build a catio that will sit against a window, and let them out into the fresh air.

You have 4 cats and at least 2 dogs in a flat so small you dont have room to flick a toy on a string about? I'm sorry but that just sounds really cruel, no wonder they sound stressed.

You can train them to wear harnesses, OP. However you use them with extendable leads and, unlike dogs, the cats lead the way. The hardest part is getting them on the cats, but after that it’s straightforward. My cats used to start climbing my legs to get into them. 😁

The problem with puppy pads, is that they are scented to attract the animal, thus encouraging them to pee on them. You can buy washable puppy pads and wash them on boil, with bio washing powder.

I wouldn’t usually recommend this but I honestly think rehoming would be the best move here. Either that or moving to a bigger house.
It’s just not fair on any of you to be in this position, the cats especially.

Wait, you have dogs too ?

It does sound overcrowded with two humans, four cats and two (?) dogs in a small flat.

Toileting issues often resolve with a change of environment so that cat might be fine elsewhere with less stress. Sounds like it might be better to rehome in this situation for everyone's sake. You could look for smaller local charities who will not have huge shelters, most cats will stay in a home environment or a more spacious pen in someone's garden while waiting for rehoming.