How do you know when it's the right time to pts?

[brogueish]

I'd really appreciate some views on this because I just don't know what to do for the best.

My sweet old girl is 19. She takes fluoxetine and thyroid medication daily, has arthritis in her back hips (has seraquin for this), has in the past month or so starting vomiting regularly and is now also on Cerenia when necessary. She gets dehydrated often. She's currently on antibiotics for another UTI. I've been to the vets with her every week for the past 6 for something or another. She's recently started urinating on the doormat (she's an indoor cat but her litter tray is kept very clean). She jumps up to the sink to drink water and will stumble/fall either on the way up or down. She's not very surefooted these days and won't climb the stairs at all. The fur on her hind quarters is matted but she won't let me touch it, the vet suggested just leaving it rather than upsetting her by trying to untangle/remove them.

She sleeps most of the time (more than she used to), and sits on our laps in the evenings sometimes, but other than crying for food/water she doesn't interact with us much any more. I just don't know if her quality of life is acceptable.

The vet has run bloodwork again recently and they can find nothing obviously wrong with her, aside from what she's already being treated for. Her levels are all good, but she is just getting old and a bit fragile.

I really don't want her to be unhappy or in any pain or discomfort, or for her quality of life to be unbearably poor, and I know that I need to start thinking about the end. But how on earth do you decide when the time is right? I've had her for so long I get really emotional just thinking about it. I do not want her to suffer, DH thinks she's ok but I'm not so sure. I've been with her almost 10 years longer than I've been with him so we may have quite different perspectives. She was a timid rescue when I took her on so I'm really protective of her.

Can you give me your best advice, please?

Thank you.

She sounds like a really well loved cat, but being on that much medication, needing regular trips to the vet, vomiting regularly...I think if it was my pet I'd PTS now. Sorry.

Basically, if you are starting to wonder then it is time. Sorry. The behaviours you are talking about are definitely symptoms of the time. She can’t move as she wants, can’t stay as clean as she would like. It’s time.

Better a week too soon than a day too late.

We chose a date, just before a holiday, and spoiled him rotten in the time leading up to it. As it happens, the date we chose was too far away, and we needed to bring it forward. He just couldn’t go that long, as his bowels had started to pack up- lots of straining, no action.

Do it with some time to prepare and plan, not in a hurry because it’s desperate. That's all I can advise.

With one of mine (similar age + thyroid & kidney meds) there was a day when I could see in her eyes that she was unhappy. She couldn't get comfortable and just seemed to be struggling. I had thought a day earlier that she was ready but the vet seemed optimistic (on what grounds I don't know) but within 24 hours I was sure. She was pts within a few hours.

Thank you. I know you're both right. When I wrote it all out it really hit me. It feels as though her health has gradually declined so I haven;t noticed it getting so bad, but it is at a point now where as you say, she can't move as she wants, she can't keep herself clean, etc. My poor, poor little girl :(

I totally understand. I did everything for our boy but we had to let him go as he started to suffer. There is always that time when you know and you have to do what is right for them no matter how upset you are.I am depressed and not right yet but I still know that he was in pain and I did the right thing

It's a very stressful time and so difficult to know what to do. The vet who recently PTS my beautiful 20 year boy, just told me that I'd know when his time would be . I didn't really understand, but she was right. He had lots of ailments, was declining day by day, sleeping most of the time, eating but with no quality to his life. I didn't want the responsibility of deciding when the end of his life would be, but I also knew that it was my duty to do so. I took him to the vet so many times during his last month, especially his last week. Then one afternoon I knew that he wouldn't get better and I couldn't bear to see him so poorly

It genuinely is one last act of kindness you can do for her

Oh its a terrible decision but like the vet said with my old boys, better a day too early than a day too late :-(

Brogueish I know exactly what you mean when you say you didn't notice DCat's decline.* We had a similar situation, you do get used to what your cat can't / struggles to do. They are so good at hiding pain and just carrying on. Have you asked your vet's advice? It does sound like the time is nearing and I know how difficult it will be. She has been truly loved and cherished, no-one can ask for more than that from life.*

I understand exactly how difficult this is. We had ours PTS 3 weeks ago as she went downhill so fast.
I had "that conversation" with the vet about a month beforehand but she bounced back for a while after an anti sickness injection and was mostly happy but then got ill again and at 4am we knew there was a call to the vets first thing. We had the time to say goodbye. She withdrew
It is all about quality of life and what is best for your cat which hurts but you know you can't let them suffer. It is the last act of kindness

Thank you so much for all the lovely and kind posts. The issue has been sort of circled around with our vet in the past, but I emailed this afternoon to ask their advice, and they've replied that they agree it's about her quality of life now. I think we're going to enjoy the weekend together and spoil her a bit, and then make the arrangements for next week.

Thank you so much for sharing your experiences, it's been hugely helpful x

When you feel they have no quality of life. You will know.

I had to have two cats PTS last week, one Monday and one Wednesday... both caught cat flu aged almost 10, Siamese, both ended up in kidney failure and their bloods were off the chart. It was time.

Only you know but when there's no quality of life due to pain, suffering etc then it's the last kind thing you can do.

Awww @DancesWithOtters I'm sure he did know. Bless him

Oh OP I'm so sorry. I have always thought of pts as avoiding pain and suffering. My vet mentioned dignity. That was it for me. She had none. (Similar 19 year old. Thyroid and arthritis. Not grooming. I had to do it twice a day or else her long fur would matt.)
When they have a sudden injury or illness that is serious and they won't recover from it is clearer. So much harder when there is a gradual decline. You hardly notice it happening. After we lost old girl I remember thinking how she used to chase butterflies. She hadn't done that in years. Are they existing or actively enjoying whatever used to give them pleasure?
It's horrid.

@danceswithotters I would love to show you my beautiful girl :) If I've managed to do it correctly, I've attached three pictures of her, one is shortly after she came to live with me so she was about 2 years old, then there she is zonked out on my lap, and finally stretched out in all her glory about a year ago. In her prime she was magnificently beautiful (I know we're all biased but still!).

Looking at photos, it's clear how much she's declined over the past year, and especially the last 3-4 months. :(

@Wolfiefan Ah you saying that about butterflies has reminded me! My girl used to bring down daddy long legs and may bugs, I can't even begin to imagine her doing that sort of thing now. You're so right about existing. My poor old lady.

So sad reading everyone's stories

And danceswithotters, both of your cats are gorgeous. I love how they cover their face when they're sleeping, do not disturb! :)

Amber gold, but they vary depending on the light to be honest. These days though they do seem darker. Thank you. She has a few white patches but yes, she's a rare beauty :)

Can you believe that when I adopted her she'd been in the rescue home for ten months, nobody had wanted her! I think because she was so nervous, but just look at her!

I can't be too sad. We lost her a couple of years ago and what has stayed with me is the 17 lovely years we had. (Rescued her and her 18 month old kitten when she was two.) I remember her soft fluffy tummy and her pouting as we tickled under her chin. I remember her off her face on catnip! I remember her love of dreamies even when she had very few teeth. We were so lucky to have so many years with her. I treasure the memory while still missing her.