Is being pinned into bed by cats a legitimate reason to miss mass?!

[Toddlerteaplease]

Felt very guilty about having to disturb them so I could get up. Was completely pinned in on both sides!

Aww! I've no idea about the ethics of missing Mass but I've become expert at manoeuvring myself out of spaces while leaving the cats undisturbed.

Totally good enough.

Being pinned into bed by cat(s) (number irrelevant) is a good enough reason to miss anything.

Definitely - you have Cataplexy - this form is cat induced paralysis

Stay in and worship the cat overlords instead

Well if you think about it... God loves all creatures. He can also see everything. So with that logic god can see that you are making your cats happy so would definitely forgive you

Practising Catholic and would-be cat slave here. Missing mass is a very serious thing and shouldn't be done lightly. However, given that you clearly answer to an even higher authority than God, the wishes of the Feline Masters must be obeyed and God would understand.

Can you not go to the evening mass?

No I can't go to the evening mass as I'm at work this afternoon. I converted our previous bishop to being a crazy cat man. So I'm sure he'd have given me absolution for not going!

(Obviously I did go though!)

On the basis that most cats are the instrument of Satan then I expect they were doing it on purpose.
Similarly I had to turf Basil of my lap this morning to go to the CofE and I did wonder if Basil could be an excuse (I could have claimed he was named after a Saint )

Well, my two came from St Francis Persian rescue. I'm sure he could have put a word in!

In the C of E missing church isn't a mortal sin though! You'd have been ok.

Ah DS2 is the organist (and he needs a lift from me) - I suspect the organist failing to turn up would be a mortal sin

If you are Catholic then nothing is an excuse but I think C of E should be okay.

Saying that I have often not hoovered in a room or asked people to sit on the floor if my boys are asleep

Wikipedia turned up this very lovely story about how the Prophet Muhammad dealt with a similar situation involving his cat Muezza:

"The most famous story about Muezza recounts how the call to prayer was given, and as Muhammad went to put on one of his robes, he found his cat sleeping on one of the sleeves. Instead of disturbing the cat he cut off the sleeve and let her sleep."

The same article mentions that:

"In Catholicism, the patron saint of cats is Saint Gertrude of Nivelles,"

• so perhaps St Gertrude would be the one to appeal to if this happens in future.

ScreamingValenta. I've seen it suggested that the stories about Mohammed and cats are the reason why cats have not traditionally been persecuted in Muslim countries whereas many Christian countries have had a less pleasant history (burning witches cats, entombing cats in walls etc). The bible doesn't actually mention cats once - a spectacular failing!

That makes a lot of sense, Grumpy. The middle ages and 17th Century were not good times to be a cat in Britain.

God is a cat so she would understand. If you disturbed your cats you would make her imminent acquaintance. That she would NOT be impressed with.

That's a lovely story Valenta. I was very surprised that my friend loves it when his cats join him in his chapel. The one place I thought would be out of bounds. They sometimes join him for mass.

Your bishop friend is not alone, we had a Catholic priest who was a friend of the family. In his later years he was "adopted" by a black and white cat. The cat became used to his routine and would join him in his morning prayers and then lead the way to breakfast!

I tried to get him to change their names to Episcopuss, Catachumen or Catolic. But my suggestions were vetoed.

Last time I sang in Wells Cathedral - there was an incumbent cat, which during the morning service suddenly appeared from under the alter having been previously hidden by the altar cloth. Kept the choir amused

There was a series of books about 15 years ago called Church cats, cathedral cats, cloister cats etc.