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Join our community of cat lovers on the Mumsnet Cat forum for kitten advice and help with cat behaviour.

Original poster

My beautiful cat, died.

53 replies

Margot33 · 31/03/2019 13:17

I am so sad that my elderly cat died this morning. After a night of fits, he collapsed and passed on. He was a rescue cat with a beautiful temperament and so clever too. Waiting for my husband to finish work to help me dig a hole in the garden. Feeling absolutely devastated, he was a beautiful member of my family.

OP posts:
SunshineCake · 03/04/2019 19:02

I am so sorry to read thisSadFlowers.

I lost my cat nearly seven years ago just before she would have been 19. Her ashes are in a wooden box with her name engraved on the front as I couldn't have buried her. This isn't our forever house and I didn't want to leave he behind.

Less than a month later we accidentally adopted two rescues and they helped so much though I'm full of guilt I'm no longer completely heartbroken. Still miss her so much.

Original poster
Margot33 · 03/04/2019 20:12

@SunshineCake oh my goodness 19 is an impressive age. I kniw what you mean, I'm feeling guilty. I don't know why because we loved him and fed him well. Do you think we feel guilty because we couldn't help them when they were dying? I wish now that I had mine cremated, as I hadn't thought about leaving him behind if we move house. I'm glad you have two beautiful rescues now. When I'm ready I'd like a pair I think, to keep each other company.

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Yogagirl123 · 03/04/2019 20:20

So sorry, devastating to lose a such a lovely cat. We lost our last cat nearly 3 years ago. It does get easier, but it takes time. Take each day as it comes, and if you feel ready to rehome another cat or cats that’s lovely, but take your time to decide.

SunshineCake · 03/04/2019 20:35

I feel guilty that I don't cry about her anymore but tbh I was so heartbroken it wouldn't have been healthy to carry on and I admit getting the two rescues definitely helped. We were all so sad we got two so that if one died we'd still have one. Since then we've got another rescue kitten and a puppy to go with the guinea pigs we already had…

We had her put to sleep a day too late really but we were guided by the vet and I think he wanted to give me time. The last night we knew though and I'll never forgive myself for that.

Original poster
Margot33 · 03/04/2019 21:00

Thank you @Yogagirl123, bless you. I think you're right, time is the biggest healer. I'm so sorry for your loss. When I'm ready we will all go to the rescue centre, and visit the cats a few times. See which ones want to come with us. I'd like adult cats again, as they're already streetwise and toilet trained!

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Original poster
Margot33 · 03/04/2019 21:10

@SunshineCake yes I can relate. At least you had an extra night with your beautiful cat. I think that if mine had started fitting on a week day I could have rushed him to the vet's. But because it started Saturday night and died Sunday morning, I feel guilty that he suffered. I slept with him all night so at least he wasn't alone. I'm making myself busy in the daytime to help take my mind off him.

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Ilovemypantry · 03/04/2019 21:10

I am so sorry for your loss OP.
I know exactly how you are feeling but it will get easier with time. When you feel ready (and it might be sooner than you think), go to the rescue centre and take home a cat (or two) that will fill the void in your heart.
It will never replace the cat you have lost, but will give you comfort and love.
Sending you love and hugs 💐

Original poster
Margot33 · 03/04/2019 21:21

@Ilovemypantry thank you for your kind words. I'm sorry that you've been through this too. I keep wishing that a homeless stray will just turn up! The children cant wait to visit the centre and meet the cats!

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SunshineCake · 04/04/2019 07:53

With us we were told it was time on the Monday and she was put to sleep on the Wednesday morning. With it being Tuesday night that we knew it was definitely time as she behaved differently, I feel Tuesday afternoon would have been better but I don't blame the vet though while being a great vet at the very end they weren't so good Sad.

We visited the rescue place very quickly and I didn't go to chose a cat but just to manage my first seeing a cat after mine had gone. Then two cats came out of hiding and they had never done that before so we thought it would be rude not to have them and they came home with us 2-3 weeks later.

