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Join our community of cat lovers on the Mumsnet Cat forum for kitten advice and help with cat behaviour.

Original poster

Cat started hissing at my one year old?!

48 replies

BiscuitsMcSnugglepuff · 02/10/2018 09:31

This is a bit of a what would you do question really, we have a cat who is about 6 years old. She is a lovely affectionate Maine coon and she is very loved.

For most of her life she was an indoor cat which lived with me, my husband and our other cat in a small one bed flat but at the beginning of the year we moved into a two bed house and now she spends some time outside in our enclosed garden. She’s not allowed upstairs but the living space is much bigger than she was used to.

Up until recently she was brilliant with our DS even when he crawled right up to her. We have taught him to be gentle pretty much as soon as he was mobile and is amazingly good at not pulling her hair and stroking her gently but he is always supervised just incase.

However, nowdays she has suddenly turned. Every time he approaches her she is hissing at him, often before he has even touched her. She’s also become more aggressive towards our other cat - but wants more attention from me and DH.

Though she hasn’t gone for DS yet I fear it’s only a matter of time as instead of being scared of her hiss he finds it hilarious and he then chases her around thinking it’s a game.

I don’t know what to do because I love my cat, she’s generally such a sweety but I’m really scared she will swipe him... and as he has only just turned one I fear it’s just the beginning 😔

OP posts:
RagamuffinCat · 02/10/2018 09:32

Has she been checked over by the vet, incase she is ill or in pain?

Spilledmycoffee · 02/10/2018 09:44

After you rule out medical problems, you might want to try making sure she has her own space to retreat to away from your ds. As you probably know, cats aren't great with change, and she's had a baby and a house change in the last year, then the baby learns to crawl, walk etc. And keeps making new strange noises. And at 6 years old she thought she knew what life was all about.

It seems like shes taken it in her stride so far but something has just become too much for her. Does she have somewhere nice and high up she can get to out of reach of your ds? Perhaps you could put up a couple of shelves for her to jump up on to. And maybe she could be allowed upstairs if you keep bedroom doors closed, as she would learn that your ds cant follow her over the stair gate. She is probably feeling a bit trapped as it is x

AllAtHome · 02/10/2018 09:46

Keep your ds away from her. She’s probably (and understandably) scared now he’s more mobile. She needs somewhere safe to escape and hide.

Original poster
BiscuitsMcSnugglepuff · 02/10/2018 10:09

She’s not showing any signs of being ill, other than the hissing she is acting pretty normal!

There is a stair gate at the top and bottom of stairs and she can go on the landing if she liked, just not in the upstairs rooms (our other cat sleeps in a cat bed at the top of the stairs) but she chooses not to. For some strange reason she took to an old baby bath I had brought down to take to a charity shop so we ended up keeping it - it’s currently on our kitchen table with a blanket in it... not what I call good decor but she liked it and it was out of the way so we kept it. She also has a cat tree she can sit on to get out of reach. Problem is, she likes to sit on the arm of the sofa - which as baby is now cruising and in the beginnings of learning to walk he is pretty constantly passing, and if she’s there he likes to stroke her because he adores the cats and up until the past week or so she actively sought him out!

As for the comment to keep DS away from her... that’s far easier said than done! Have you tried to reason with a 12 month old?! 😂

OP posts:
Original poster
BiscuitsMcSnugglepuff · 02/10/2018 10:11

** dining table not kitchen table!

OP posts:
AllAtHome · 02/10/2018 18:18

As for the comment to keep DS away from her... that’s far easier said than done! Have you tried to reason with a 12 month old?!

You would keep him away from all manner of dangers without having to reason with him (fire/ oven/ pond etc). She (without meaning to) is a 'danger' to him.

That’s why you have to turn it around and provide her with places to escape from him when he approaches her.

MrsGrindah · 02/10/2018 18:25

Sorry but cats just don’t know what children and babies are. She is feeling threatened by him hence the warning. You do have to keep them apart or consider rehoming. Harsh I know but I’m a cat lover who had the same problem and I simply couldn’t have little children in my home. You would never forgive yourself if she did bite or scratch would you?

gamerchick · 02/10/2018 18:28

You still have to rule out illness. Cats are masters at hiding shit.

Then take it from there.

Maybe a plug in to help calm her down a bit?

Original poster
BiscuitsMcSnugglepuff · 02/10/2018 18:51

Of course I have to keep him away from dangers, but obviously I limit any possible dangers as best I can. However he loves the cat and she is ever present, whereas I don’t often have a pond in my living room! And she has been provided with safe spaces (as previous post)

Funnily enough he offered her his toy car this afternoon and she was rubbing up against his hand, but later when he approached her in the same spot she was not so welcoming - which makes it even stranger because surely if she was feeling threatened she wouldn’t be so up and down with him

OP posts:
MrsGrindah · 02/10/2018 18:57

You are trying to apply human reasoning to a cat..she can’t explain why she feels threatened she just does. It’s nobodys fault but you just need to find a way to keep them apart whilst he’s still so little

bullyingadvice2017 · 02/10/2018 19:01

Water squirter , they don't like it, used that to stop my cat chasing the other pets and scratching stuff.

SilverHairedCat · 02/10/2018 19:01

You need to get her checked over, and you need to keep your child away from her.

