Cat started hissing at my one year old?!

[BiscuitsMcSnugglepuff]

This is a bit of a what would you do question really, we have a cat who is about 6 years old. She is a lovely affectionate Maine coon and she is very loved.

For most of her life she was an indoor cat which lived with me, my husband and our other cat in a small one bed flat but at the beginning of the year we moved into a two bed house and now she spends some time outside in our enclosed garden. She’s not allowed upstairs but the living space is much bigger than she was used to.

Up until recently she was brilliant with our DS even when he crawled right up to her. We have taught him to be gentle pretty much as soon as he was mobile and is amazingly good at not pulling her hair and stroking her gently but he is always supervised just incase.

However, nowdays she has suddenly turned. Every time he approaches her she is hissing at him, often before he has even touched her. She’s also become more aggressive towards our other cat - but wants more attention from me and DH.

Though she hasn’t gone for DS yet I fear it’s only a matter of time as instead of being scared of her hiss he finds it hilarious and he then chases her around thinking it’s a game.

I don’t know what to do because I love my cat, she’s generally such a sweety but I’m really scared she will swipe him... and as he has only just turned one I fear it’s just the beginning 😔

captskippy that one made me laugh... wish I could regime him sometimes when he’s keeping me awake at 2 in the morning

I think he is too young to understand to be honest, but unfortunately if she was banned from the living room she would only have the small kitchen and hallway and no access to outside... eurg! I wish she had the good sense to stay in one of the comfy out of the way spots like our other cat! 😔

• rehome him 😂

Is she on s blanket on the arm of the sofa? Maybe you could move that and hope that she goes with it?

Unfortunately not sigh could have otherwise been a good idea!

Don’t rehome. Keep child away from HER spot. Why can’t she go upstairs?
Have you tried Feliway?
Cat proof the garden to give her an escape?

When I was little our cat used to love being in the room with other people, but she liked to be left alone. So my Dad put a really high shelf in the living room and kitchen which she could sleep on (she had a bed up there too), but mainly, it was so that she could watch people but also stay high and out of the way. - It may be that she wants to be around people, but not be touched?

Your DS has changed from a baby who you took over to stroke Dcat gently or just crawling over to Dcat, to a baby who has suddenly grown (crawling to standing) in a short period of time to Dcat. He may be gentle but he is suddenly probably at face level with Dcat if he is stood at the arm of a chair and she is lying on it. Dcats can get a bit wary if someone is suddenly in their face.

PP idea of a high shelf where she can watch the room without being accessible is a good one. Maybe above the Sofa so a similar area but where DS can't get at her so easily.

You can still put a blanket down and after a week move the blanket somewhere else. She might move with it

I would get rid of the cat. Doesn't really matter if your son is supervised at all times. The cat is a lot faster than you and if it decides to take a swipe at your DS there's not much your going to be able to do about it.

Read up on kids being ‘magnetised’ to animals. It’s best to nip this in the bud asap, your child should not ever be approaching the cat.

wolfiefan I appreciate the time your taking to respond, but keeping him away from that spot is literally impossible! And as in previous posts she can go upstairs just not in the rooms and I even bought her a lovely cat bed which is on the landing at the top of the stairs but she didn’t take to it (her furry sibling however hardly gets out of it now!)

The way the room is she could sit on the stairs and still be able to see the room (they are directly behind the sofa and you can see the whole room from them) but she chooses not to.

The blanket idea could be a good approach, but my guess is that the little man would whip it off the sofa in a second! She does have a blanket in her baby bath bed which she spends most of her time sleeping in, I think it’s just that she likes sitting and looking out at the garden from the arm of the chair.

Maybe I will try feliway, she just seems to be a bit up and down at the moment and the last thing I want to do is rehome her really as she is and always has been my furbaby... but obviously I also have to think of the safety of my baby baby!

thatstheend that is my greatest fear, I really don’t want him to get swiped - I don’t think she would go that far but you can never be 100%

I am very cautious with his safety (maybe OTT in some cases!) and I generally I would do anything to keep a possible danger away from him but obviously this is harder to consider because we all have a strong emotional attachment to the potential threat.

At the same time I would never forgive myself if he got hurt.

I would defo try the blanket thing.

Other than that you just need to be really hot on supervising when they're in the room together, to the point of hovering over him basically. I found DS1 was lovely with animals when he was little and then as he went through that second year he got more and more rough because he didn't understand that animals aren't toys, and it was a nightmare as our cat wouldn't steer clear of him. If I'd known about the magnetising thing I think I might have been on that but I hadn't heard of it at the time. I found that removing him just made him go straight back and think it was a game. He was too little for anything like time out to have any effect. What I found in the end to work was I would pick up the cat and put him on my lap. For your sofa situation, you could just sit next to the cat while your DS cruises around, so you can be a kind of barrier between them. If you can't sit down with him and you can't hover around DS, like if you're popping in and out of the room, then you'll need to put DS somewhere like a playpen or activity centre/jumperoo or take him to another room with you.

