Cat/Kitten experts please help

[Namechangeemergency]

Hello.
I want to get a cat after the Christmas period is safely over.
I would really like a kitten rather than an older cat.

The reason for this is that I have three small dogs and three kids still at home.
This means we are a busy, fairly noisy household albeit one that is experienced with animals.

I of course want a rescue kitten.

The first rescue I approached were very nice but are clearly not dog people and referred to my dogs as 'a pack' and expressed concern that an inexperienced kitten wouldn't cope.

My dogs are not a pack at all. They do not work in a group and are not best mates.
I am listening to the rescue. I don't want to put a kitten in danger but I have always had kittens and dogs and have never encountered an issue before.

They suggested an older cat (an adolescent) who had lived with dogs.

My biggest concern is that an older cat, once sizing up the household might just vote with their paws and bugger off before they have settled in.
A kitten is much easier to contain and introduce very slowly to different parts of the house and different residents. I would also be keeping a kitten in for a longer period. Something an older cat might find distressing.

I think my dogs would be more threatened by a large cat than they would be by a kitten. They are very small dogs, about the size of a med-large cat.

What do you lot think?

I have never had a dog injure a cat before. I find cats are much more able to size situations up and get out the way but the rescue was clearly concerned and I don't want to dismiss that

Personally I would go for a slightly older cat who is used to dogs and children. It wouldn't necessarily bugger off, they aren't stupid and know where they're well off. We had cats and dogs when I lived at home and the cat (always al older one) was always boss.

I have two large dogs and two teenagers. Our 18 year old cat died at the start of the year. None of us had never been without a cat before and didn't want to live in a cat free household.

Our dogs are big and bouncy and they chase cats and hens etc. However, they were fine with our cat and our hens so we knew we could train them to be fine with cats living in our house but weren't sure a rescue centre would understand that.

We decided we wanted 2 kittens as we've always had older rescue cats before. We thought it would be easier to get kittens used to our dogs than older cats.

Anyway, we saw a local advert for 2 kittens born in a household with dogs. We went to see them and their dogs were really loud and scary - had to be shut in the garden because we were there. Our dogs aren't like that at all, they're just big and a bit excitable and friendly. The kittens didn't turn a hair to all the barking etc. so we decided to get them.

For the first couple of weeks we kept the kittens in our dining room which adjoins the kitchen where the dogs are. We had a stairgate between the two which we knew neither dogs or cats would jump over. We wrapped cling film round the stairgate so the kittens couldn't walk through! Anyway, this way they could see each other and get used to each other without touching.

It worked really well. The dogs were really excited to start off with but soon got used to them. The kittens would come to the stairgate to investigate and the dogs would get a good sniff of them. After a couple of weeks we allowed them into each others rooms for short, supervised access which was fine. Then we took the stairgates away and everyone's been happy.

The kittens know how far they can push it with the dogs. They know to keep away when they're eating. They will play with a wagging tail but never leap on them. They touch noses and one of the kittens with groom one of the dogs a bit. Last night we all sat in the living room with dogs and kittens lying on the rug in front of the fire - not touching each other but completely relaxed.

Our children are 13 and 16 so I have been very helpful, however if they were younger they would have been fine too as they're very used to animals and don't have silly expectations of them.

Go for it.

Thanks for your posts. They are really useful for working out what the introductions might look like.

I understand why two kittens may be better than one although this rescue seems to decide depending on the kitten's personality.

I will see what happens. I would love a ginger boy but I don't really mind what the kitten looks like. I will take any colour/shape etc. I am keen to take the odd looking ones that struggle to get homes. I have no problems with three legged/one eyed/no tailed ones.

Most of my animals have been odd balls.

So despite all the people pointing out why a kitten is a bad idea..
AIBU?
Yes.
Well I don't think IABU so there!

What?

There are a range of opinions on this thread
I didn't ask anyone if they thought I should get a kitten or not. I asked for experiences thoughts and advice
This isn't AIBU.

HTH

You seem convinced you know better than everyone else on the thread.
Kittens are tiny.
Kittens are unpredictable.
Kittens are fragile.
Kittens are flighty.
Kittens need a calm introduction to a household.
None of what you have posted suggests that this is right for your house.
It's just you want a kitten.

Sorry if I missed it, I tried to read, how old are the kids? Rescue kittens won't be placed with under 4s, I found.

I don't think an older cat would necessary leg it, besides cats can decide to leggit at any age. They don't really love us (they bestow their graces and favours as long as we seem nice enough).

