Tell me your funniest cat stories.

[Toddlerteaplease]

Just that really!

[pterobore]

My darling mog cat one year found a nest of baby rabbits and brought one home. She was just coming through the cat flap with the live rabbit in her mouth when I saw her. I sort of squeaked her name and she froze with her head through the cat flap and posted the rabbit into my utility room before reversing back out the cat flap. We then had a fun 20 minutes trying to catch it. She died earlier this year and it was the funniest thing I've ever seen a cat do.

On another occasion one or my cats caught a mouse (they're not usually so good at hunting) and to stop it running away I put my hands over it. Unfortunately I was wearing a long sleeve top and didn't have the best coverage of the mouse and it ran right up my sleeve and into my top.

[user1482261465]

Not a funny story as such but my mums cat plays fetch. If you throw a ball for him he will bring it back and drop it at your feet, my dog won't even play fetch lol

[pterobore]

And I used to have a lovely sphynx and one summer she was outside rolling around and two crows flew down next to her. Her tail was completely hairless and it'd never occurred to me before that day how much it looked like a worm or snake. And I looked over to her and the crows are trying to pick up her tail. She was so friendly that she didn't seem to mind

[bertsdinner]

Mine does a really weird forward roll when he lunges at his "cat teaser", feather on a stick toy. He rolls over on the shoulder, I call it his commando roll.

[Ilovecaindingle]

My childhood cat used to bring worms in and sing to them loudly!! Never killed them tho!!
A crabby Persian I had used to stop our dog getting close to the fire. Hissed and spat if she dared get a paw on the rug!!

[Meridien]

When I was about six and had Tom, my much loved first cat, a huge black and white badass cat:

Dad looked out of the kitchen window at Tom munching on some bacon rashers, and said ‘The cat’s eating our breakfast bacon’. Mum: ‘We haven’t got any bacon...’

Another time Tom came in carrying a piece of haddock, fried on one side and still hot.

Back in the 1980s when we moved house, I had to work on the day of the move. My (now ex-) OH promised all would go well, logistics was his professional field after all. When I left the old house in the morning three cats, their litter trays and food and water, were safely shut in the designated bedroom and the sign saying not to open the door, cats inside, was stuck to the door.

Getting to the new house at around 6 in the evening. I saw the same sign on the bedroom door where I expected it to be, and breathed a sigh of relief. Then a removal man walked past me and said ‘We been in there missus, ain’t no cats in there’. !&*%!!! After some heated phone calls we tracked down the estate agent who, fortunately for my OH, still had the keys as the new owners weren’t moving in until the following day.

We raced back to the house just managing to keep inside the speed limit, and rescued our cats. They looked a bit puzzled but they were a lot cooler than we were. The two just-neutered kittens, still with stitches in, had been well looked after by our elderly neutered boy nursemaid moggy and all was well. Except for the ex... !

Squirrel, a part-Siamese fruitcake, couldn’t tolerate closed doors. She was asleep on the sofa when OH closed the living room door when he came in. Neuroticat immediately woke up, went and sat beside the closed door howling her stripey head off. As soon as I opened the door she went back to the sofa and went back to sleep. As thick as two short planks with a short plank filling, but adorable.

Biggles, Squirrel’s sister, a roly-poly runt with a low centre of gravity just right for fishing, kept leaving neatly nibbled fish skeletons complete with heads, on the garden path. This went on for a few weeks one summer. Taking a walk one evening I met two neighbours discussing the fish disappearing from a garden pond. ‘Must be that heron’ I said, and walked on. Whoops, that was close!

[OliviaStabler]

Not my cats but next doors. Years ago I cooked some sausages for my lunch. Decided to cook more than I needed and would eat the others later.

While eating lunch I heard noises from the kitchen. Walked in to see both neighbours cats eating the leftover sausages like they had never been fed. They'd managed to get I'm through a tiny gap in the kitchen window. Neither looked embaressed so I left them to it

[1980sChick]

My first cat who I miss dearly came to us as my 18th birthday present. Needless to say he was my fur baby.

For his 1st Christmas I decided to buy him a present so I spent the afternoon wrapping all my gifts up and put them under the tree.

The next day me and my brother arrived home from college to see our cat lying on his back drooling amongst torn wrapping paper and boxes, baubles all off the tree literally looked like we'd been burgled there was that much mess.

That was the 1st and last time I bought him catnip as a present. And also the day I found out why cats love the stuff so much

[cozietoesie]

Oneago thieved an entire large net of BabyBel one day. Took it from the kitchen and upstairs to the bedroom - doubtless so that he could eat in comfort. I had been to the shops and arrived home to find the entire bedroom (pale fawn carpet) covered in litter and red wax. Oneago was flat out on the bed snoring in satiety.

I should give masterclasses on the .Housekeeping Board about getting coloured wax out of pale carpet!

[Weedsnseeds1]

I used to work at a factory that cut and packed Edam. A lot of wax cracks off when you are cutting it. It's very therapeutic to knead and fiddle with it at your desk, then you absent mindedly shove it in your pocket and forget to check pockets when you throw your clothes in the wash. Everyone at that place had red streaked work clothes!

[iloveeverykindofcat]

A prizewinning Abyssinian queen and a local tomcat co-operated to lever a window open whilst she was in heat. The results are attached. Mine is the elfin tricolour in the middle, eyes open.

[Weedsnseeds1]

That looks like a happy mix of genes!

[iloveeverykindofcat]

She is stunningly beautiful and very sweet. Not the sharpest tool in the shed (I also have an intelligent cat for comparison) but hey, its not like she has to go out and earn a living.

[TheCakes]

A few years ago we got a toy tiger paw on a trip to the zoo. When you bash it, it roars like a tiger. Somehow it's ended up under the edge of our bed.
Last week Ozzy spotted it and decided it was time to stalk his prey. He got low down, crept up on it and pounced.....
.....and it roared back at him!!!
Poor kitten flew out of the bedroom faster than I've ever seen him move and now he won't go near that side of the bed, where the scary creature lives.