You could also look at one of those babydan playpen/gate things and make a bit of a barrier around that bit of sofa like a fireguard? It won't look that pretty, but it will only be temporary.

I definitely wouldn't rehome - worst that is likely to happen is your DS will get a scratch or a bite and will become more wary of the cat. It's not like a cat can maul a child like dogs can.

Yes that sounds like a great idea, take the risk of the child being scratched across the face or bitten so he learns his lesson 😂 priceless.

There is no way you can use a baby dan or a table or anything else to stop the child getting at the cat? A fire guard. Move the sofa? Let the cat in your bedroom at least?
Your child will get hurt if it keeps bothering the cat.
You seem to be looking for an excuse to get rid of the cat instead of doing all you can to make her relax and be safe in her own home.

Sounds like you had a pretty similar situation there bertie ! I do have to be pretty on the ball with them, as soon as he approaches her I go over - and weirdly she is fine if I am stroking her at the same time she will even nestle into his hand! But she doesn’t learn to sit in any of the other million suitable spots, but she will move if she does cry or hiss (which happens in the split second before I get there) but it’s just worrying if one day she will swipe and I won’t be there quick enough. You are right that cats can’t do as much damage as dogs but I get very paranoid about cat claws to the eyes.

He does have a play pen in the living room which he goes into if I need to nip to the kitchen or upstairs.

Here is an example for you, I am currently sitting with them in the living room. DS approached cat and I was there, she stroked her and she purred and rubbed her head on him. I moved to get something on the other side of the sofa... so really not far or for long... he continued doing what he was doing and she decided to cry and run off - but a second before she was all sweet and affectionate!

He needs to leave her alone!!!!

Hi OP

Some great advice here. My mum owns a cat, she was a rescue who didn't like children/other animals. My sister and I were older teenagers when she got her, so she had a life of relative 'peace' away from small humans for over a decade till my DS came along.

Cats are his favourite thing in the world (he has good taste) so naturally he always wanted to be near the cat when we went to visit. She reacted at the start by hissing and running away. However, I taught DS to 'look but don't touch' and 'leave her be' and slowly over time introduced gentle stroking, only on her head and top of the back, but then to retreat after a couple of strokes.

She's an older cat too, but does now tolerate him, and he knows as soon as I say enough/leave her be he will. I haven't and wouldn't leave them alone.

It's hard when they both live together, but by teaching him to stay away and only approach when it is safe/when invited/under your direct supervision then you can hopefully work towards a calmer and more positive relationship between them.

I would genuinely love to try something like you tobearock I’m just not sure of it’s success in such close quarters - that and I really don’t think he is old enough to understand. I can and do use the art of distraction as much as possible, but that doesn’t always work. He is at the stage where everything is a strop though so I imagine it is currently less frightening to her to be stroked once or twice by him than have a screaming baby stomping after her because mummy took him away! I think it’s just a tricky age because he’s getting his mobility (and can be quite nippy when he wants to be!) but doesn’t have any understanding of do’s or dont’s. This isn’t the only area where this is a problem - I am forever saving his fingers from draws and he hasn’t learnt that one yet either!

TBH I think you probably need to be much more stringent about the supervision - you can't really get away with reaching to the other end of the sofa to grab something. It sounds like she only feels secure with him when you're right there and gets anxious when you're not which is why she is becoming defensive, and may swipe. You do really need to drop everything and concentrate 100% when they are in the room together, it's like having a squirmy rolly baby on a changing table - if you suddenly realise that you need to get a new pack of wipes from the cupboard across the room, you can't leave them there, you have to take them with you even if they are half naked covered in poo. You need that level of supervision really.

If you do have to take him away and he screams at least she's not hurting him, that seems to be more of a concern than whether or not the cat is upset.

You're right he absolutely won't understand cause and effect yet but as he gets older this will become easier.

Thank you Bertie, it is a very good analogy, your right. Think it’s just going to be difficult for a while, hoping things don’t get worse...! 😔

My cat, although very sweet, is moody. There are times when she objects to being touched but at the same time is quite happy to approach me and give me 'loves', I just can't reciprocate. The next day she reverts to enjoying being petted. Could your cat have the same 'syndrome' ?

On a practical note, I would make the sofa arm a less comfortable spot for your cat so she moves on. A bit harsh but not as awful as a nasty cat scratch to the face of a babe.