Cats are territorial & if you can convince your new cat that your home is now its territory, it will want to stay, especially if it already knows how to put the dogs in their place. Can you keep the cat away from the dogs completely for a week or 2 in your home? That would be the key to cat deciding to stay, ime.

No I don't.
You just seem VERY cross that I am not doing exactly what you think I should.

Which is a bit weird as this has nothing to do with you and has zero impact on your life.

You post doesn't make any sense at all. I have shown an understanding of the needs of kittens. I have put plans in place for careful introductions.

What about my household makes it entirely unsuitable for a kitten?

Because I have dogs?
Because I have children?

You dont know anything else about my domestic set up so it must be one or both of those things.

Do you think that kittens cannot live with dogs or children? I don't agree with you nor do a lot of other people.

Do you hop up and down in fury every time someone doesn't do as you tell them?
And what is wrong with 'wanting a kitten?'

I am assuming you are implying that I want an ickle fluffy lumkin to wuv.

Sorry to disappoint you but I want a kitten because I think, on balance, that introducing a younger animal into an established household of pets is a better idea than bringing in an older one.

I don't think I know better than everyone (although you clearly do think you know better than anyone) so I wanted to get a range of ideas and views. I have done this.

Why do you think you are better qualified to assess my situation than I?

Wow. Rude much. I explained why I thought it was a bad idea. So have many others.
I'm out.
Good luck.

llijkk no under 4s.
Do you think an older cat would cope with two weeks separation and being kept in?
What if the had been used to going out and about in their former home?

I would worry it would be a difficult introduction to their new home.

I have never homed an older cat so perhaps its one of the reasons why I am assuming it would be problematic.

'rude much'
Do you want some polish for that brass neck of yours
Your posts are rude, hectoring and hostile.

I have remained polite, if a bit exasperated.

MNers always talk about keeping cats in for a minimum of 2 weeks after moving house, whatever the age, some talk about 4-6 weeks before an outdoor cat is allowed back out! So 2 weeks fine.

Can you physically keep the cat separate from the dogs for 2 weeks? And keep the cat securely indoors? A lot of ppl don't let dogs upstairs so it's a safe space for cats to escape to as required.

We shut up our adult rescue in DS's bedroom for the first 6 days, iirc then started introductions to the other housecats which was a saga. This adult is a fat lazy old fart, though. We have to shove him outside to get some exercise. He could handle a dog, actually, but he's a brute who hates children so we had some other issues (much lovebombing required)

I was pressured into rehoming an older cat when I wanted a kitten. I took the advice of the rescue as they know more than I do about cats but I honestly wish I'd not listened and got a kitten. She hates being around children despite the rescue reassuring me that she's great with them. She bit, scratched and just clearly wasn't happy to live with us.

I had to rehome her. I don't think I would have had any of those issues with a kitten because my house would be all he/she would have known.

I could keep the cat upstairs with a stairgate to keep dogs downstairs.

TBH if the right cat came along age isn't really a massive issue (as long as cat was still young)
The cat offered in December was 18mths and I would have taken him if it had been a different time of year.
I think any older than that would be pretty unfair to the cat.

Do you think an older cat would cope with two weeks separation and being kept in?

In my experience, yes - it's best not to give a new cat the run of the entire house to begin with, even if there are no other animals to consider - it can overwhelm them before they've had chance to get used to the all new sounds and smells.

I wonder if a young cat that's just out of kittenhood might be the best way for you to go - old enough to have gained some confidence, but still at an age where it's curious about new experiences and will view your dogs as potential new playmates.

You may be right trusty and its something I will definitely consider.

I know I might come across as picky but its for the right reasons. I used to be a veterinary nurse for a welfare charity and saw the results of too many hasty decisions.
I had a detailed list before I got my dogs. Size, type, gender, age, coat type etc. It was all about getting the right fit.
I have never had to give up a dog or a cat and I really want to avoid that ever happening. (I know rehoming is not always the result of bad decisions).

lljkk the not liking children worries me a bit re older cats.
It would be pretty miserable for a cat who doesn't like kids. Some pets just don't cope with smaller humans however good they are with animals.

I guess I am thinking a kitten wouldn't know any different (as Brooklyn mentioned) so would accept the situation.

I think in your situation an older kitten might fit in well as it would be past the very tiny/very fragile stage, its personality would be more obvious (so easier to know that it would be confident around children & dogs) but it would still be "kittenish" without being in full-on destruction mode...
I'm sure there would be a lot of 6-8 month kittens in rescue as they're past the super-cute fluffball stage.

Are your dogs terriers, OP?

