My beautiful boy has gone

[QueenieMum]

I had to have my cat PTS last Tuesday after he broke a leg in a fight. He was around 19 (a rescue cat so will never know for sure) and I'd had him for 18 years. It all happened so quickly. I'm devastated, in a way I never thought I would be. The house is so quiet without him and I feel so sad. If only I could have saved him from the fight - we've saved him from lots in the past. My DH and DD seem fine but I'm not, I miss him so much. Is this normal?

Aww, Queenie, so sorry!

I was crying for three days straight when my beloved ginger tom died at the age of 18. He'd been with me through my teens and had outlasted all of my relationships with men and most of my friendships.

I think it's perfectly normal to grieve for them. They are basically family members, after all.

I held my own, private memorial with my mum and exH (who also loved him to bits) for him. It helped a bit.

I am so sorry to hear this.

It's totally normal, I too experienced recently. I'm so sorry

So sorry for the loss of your brave boy. Defending his territory to the end.

Hi there. I am so sorry you're going through this too. I put my boy to sleep on thursday. He was 18 and I knew it was the right time but it still really hurts. I'm really feeling it as my 6 year-old dd is away with her dad so the house is so quiet too.

It sounds like it was a horrible shock for you but I'm sure you did what was best for him. You clearly took splendid care of him. What was his name?

I am so sorry.

Yes it's normal. There'll be good days and not so good days.

Hugs to you.

I'm so sorry to hear this. Sending love and

How awful. When our last cat died I kept thinking I'd seen him which set off the tears. He was part of your life for 18 years so of course you will be upset and miss him

That's very, very sad. So sorry to hear of your loss. We can only do what's best for them, even when it's the hardest decision in the world. You're grieving and in shock.
Take care of yourself

Thanks everyone, it's reassuring to know I'm not being overly dramatic. It was so hard to throw away his litter tray, scratch post, toys, etc and I keep doing the things that have become automatic to me such as checking whether he's in if it starts raining. I also keep wondering if I did the right thing by having him PTS rather than having his leg pinned. He was getting on a bit but he'd still have a go at other cats and even dogs! He was such a character. He was my baby before I even thought about having children.

His name was Bob.

19 is a good age for a cat.... fwiw I think you did the right thing for a cat that age. It's awful and horrible but it will get better. Be kind to yourself and allow yourself to grieve. Bob was gorgeous.

Bob was such a beautiful boy. Mine was called James. He was born at my feet so so long ago. Mine was a character too. Demanding Evian water in a glass most recently. I love a ginger.

I got a card from my vet today and she told me I did the right thing, the kindest thing for my friend. That's our job I guess, being able to do what is kindest for them.

Sorry for your loss. It's completely normal to be so sad. I lost my 19 yr old cat 2 years ago, and I still miss him and shed a few tears every so often. I've since got a new rescue cat who I totally adore, but he's very different in character and certainly hasn't replaced my old boy who I had before I'd even met my husband let alone had 3 kids. Xxx

Bob was gorgeous, what a lovely boy!

Having spent almost two decades with lovely Johnny, I'll always have a bit of a soft spot for gingers.

Perfectly normal to del this way. I won't have pets now as I get way too emotional when they die.

RIP dear puss What a lucky boy to have had so much love for so many years. Are you going to have him cremated or buried? Our old girl's ashes are buried in her favourite spot in the front garden with a little memorial stone. It helps to know she's at rest out there.

Posie - The vet gave me the choice of taking Bob home once he'd passed but, because I couldn't think straight, I just said I couldn't take a dead cat home. He's being cremated (individual cremation) and returned to me in a bio degradable cylinder thingy. I was thinking of scattering his ashes in his favourite sleeping place in the garden but the more I think about it, the more I want to keep the ashes. I'll put them in his favourite spot in the window. I was so lucky to have Bob and to have had him for so long.

Isadorable - Bob used to have water from a glass too! He was really ill some years ago and it was the only way I could get him to drink, then for many years after he would only drink from a glass. What a beauty James was, and to know him from birth must gave been special too.

QueenieMum I was exactly the same at the vets, couldn't think straight and was sobbing my heart out, (had also had to make the decision there and then) and definitely couldn't face taking her home. We had her individually cremated too and I don't regret that decision. You'll know what to do when you get him back. You'll always have wonderful memories of Bob, and a bittersweet ache for him too. He was a lucky cat to have had you, too.

Bossy you are spot on, he was a family member - in fact he was my family for a while. I will always love a ginger tom! Like Johnny, Bob was with me through thick and thin and it's really strange not having him around. I might get a rock engraved (or try and paint one) to go in the garden, good idea to have some kind of memorial.

I hope you don't mind me jumping in, but I wanted to suggest something if you didn't like the idea of your lovely boy's ashes being outside. My two beautiful cats were cremated but I couldn't bear the thought of leaving them behind if we ever move house, so the ashes were returned to us in beautiful oak frames. One hangs on the wall with a lovely photo inside and the ashes are very discreet - most people would probably not even notice. My gorgeous boy died about eight weeks ago and I haven't been able to go through his photos yet, but when I do, we will hang the frame next to his sister. It brings me comfort, and I often sit entirely and enjoy a cuppa with my lovely girl in the conservatory, where she liked to sit.

Let me know if you want me to find details of the sort of thing I mean

Sit quietly, not entirely