Original poster
Margot33 · 04/04/2019 11:11

@SunshineCake how lovely, those two cats obviously knew you would make a good home for them. I'm glad you found your new friends.

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SunshineCake · 04/04/2019 13:01

Our three rescue cats. Just for your kind words, thank you.

My beautiful cat, died.
My beautiful cat, died.
My beautiful cat, died.
ChittyChittyBoomBoom · 04/04/2019 14:01

I’m so sorry but for your loss 💐.

We had our 18 year old cat out to sleep on Tuesday evening and we’re heartbroken 💔. The youngest children are already asking about another cat but I can’t even bare to think about that just yet 😢.

Original poster
Margot33 · 04/04/2019 14:06

@SunshineCake
Oh my goodness they are adorable. I especially love the one in the middle, he looks very cheeky! You lucky lady.

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OoohAyyye · 04/04/2019 14:11

Flowers for you OP. Losing our wonderful and beautiful pets is truly heart breaking.

SunshineCake · 04/04/2019 14:13

The one in the middle with the two colour face is a girl. She and the ginger boy have both got a lot more naughty since the kitten arrived…

Original poster
Margot33 · 04/04/2019 14:13

@ChittyChittyBoomBoom
I'm so sorry for your loss. It's heart breaking. 18 years old, that's such a good age! I know how you feel, my children keep asking to go look around the rescue centre to get another one. But it doesn't feel right right now, does it, too soon. Think we have to grieve first. Maybe in a couple of months we'll feel differently? I hope you feel better soon, sending you hugs.

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SunshineCake · 04/04/2019 14:14

Chitty. I'm so sorry for your loss. It's the price we pay for the love we get from our pets. Do what feels best but as I've said our rescues helped immensely with our heartbreak.

CabbageHippy · 04/04/2019 14:15

so sorry, I lost my little bear in January & miss her every single day.

Please don't rush into another one too soon though, have time to grieve

Original poster
Margot33 · 04/04/2019 14:17

@SunshineCake
She has a partner in crime! I can imagine them running around in the middle of the night and jumping on all the beds! The kitten will soon join in all their naughty antics!

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SunshineCake · 04/04/2019 14:19

It's the kitten leading the bad behaviour!

Original poster
Margot33 · 04/04/2019 14:24

@CabbageHippy
Thank you for your lovely message. I am so sorry for your loss. Its horrible to lose a pet. Yes I agree with you, I won't get one until I'm done grieving. I'm starting to feel a bit better but have still completely lost my appetite. One day I'll get to post pictures on here, of a/some lovely new cat(s) like @SunshineCake.

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Original poster
Margot33 · 04/04/2019 14:26

@SunshineCake
Haha how funny! 😂

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CoastalWave · 04/04/2019 14:37

Oh gosh I feel your pain. They become such a part of your heart. I agree with the poster who says take a paw print and some fur. My 15 yr old cat got taken off me by the vet who just announced he was 'past helping' and that was that. 20 year ago and I still get upset. There's no way a vet would get away with that now but I was young at the time and just in shock. We've just got a rescue cat, now 8 months old and from time to time he reminds me of my first cat and i get a little emotional. I wish I had more of my beloved first cat, I literally have about 5 blurry photos from the 80's. Look after yourself x

Original poster
Margot33 · 04/04/2019 20:47

@CoastalWave
I'm so sorry for your loss. 15 is a good age. I didn't take a paw print or fur cutting as I was too upset and 're death smell as unbearable. I needed to get his body outside not long after he passed. It still smells now. I'm sorry that the vet treated you that way, especially when you felt vunerable. I'm glad you have a new friend now.

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timtam23 · 04/04/2019 21:44

So sorry OP and everyone else who has lost an old friend. It is always hard to let them go. My 2 old cats died aged 18 and it was a huge change for me - they predated DH and the DCs, for years it had just been me and the cats. It does take a while to grieve and accustom to the loss but we have a young cat now who brings us a lot of joy :)