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The litter tray

Join our community of cat lovers on the Mumsnet Cat forum for kitten advice and help with cat behaviour.

Original poster

Starting to hate my cats, how to make them behave?

51 replies

SnailsEverywhere · 11/04/2019 17:55

So I have 4 cats, they're all indoors only as 2 of them have "disabilities" so they can't go outside. I've had 3 of them for 5 years, the other one was my boyfriends cat who moved in with us when he did, about 2 years ago, so they've lived together a long time now.

They don't fight between themselves, but they just destroy anything that they can, I live in a really small flat (was in a bigger place when I first got them), I can't leave ANYTHING out on a surface because it'll be chewed or knocked off or wrecked. They've eaten plastic bags, any human food that they can, wires, chewed wood, chewed my ipad, papers and cards, any packaging, they tip over the bin when they can and eat anything from there, I can't even put my birthday cards on display for example because they'll just get catted and destroyed.

2 out of the 4 also refuse to go to the toilet in the litter box, we have 3 boxes (very large ones and changed regularly with poops always picked out asap), one cat will go to the toilet literally infront of the entrance to the box, the other cat will poop in the box but urinate on anything soft like clothes, bedding, the carpet. The carpet has also been ripped up at the corners from the cats.

At feeding times they all have their own bowl and they're fed 2 times a day with good quality food, 2 of them are still overweight, they all beg for food as if they're starving. If I'm making food they are all under my feet meowing and begging and jumping on surfaces and making a mess everywhere.

I have a big cat tree for them to scratch and sleep on, and a sofa which is basically only for them (but the one cat keeps trying to urinate on that too), they have lots of toys and get lots of human attention from my boyfriend. I have feliway plug in which is a calming scent thing but it doesn't seem to do anything. The cats are loving to me and my boyfriend and want attention and cuddles etc, which they get from him, but I am starting to hate them for their behaviour. They've literally ruined my flat by constantly destroying everything. I love them but I don't like them at all, my boyfriend refuses to rehome them (I would gladly rehome the worst 2 of them at this point because I'm so stressed out)

They've never been outdoor cats so it's not like they're missing the outdoors and want to go there, and like I said they can't go outside anyway as if I leave a window open for the 2 normal cats then the 2 disabled ones will get out too and just die outside or be stolen. How can I make them use the litter boxes and stop wrecking everything? They've only been this bad in the last year or so, so I've put it down to the lack of space we have now while we lived in a biggish house before, but they only ever stayed in 1 room before anyway out of choice, and this is something that I can't fix at present

OP posts:
Fluffycloudland77 · 11/04/2019 21:29

My cat won’t use wood. Ultra clumping is very very fine grained and much softer for them to use.

Is the housing situation going to change?.

bluespider15 · 11/04/2019 21:53

You have overloaded your flat with animals and it's making them miserable. Cats are quite solitary and like their own space. I would recommend rehoming them or allowing them outside space, regardless of disability. You can always call them back in again at night.

wigglypiggly · 11/04/2019 22:12

My neighbours cat is blind and.goes out all the time. Could you attach some cat netting to the fence so they can't jump. Sorry but dogs and cats in such a small space is unkind. Do the dogs get out for fresh air and.exercise. a sphinx cat is not disabled, they can wear woolly jumpers if they feel cold and a deaf cat is able to go out in a garden.

Original poster
SnailsEverywhere · 11/04/2019 22:31

of course the dogs get walked and get outside Confused why wouldn't they?

it's recommended to not let sphynx cats outside, even with a jumper on. what if it gets caught on something?

same for the deaf cat, sure he can go in the garden but what stops him from jumping over the fence and then sitting in the road?

