We have a cat. I feel like a terrified new parent.

[dameofdilemma]

We have a (grown up, spayed, vaccinated, gentle) cat. I've never had a pet or been around animals.

Dp and dd wanted a cat, dp is looking after it and showing dd how to but sometimes I'll be home alone with it. I'm not really sure what I'm supposed to do apart from feed it.

The cat follows us around meowing. I have eczema so can't handle it/stroke it much or have it on my lap.
Yesterday it curled up next to me and fell asleep while I made soothing noises. I tiptoed out trying not to wake it. It woke up and followed me meowing until I sat with it again.

We can't let it outside for a few weeks so maybe once it can venture out it'll stop looking so forlorn.

I tried playing with it but it wasn't interested in any of the toys we bought it. It ignores its cat bed too and instead sleeps in front of the fish tank.

This feels harder than when dd was a baby!

Oh dear. The cat is trying to figure out why you don't like 'it' (him or her) and thinks s/he is not trying hard enough to please you ... Could you not wear thin cotton gloves to stroke him/her?

you can get special grooming gloves which she might enjoy?
www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B01KUYM7P6/ref=asc_df_B01KUYM7P652336348/?hvlocphy=9046551&linkCode=df0&hvptwo&hvnetw=g&hvadid=237404336331&creative=22122&hvpone&hvlocint&creativeASIN=B01KUYM7P6&hvpos=1o2&hvdev=c&hvdvcmdl&hvqmt&tag=mumsnetforum-21&hvtargid=pla-420246953710&hvrand=3904847100614296862

welcome to life as a cat slave

Oh no :(
I do like him...sort of, I just don't really know what to do/not do.

Dp and dd stroke him and he still meows at them. He doesn't seem to want to be held or sit on anyone's lap yet.

Its only day 2, maybe he'll settle in a few days. It must be a big change from being in a little pen in the cats home.

I always thought cats were a bit 'couldn't care less' about humans!

Queen - do they really like that glove??

Cats don't meow at each other apparently. It's a special noise they reserve for their humans!

Just chat back to him, it'll turn into a "conversation".

Tiger do those grooming gloves for about £3.

My two love the little fabric stuffed mice - they ignore balls, treat toys, but carry the toys around and yowl as they do so. I can tell if they have one in their mouth due to the noise...

You're doing fine, he's just laying down the law with you. You realise you're his slave, not his mother, yes? He needs to make sure you understand, and accept, your new role.

He may never be a lapcat, or want to be held. Mine used to spend as much time as possible on my lap, but rarely does these days. But she will sit next to us on the sofa, or on the bed. She spends an awful lot of time moaning at us, especially when we're not paying her (enough) attention. Think of your new overlord as a pharoah, he needs his underlings to be there to serve him, and needs to check, on a regular basis, that they're obedient and will jump up as soon as he enters a room, but he's not going to actually socialise with them (hence the 'couldn't care less').

If he's following you around it suggests that he loves you, and wants to be with you. And anyway, he'd not given you permission to leave!

Carry on doing what you're doing, you sound just fine!

Only day two? And he's sitting next to you and following you? I'd say you're on a winner there! It will take him a while to settle and start running the joint yet. I bet you will eventually fall in lurve. Let him lead - miaowing is good - he's communicating with you. Each cat has their own unique language (many different miaows and other sounds) - you will learn his eventually.

Where is the obligatory photo?

Can tell you are new to the Litter Tray!

Yes, to the glove. Awesome, amazing things. We have one and the cats love it. It's also fab for lifting pet hair off clothes and soft furnishings.

Just talk to him. Give him a little rub between the ears, buy him some dried catnip and sprinkle it onto a flat scratchboard.

Cats are fabulous and after two days, seems you have a very contented pet already. Most of our rescues were still hiding under a bed at that point!

I'd also buy some soft cotton gloves so you can stroke him. He really will just want some attention and love. Mine follow me about, they seem to take it in turns but Pixie in particular likes to know what I'm doing all the time and just follows me from room to room. I just talk to her and she is fine with that.

Our cat loved the grooming glove and it's really good at getting loose fur off. It sounds like you have a new friend for life.

Think of your new overlord as a pharoah, he needs his underlings to be there to serve him, and needs to check, on a regular basis, that they're obedient and will jump up as soon as he enters a room,

This!! give it a week and you will be besotted.
Ps. I didn't even see one of mine for a week, so you are doing well!

My cats like chasing a ribbon and a laser pointer. Yours sounds like he's trying to tell you something! One of mine talks all the time with chirps and parps as well as miaows. I just talk back to him like a good crazy cat lady!

My Girlcat is a very self-possessed cat, and everything is on HER terms. But if I'm on the PC in the study she sits in the doorway & cries at me until I go into the other room with her. She isn't usually after anything except for me to be in the same room as her, I think she likes having company.