Yes it may be difficult, but you'll never forgive yoursekf if he injures the cat or if she claws his face in retaliation because he's been chasing her around the house.

You can't blame a cat for not wanting to be chased by a toddler.

Maybe it's time to let the cats upstairs, perhaps she needs more room away from the child?

SilverHairedCat · 02/10/2018 19:02

And no bloody water squirters 🙄

Original poster
BiscuitsMcSnugglepuff · 02/10/2018 19:41

I will arrange to get her checked over (and sorry, I think I will avoid the water squirter... she’s terrorfied if water and I think that will exacerbate the problem!)

And I can try and keep them apart, but it is near impossible as he is learning to walk and as most babies do, is using the sofa to hold on to... and the cat is insisting on sitting on the arm of the sofa! She sleeps in the bath (as mentioned earlier) and that’s well out of the way, no trouble. There are plenty of places for her, including the landing upstairs, there is also a gate to the hall and kitchen so they are safe and there is outside. They have a large sectioned off area in the living room for their litter and food which baby can’t get to - so it’s really not like she is without a safe place! She is just choosing to sit in a spot that baby will walk past frequently and that has always been fine until now. DS really is very gentle as well, he doesn’t pull her hair or anything, I’ve never seen a toddler use such slow measured movements, its quite impressive! And he doesn’t chase her unless she hisses because he thinks it’s funny!

No I would not forgive myself if either of them got hurt which is why I wanted advice in the first place, and hoped someone had gone through it and come out the other side... feels like it became more of a witch hunt though! 😂

OP posts:
MrsGrindah · 02/10/2018 19:46

No witch hunt! You’ve got some good advice here .

Wolfiefan · 02/10/2018 19:51

Unfortunately by teaching him to be kind you’ve kind of made the cat seem attractive and interesting. If that makes any sense. Better to teach leave cat alone unless it approaches you.
Why can’t the cat go upstairs? Surely that would give it more space from your DS.
It is entirely possible he fell or threw something or dropped something and hurt her (by accident) and she’s reacting to that. Cats remember real and imagined hurts! Grin

Original poster
BiscuitsMcSnugglepuff · 02/10/2018 20:52

haha I think either way he was going to love our cats, he was besotted with them from the moment he could see! Any animals really, even if he sees an animal on tv he is instantly smiling and chatting 😊

To be honest, before I was pregnant they had bedroom access in our old place but then due to concerns over hidden nasties I decided better safe than sorry - but it was the other cat who slept in our room, this one wasn’t bothered. Then when we moved baby was in our room for a while so didn’t want them joining him in his cot, and equally didn’t want them fuzzing up all the stuff in his room and it’s just kind of stuck from there! They don’t scratch at the doors up there or anything so I don’t think that actually bothers them, it’s just this one problem spot! Otherwise they are quite chilled

OP posts:
Wolfiefan · 02/10/2018 20:56

Our cats aren’t in the kids’ rooms but can go in ours. It’s great he loves animals and is learning to be gentle but he’s too young to read the signs that a cat wants fuss or to be left alone. He needs to leave it in peace.

CaptSkippy · 02/10/2018 21:09

I think it's maybe a territorial thing. She doesn't mind going to him, but that spot on the couch is HER spot and she does not want the baby near, since she know he will try to touch her and wake her, so she is marking her spot.

Can you teach your child to only pet the cat if she comes towards him?

Wolfiefan · 02/10/2018 21:11

Totally depends on the child! Luckily my cats stayed mostly clear until my kids were old enough to know when they wanted a fuss. Can you prevent DS reaching that particular spot somehow?

Original poster
BiscuitsMcSnugglepuff · 02/10/2018 22:00

You could be right regarding the territory thing, but it’s impossible to stop him going to it! The way the room is laid out he can pretty much walk around it by holding onto tables, stair gates, desk, sofa and so on. That arm of the sofa is where he spends a lot of his time because on one side there is our big French doors which face the garden, then the stairs with stair gate which is easy for him to hold onto and then the arm of the sofa which leads him more central to the room....

I really wish the cat would just pick another spot to sit in 🤦‍♀️ Haha

OP posts:
Strawberrymelon · 02/10/2018 22:22

My ds has a faint scar down the middle of his forehead. A cat scratched him when he was five years old. The scratch went from the top of his forehead down to near his eye. I felt so guilty that I had let that happen to ds. It could have been so much worse if his eye had been scratched. I would never let a toddler approach a cat. Cats are so unpredictable.

We have a very calm cat now who loves ds but she does spend a lot of time away from him in her own spaces or in one of the bedrooms.

Wolfiefan · 02/10/2018 22:25

You can’t train cats. You can put up room dividers or put a table or another piece of furniture to block access.

CaptSkippy · 03/10/2018 09:07

If you can teach your son not to approach the cat unless she approaching him, then that would immediately a good lesson for all animals, as some dogs don't react to well with strangers trying to pet them either.

However if he is still too young to learn then you may have to think of either rehoming him or banning the cat from the living room for the time being. I know it suck, but he will get older and can learn to leave the cat alone. So it's a temperary situation if you do decide to keep the cat.

CaptSkippy · 03/10/2018 09:08

Argh, I meant rehoming her, not your DS. OMG I need more coffee before I post some more on this forum today,

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