Also as I said, both cats look unique and would likely be stolen, when do you ever see cats that look like that outside? If people see a sphynx cat walking around alone outside and know the value of it, it's gone, either to sell or to keep, or even to take to the vets if people think it's sick due to having no fur

OP posts:
Original poster
SnailsEverywhere · 11/04/2019 22:34

also I haven't "overloaded my flat with animals", as I said, I had all the animals before moving here except my partners 1 cat which he brought with him. I used to live in a 4 bedroom house with plenty of room for animals, but I had to move due to domestic violence and the only place I could find in a hurry and in my price range that took pets was this small flat. Obviously I wasn't going to abandon my beloved pets of 5 years with my abuser Hmm

OP posts:
WatsKiskers · 11/04/2019 22:42

Four cats two dogs and two humans in a small flat - totally cruel and unfair on the animals, they are acting up because they are bored and stressed.

wigglypiggly · 11/04/2019 23:21

Could you get them fostered, cat protection run a d.v. scheme in some areas.

Chancewouldbeafinethlng · 12/04/2019 07:27

What do you think you will do op? You can’t go on like this surely, you must feel so stressed.

SaskiaRembrandt · 12/04/2019 07:52

Yes, as wigglypiggly said, the Cats Protection people run a scheme to foster cats when someone leaves a DA situation. Give them a ring and ask if they can help you out until you can find a more suitable place.

Cailleach · 12/04/2019 16:46

Far too many animals in a tiny space. Imagine yourself in one small room with six other people, never allowed to leave it with no opportunity for fresh air and exercise and very limited in terms of what mental stimulation you receive. Now imagine that you have four of those people going to the toilet in a box in the corner of the room so the smell of urine and faeces is constantly in the air.

You would be most unhappy - and so are they. Time to be responsible and rehome.

Aquamarine1029 · 12/04/2019 16:52

This behaviour is absolutely due to anxiety and stress. Your poor animals are suffering and they are trying to tell you that. You need to find a solution.

chemenger · 12/04/2019 17:01

I would highly recommend speaking to your local Cat Protection branch. If you want to rehome some of them they can do a home-to-home adoption, where they will advertise your cats, do a home visit to make sure the adopter is suitable and coordinate you meeting the prospective adopters too. This wouldn't cost you or the adopter anything and is a good way of ensuring they go to a good home. Alternatively they may be able to take the cats in to a foster home while they are looking for adopters, though now we are in kitten season there may not be space immediately.

I agree with PP's that the cats sound very stressed and the toilet problems will resolve. However many adopters are very tolerant of problems and willing to be patient with troubled cats so I would not worry too much.

EachandEveryone · 12/04/2019 22:10

Your landlord wont allow you to put shelves up but does allow six pets? How busy are the toads putside your garden? Id have to let two of them go outside and think of a way to let the other two into the garden its such a stressful situation for you all.

crimsonlake · 12/04/2019 22:14

I understand your dilemma in having to downsize and being reluctant to part with any of your pets. However clearly no one is happy, does your landlord even allow animals, as I know it is difficult to find a rental property that allows pets?

MiniMum97 · 13/04/2019 00:48

Your cats sound stressed and bored. Probably too many cats in a small space - even if cats know each other well they still like their own space - and because they can't get out and are trapped in a small flat.

Up until a week ago, I had two cats who were from the same litter. We got two so hey had each other for company. Very sadly, we had to have one of our cats PTS. He was the friendly, cuddly one who always wanted to sit with his sister and/or us.

His sister was always less affectionate, wanting to be on her own a lot, used to have regular "mad half hours", bit moody and would "play attack" her brother sometimes, and had an annoying habit of chewing paper. She would also sleep curled up with him though a lot and would regularly groom him. I didn't think anything of it therefore and just thought they were her quirks and that the cats would get along as they had always been together.

I have since read that often cats like to be solitary and even cats from the same litter may just "tolerate" each other when living in the same house. And since he has gone she was initially a bit withdrawn but has then become super affectionate, much more calm, sits with us in the evenings more, and there has been zero paper chewing! We are starting to wonder if she prefers to be solitary cat and that she actually found her brother's presence a bit stressful.

Cats stress doesn't always come out in obvious ways it seems.