If your skin will take it try very gently scratching behind his ears, some cats absolutely adore that. Also on his back, just forward of the tail is favoured by most again a gentle scritching action.

As he seems to enjoy company, he may prefer toys where you can interact with him e.g. a laser pointer, or a "fishing pole" type toy like Da Bird so it's like real hunting for them.

What type of toys did you buy? And does the cat have access to a window to watch what's going on outside? Find out what your cat likes. My cat likes fluffy toys and cat wands with a small thing to chase

www.petsathome.com/shop/en/pets/kitten/kitten-toys/skinneeez-cat-teaser-wand?orderBy=1

these are her favourite and we have to replace them every month because she loves them so much. Also furry kickers.

She also likes the sound of rustling and tunnels. She enjoys being high up but all cats are different. I would take some time to get to know what makes your cat tick.

Do you have a scratching post/ cat tree? Mine like the huge one we have in the kitchen

OK so a laser pointer and grooming glove are on the list. We have the fabric mice.

So we'll just hang out with him when we're home and talk back when he meows. He's taken my favourite living room chair. I've deferred and moved. I am pathetic.

He's definitely not hiding and seems very curious. And scratching all the carpets and rugs (instead of his scratch post).

We had several carpet samples around the house, they were only 50p each, which stopped the carpet scratching. Have you put some cardboard boxes made into houses yet.

Aw, I love it when humans are tamed by cats. You’ll be fine, OP. Just love him and hang out with him.

Mine hates scratching posts but loves the flat cardboard ones like these
https://m.petplanet.co.uk/p13928/goodgirlcattonaturecardcatscratcher.aspx?ptmsource=google&ptmmedium=shopping&ptmcampaign=negativerisk59031&campaign=324014531&adgroup=24641885651&keyword=&gclid=EAIaIQobChMI1YmXhsD22gIVTJPtCh1BaQG9EAQYAiABEgKqHPD_BwE

Mostly mine sleeps on me, demands cuddles, looks out the window, occasionally plays or zooms around or moans at me that it's raining/another cat is looking at him funny/he doesn't like his food

Oh if you get da bird toy or a laser then it's no contact with the fur
Mine loves to sit on a blanket or pillow on my knee if that's an option, and he likes being brushed (but mine is a weirdo)

Cats take differing amounts of time to settle in OP. Our rescues have ranged from being 'at home' from day one, to a few days or weeks, and there was one we didn't even see for about 6 weeks - just heard the hissing from his hiding place if we happened to pass by!

The funny thing is, I've often found cats gravitate towards the person who is less keen on them. Perhaps you are his 'chosen one' precisely because you don't make a fuss, and he will gradually win you over. He might be very good company for you, in the end. It's very early days.

It's perfectly normal for cats to ignore the beds we've chosen for them and choose their own. Make sure you have a good scratching post - cats often ignore the shorter ones as they like a good stretch. If he scratches elsewhere, quickly but calmly move the post over to him. If you feel more confident and he'll tolerate it, gently but firmly lift him up and put him on the scratching post. The 'fishing' toys, (furry things on a string and pole), and ping pong balls have always been popular here. We've never had a cat take to laser pointers, but plenty do.

Our current chap spent the first 3 days or so curled up asleep on a DC's lap. It was as if he was sleeping off some of the stress. Luckily this DC likes to read, play with Lego and watch films, so they were occupied but had to be taken meals and drinks and only left to go to the loo and at bedtimes. Funnily enough, this DC, (despite being experienced with, and loving, all creatures great and small), was actually quite scared of this cat, (think very large, very stressed after abuse and neglect, loud to the point of everyone needing ear defenders). Those first 3 days started the bonding process however, and 3 years or so on they are as thick as thieves with cuddles and very rough and tumble play.

Just relax OP, and let your new family member come to you on his terms. If his basic needs are met, you don't actually have to 'do' anything except provide company and kindness. You've done a good thing, giving an adult rescue cat a good home.

Sitting elsewhere because you don't want to move the cat is not pathetic. It's exactly as it should be! You are being a very good cat slave !

Yesterday it curled up next to me and fell asleep while I made soothing noises. I tiptoed out trying not to wake it. It woke up and followed me meowing until I sat with it again.

10/10. All you have to do is obey instructions.

That's not a joke

They do like to hang out with humans, they like the company. You don’t have to do much except feed fuss and play.

When he starts going out you might notice he pops back every so often to make sure you haven’t moved out in the last half hour.

Our cat chats away constantly. Chirping, miaowing, purring - I either narrate whatever mundane thing “we’re” doing (“now we’ll empty the dishwasher” or say things like “oh, I know”). She follows me around like a dog, and generally wants to be in the room one of us is in. This is less endearing at 5am when she leaps on me, purrs in my face, then walks over me to get to DP. (We should shut her in the kitchen, but I haven’t the heart.)