I used to work for a woman who had a lovely, chilled apricot Persian that she'd sometimes bring into work,he's just lie on my desk inviting tummy fuss, from all the clients. One day she came in, heartbroken. Her Airedale terriers had ripped poor Boris to pieces, even though he would pal around with the 3 Airedales. There were claw marks, and claws embedded in the gate, mixed in with Boris' blood.

It's a dog's instinct to work as a pack, because they are pack animals. Hence why a dog will fawn all over you, but you have to work hard to gain a cats' affection. And then still you may not get that from them.

You've been given some really good advice on this thread. Perhaps read it back objectively, rather than subjectively?

I think a lot of people are missing that it can also be down to the cats personality!

i have 2 cats, one is 2.5, the other is coming up 18mo, i had both from kittens of 8/9 weeks.

The eldest came from a friend who's cat had kittens, was bought up with dogs in the house and well socialised and she is, quite frankly, rather timid and somewhat hostile to anyone other than me, the kids certainly can't pet her, she recently warmed to DH, but still refuses to sit with him, she just doesn't try to bite him when he touches her now.

my 18mo boy was a rescue kitten, abandoned and picked up by a local rescue at about 5wks old. He is, essentially 'bomb proof' and a little pocket rocket of energy who loves to be fussed and likes nothing better than to torment the 3 labradors who live in the house next door.

The older one i would never bring into a house with dogs, the younger one, i would have no issue because despite his tiny stature (he's barely 3.6kg) he has no problems holding his own.

Kittens are not generic, you can't lump them all in the same boat.. its a matter of finding the right one to suit your home!

I agree CherrySkull, it doesn't matter so much about the age of the cat than the personality, which of course you don't know with kittens. My boy was around 3 when we adopted him and he strolled out of his carrier, found the food, water and litter tray and went to sleep!

Personally I would never have kittens, they are cute and I go all squishy when I see one but I prefer to have a housetrained teenage or adult cat and, let's be honest, there are a lot out there needing homes.

Sorry, OP, if this isn't what you want to hear but the rights of the cat/kitten need to be taken into account above our own selfish needs or wishes.

By any stretch of the imagination you would not be providing the sort of environment a cat or kitten would choose.

Since you suspect, and have been advised, that there are exceptional dangers for the kitten in your home and would still consider going ahead to adopt one is being negligent imho.

rubbish no they are not terriers.
I made a conscious decision not to get terriers.

The Pack/Dominance Theory is outdated. You won't find many dog behaviourists who subscribe to it.

I am not sure what you mean by subjectively/objectively.
Because I don't agree that dogs and cats/kids and cats cannot be safe/happy together doesn't mean I am ignoring everything

Its interesting that those posters who are determined that I am a irresponsible person who 'just wants a kitten' have not bothered to find out anything other than how many dogs/kids I have.

It really weird the amount of hostility someone wanting a kitten attracts on here.

I don't think I have posted anything particularly worrying or displayed a lack of understanding about possible issues.

But some posters have behaved as if I have suggested using the kitten as a dog toy and feeding it haribos whilst swinging it around by its tail.
WTF is all that about?

Sorry, OP, if this isn't what you want to hear but the rights of the cat/kitten need to be taken into account above our own selfish needs or wishes

By any stretch of the imagination you would not be providing the sort of environment a cat or kitten would choose

What on earth do you mean?

Its selfish to want to home a rescue kitten?
A cat would not 'chose' to live in my house? Why? Because dogs?

Counterpoint your whole post is hysterical. And I don't mean its funny. 'negligent'? FGS get a grip.

Oh dear god. I was bought up in a household with lots of children (and lots of friends who popped over all the time) with dogs, cats, numerous small fluffy squeaky things and none of them killed each other. Sat on each other in a furry pile? yes. played and slept together? yes. killed each other? no.

All our cats (and mine now) were either adult cats or tiny tiny kittens no one wanted. We introduced any new arrival into the home slowly making sure they had safe places to run to if need be. (normally one of the bedrooms for a couple of weeks). In fact my mums last dog was a HUGE german shepherd mix and loved all our cats, rabbits, rats and guinea pigs.

None of our cats left home. Some were moody gits but thats just who they were.

Hell we even had a stray cat turn up one year that happily slept in the outside porch for about 2 years. None of our pets batted an eyelid.

It's all down to how you know your dogs and how you train them to know you are the pack leader and what you say goes.

The only issue we ever had was a couple of tiny kittens (who were found very poorly by the side of the road tied in a bin bag) who suffered from attacks of slobbery licking from one of the dogs when our backs were turned as we had to keep them by the coal boiler in the kitchen to keep warm and toasty as we were having to syringe feed them.

All that did was make them a bit soggy round the edges