Original poster
SnailsEverywhere · 13/04/2019 03:27

I didn’t know Cats Protection did home to home adoption, that sounds ideal as it means the 2 I would rehome wouldn’t be stuck in kennels or anything. I used Cats Protection fostering scheme when I first moved but they only foster the cats for 6 months so I took them back after that. I won’t be able to move to anywhere with more space any time soon.

I already contacted another charity about rehoming 2 as I mentioned before. I think it’s shitty of people to imply I’m being cruel to the cats, I did my best for them and I had to move to a smaller place as it was out of my control. People also implying that I neglect/don’t exercise my dogs just because I have indoor cats?? And of course the landlord knows about my pets, as I said above in my previous post

They’re healthy and fed and loved. Just because the cats don’t go outside doesn’t mean they’re suffering - yes maybe they’re stressed due to lack of space (which I already acknowledged and said in my first post I’m willing to rehome 2 of them) but there are a lot of people saying they should go outside (even the disabled ones). They’re my responsibility and I’m not going to let them go outside to be run over or attacked by other animals or lost or stolen.

OP posts:
slipperywhensparticus · 13/04/2019 03:41

Feed the cats in areas where you dont want them to toilet get a puzzle feeder too or just tape up a shoe box and bang a few holes in put some dreamies and toys in there mine love to hunt for food like that

Poppins2016 · 13/04/2019 03:43

I'm up with my baby so posting 'short and sweet':

Litter trays. You need one per cat, plus a spare. This is the standard recommendation.

You need to provide opportunities for 'hunting' and playing. I had one cat in a flat next to a busy main road for a year, so he couldn't go out (I could never do that again, he's such an outdoor cat now). A veterinary nurse who specialised in cats suggested the following:
Scrunch up newspaper and hide dry food in the middle. Don't bother with bowls - feeding them this way will be more stimulating and occupy them for longer.
Vary toys each day. Don't have everything on offer at once.
Go big. Get large items such as cardboard boxes, kitchen roll tubes/loo roll tubes and let them destroy. It's a pain to do this (along with hiding food in newspaper!) but fun for them and better than destroying items you love!

Alicewond · 13/04/2019 03:49

Please look to rehome them all, they aren’t here for your entertainment and none seem happy in this situation :(. You aren’t doing them any favours keeping them as you are

viccat · 13/04/2019 09:38

The OP is getting an unnecessarily hard time here about having indoor cats because some people will think anyone with indoor cats is cruel Hmm - of course she can't let a deaf cat or a sphynx cat go out!!! They would be at a huge risk. In most other parts of the world the majority of cats live indoors all their lives and are perfectly happy. Having indoor cats is not an issue, overcrowding is, and the OP knows that already...

Chocmallows · 13/04/2019 09:43

Can you temporarily put two in a cattery for your boyfriend and you to see how having fewer cats would work in reality?

I love my cat, but would find it hard to see over-crowding.

slipperywhensparticus · 13/04/2019 13:42

My three are indoors they are fine a bit kittenish so I have no wallpaper currently but apart from the glitter hate they are good

madcatladyforever · 14/04/2019 23:32

4 cats are really hard work, I've had 4 cats before now but I had a big garden and by the time they came in they just wanted to sleep, I cannot imagine how awful they would have been as inddor cats.
You really do need to rehome two of them as they are not happy.
They will use the litter trays properly when there are not so many other cats about.

SpoonBlender · 15/04/2019 00:06

You might get some small success by taking the lids off one or two of the litter trays. Unless the dogs go truffling for gold when you do that, which would be dangerous to them.

But basically you have too many creatures in too small a space - something has to give, and if you can't expand the space you'll have to reduce the count of creatures.

SpinneyHill · 15/04/2019 00:15

@viccat shes been getting a hard time about cramming 4 cats dog(s) and 2 humans in a flat when the cats are showing signs of being really unhappy
Its not about them being indoor cats it's about them not having enough space to hide, play and do their cat things