To write a fatty and smith instruction Manual for cattery

[Toddlerteaplease]

The terrible twosome are going to a cattery while I'm away. It's so posh I quite fancy booking myself in. They usually have a cat sitter but due to their recent dramas I'm to nervous to leave them unsupervised. Would it be really OTT to write a list of instructions for the cattery. Particularly so they can tell them apart. The lady I spoke to was confident she would be able to by the end of the week. Ha ha ha or am I just being a helicopter cat mummy?

6-7 I don't know their exact date of birth. Made a start on the instructions, not sure I'll give it them. It I loved writing it!

Its lime writing essays at college pretend you have to cut 200 words! Can you message rhem with it on favebook? That way you wont hold up the queue when you check in or get a reputation

This ipad writes any letters it fancies!

Ha ha it's less than one page and is in bullet points. I've probably already got a reputation!

Trying to decide what 'spa' treatments they need. I don't think they need a dry shampoo!

Oh its very posh isnt it? Im still up in the air deciding if mine had any or not. It was included in the price but who knows. Are they alot more?

Eye clean, claws, dry shampoo and furminator treatment is about £18 each.

Thats not bad for all three

Have you gone yet?

Waiting for my dad email it back to me'

Oo read that wrong. Thought you said have you written instructions yet! I go next week. Is this ok?

My god they've been through it to say the least?!!! It's a lovely notice they'll probably just pin it up. Are they in or out doors?

Yes they have been in the wars. Poor things. They are both indoor cats. They go in the garden but aren't fussed.

I've only written it because they are absolutely identical to everyone except me!

Oh bless them, they are gorgeous - give them strokes from me.

I love the bit about Maia's runny eyes - Harry has one runny eye and he won't let me clean it but I'm allowed to pick it off with my nail! Personally I'd rather have my eye wiped than picked but what do I know?!

It's bizarre isn't it. My friend has the most grumpiest Persian ever. He can't brush her but she'll let him pick her eye snot off. I put that I. Because I didn't want the cattery to think I neglect their eye.

I had to explain it to yet he vet after she suggested I bathe his eye. I'm sure she either thinks I neglect him or I'm just mad!

Well they are all ensconced and both hiding in their very posh holiday home. I think the bloke thought I was a bit bonkers when I gave him the piece of paper. But he'd obviously read their online profile as he commented on the shape of their eyes. Looking forward to some lovely photos of them. Hope they enjoy watching the ducks and chickens.

Are you on holiday or having work done?

On holiday, just for a week.

Enjoy yourself. I wasn't asking if u were having a face lift btw!

Oh, I thought you meant work done to the house. Plastic surgery didn't even occur to me! But not a bad idea

Just got them home. The owner said they'd been very timid but had chilled out a bit. They loved their pamper package apparently. They have kept the manual on file for next time. Snorg is being very vocal!

Oh so you'd use them again? was it really expensive? Did they shout at you all the way home?

Yes definitely. Snorg was unusually vocal when we got home. I think she was just telling me all about it. First time I've ever heard a proper meow from her. Neither of them sulking. Both demanding tummy tickles. (Quite rare) and very affectionate.