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The litter tray

Join our community of cat lovers on the Mumsnet Cat forum for kitten advice and help with cat behaviour.

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Original poster

My beautiful girl has gone

27 replies

Sleeping123 · 29/12/2017 10:27

My beautiful girl passed away on Christmas Eve. She was a grand old lady aged eighteen but I miss her so much it is so painful. I just don't know what to do with myself to make the pain go away. Her death is haunting me a bit and was quite distressing as she had a lung tumour of which we were unaware until the day she died. Her breathing just became laboured until she couldn't breathe then she was PTS as it was clear this couldn't go on. The vets have just phoned to say her ashes are ready for collection. Everywhere there are reminders, her scratching post, her bed, her food, brushes and litter tray. I loved her so much but can't stop breaking down. I have kids and other cats which obviously help but the pain is so bad. Can anyone offer words of comfort and hand hold ? She was a beautiful gentle girl, with a loud slow purr, and beautiful vibrant tiger stripes. She loved to sit on my knee and would greet me at the door. I just feel lost.

OP posts:

RaindropsAndSparkles · 29/12/2017 10:30

It must have been a difficult Christmas but what a lucky girl she was to have you to live her.

BluebellTheDonkey · 29/12/2017 10:33

I'm so sorry for your loss We went through similar with my 18 yr old girl, she went into critical heart failure but her passing was not peaceful, she fought the injection and her breathing was laboured at the end. Eventually the happy memories will overtake the sad ones.
If you have any photos you'd like to share I would love to see them. She was a lucky girl to have had so much love for so long. RIP dear puss.

Taffeta · 29/12/2017 10:38

for you OP.

I still feel the pain of our 18 yo family cat that died 30 years ago.

Photos of her are priceless. Go easy on yourself. x

Original poster

Sleeping123 · 29/12/2017 11:14

I will PM you some pics if you like?

OP posts:

Original poster

Sleeping123 · 29/12/2017 11:15

Thanks so much it helps to know there's others that understand. It's made harder by the fact so many in life don't understand the deep bond we have with our pets

OP posts:

Weedsnseeds1 · 29/12/2017 11:27

It's difficult when you lose a much loved pet, but when it's their time you have to help them go as gently as possible.
Post a picture on here, we'll all tell you how beautiful she was.

Original poster

Sleeping123 · 29/12/2017 11:29

My beautiful girl

OP posts:

BulletFox · 29/12/2017 11:45

Hand hold

She's beautiful. But no longer in pain. You had a long, lovely time together :)

Shinesweetfreedom · 29/12/2017 11:56

Get a couple of cushions.Go to a room on your own.Hold the cushions as tight as you can to your chest in a bear hug,and cry or what ever feels right.There is grief and anger and this will help.Yes I know you are thinking I am crazy but I understand where you are.

Fingermoose · 29/12/2017 12:06

What a beautiful cat, OP. We lost my old girl in her late teens - I'd had her since primary school and she's been gone for 8 years but I still expect to see her on my bed when we visit my parents. The good memories will come forward again (and how lucky she was so have someone who loved her as much as you do).

Weedsnseeds1 · 29/12/2017 12:22

She was, indeed, gorgeous. Beautiful markings and a wise face.

TheSecondOfHerName · 29/12/2017 12:43

She was beautiful. We lost our old girl just over two years ago. The first few weeks were the hardest.

Taffeta · 29/12/2017 13:02

What a beautiful cat. RIP puss

Original poster

Sleeping123 · 29/12/2017 13:03

Thanks so much. She was a marble bengal, very friendly and vocal! We have kittens too who are nine months old so they are definitely helping distract a bit. Especially for the kids. I'm glad we got them when we did as it would have been unbearable with no pets at all x

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DunedinGirl · 29/12/2017 13:05

What a gorgeous cat. I wanted to extend my sympathies to you. I've been in your position and it is so hard. After the initial grief and pain, I felt comforted later knowing that we had done the right thing by him once we knew he was so poorly and that he also knew how much he was loved. I still miss him.

BluebellTheDonkey · 29/12/2017 13:24

Sorry only just got back to this thread. What a beautiful cat. I would be delighted to see more pics if you still feel like sending them.

LavenderDoll · 29/12/2017 13:25

OP she's beautiful. I'm so sorry for your loss. At least she is no longer in pain. Be kind to yourself .

Original poster

Sleeping123 · 29/12/2017 14:09

It's hard to get your head around the fact that a living being is breathing, sleeping, walking and then nothing. The end did traumatise me a bit. Keeps playing on my mind. The vet started up this noisy shaver and started shaving her paw for the injection. It all felt brutal and rushed.

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BulletFox · 29/12/2017 14:13

Oh Christ, you shouldn't have been there for that bit.

Post on here when you want to talk about her. What was she called?

Checklist · 29/12/2017 14:50

I am sorry for your loss. I did not stop crying for 4 days, when our 16 year old had to be pts!

While her being pts did not go in an ideal way, at least it was probably quicker and less painful overall, than struggling to breathe for an indeterminate length of time? Not being able to breathe is awful!

Original poster

Sleeping123 · 29/12/2017 15:33

Well she had almost passed away anyway when we got back. So she did struggle with the breathing thing but was sedated and given oxygen to Keep her comfortable. They wanted to put her to sleep though . None of us wanted to prolong it anymore. I always thought it would be more peaceful death but it's not really. Her eyes were open too. I didn't realise that . Open but unseeing. V hard to forget. I think I'm just shocked by the whole thing. She was a lovely girl and so patient with the kids. She was six years old when we had our first child and she's always been amazing with the kids. So gentle. She always sat with them up until recently whilst they did homework. She loved food! She was a joy x

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MrsBertBibby · 31/12/2017 10:08

What a beauty! I'm so sorry she's gone.

It sounds as if she had about as splendid a life as a cat can have, and repaid you handsomely.

Dreading my old bat of a cat going.

Topseyt · 01/01/2018 02:45

I am so sorry for your loss. It is so very hard. She was a beautiful girl.

I understand too how you are feeling. I had to take my 16 year old ginger boy cat to be put to sleep on Christmas morning. He had spinal problems which we were unaware of until they suddenly became catastrophic late at night on Christmas Eve.

I keep seeing empty spaces around the house where he liked to hang out, and I am just awaiting the call from the vets to say his ashes are ready to collect. I intend to keep them on his favourite perch, which was our hall windowsill. My 15 year old DD has also done me a beautiful painting of him, and DH has put it on the wall today.

Pets are family. It is a big bereavement. Hugs to you, and be kind to yourself.

chocolatespiders · 01/01/2018 03:05

Really feel for you having been through this with 21 year old cat.

I have to say our vets took her out the back to get her canular in and shave paw before bringing her back to the room for the injection. I still honk about those last few minutes and wish I had done things differntly.
I miss her so.much and still have not been able to part with her electric heat pad even though another cat is out of the question.

I can't help but it does get easier.

Vinorosso74 · 01/01/2018 09:40

What a beautiful cat. I'm so sorry she's gone. We had ours PTS two months ago, the actual procedure was very peaceful and she passed in my arms. The vet said not to underestimate the grief from losing a much loved pet which is so true.
You won't forget her but it does get less painful. Look after yourself

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