How do you begin to deal with the guilt of having to euthanise?

[Littlemissindependent]

I posted yesterday that I'd had to have my beautiful 3 year old girl pts. It was very sudden and unexpected and while I know it's only been a day I'm really struggling to cope with the decision I made. My hearts broken at the thought I may have made the wrong decision and ended her life too soon. She went so so peacefully in my arms but I just can't process that she's gone. She's been buried in my back garden under a rose bush and I've barely slept all night for feeling sick at the thought of my tiny little baby outside in the cold. I'm aware how stupid that sounds but I can't help how I feel. Stupid irrational thoughts in my head like what if she wasn't really truly gone when we buried her? I just don't know how to cope. I know her quality of life had been poor for the past few weeks but I genuinely hoped it could be managed with meds and I wouldn't be in this position for another few years. Just feel so broken.

It's the bravest and kindest act of love you can give. I know it's hard (and this thread made me cry) but you have ensured she's in no pain and she went knowing she was loved. Big hugs

Please be kind to yourself OP. My cat was 10 when PTS earlier this year. In my case the guilt is that I decided to not be there for her final moments. It's not that I didn't love her, I did, more than any other pet I've ever had. I suffer from chronic depression and knew that being there at the end would crush me. She knew she was loved and I was the one who had to continue on. It was the right decision for me.

I had a Willow too- a lilac point Siamese. I swear I heard my heart break when I had to have her put to sleep. We lost a Boycat at 18 months old We suffered a week of "what ifs" with him. I knew we could not possibly let him go on(it turned out he had a massive cerebellar defect) on the Friday but my husband didn't feel able to let him go until the Sunday. I wish I'd been able to prevail on my husband to have the poor baby PTS sooner, but I just had to wait on that occasion
.We have lost two boys suddenly,- just dropped dead in the garden. We've been through the whole gamut of the sufferings you describe. (30 years of cats here)
But in the end, it's the huge love you feel for them that makes you do what is right for them. Hang on to that and know that your Willow is no longer suffering, and as far as I am concerned she's in Heaven and she'll be there to greet you when you finally leave this earth. I am going to be most put out if there isn't a thundering of paws when I cross over, but if there is no Heaven, then I won't know will I?

Can't believe how lovely everyone on here has been. Thank you. I don't feel able to talk to anyone irl because I think they'd just tell me to get a grip. Starting to come to terms with it I think, she's not suffering anymore which is far far more important than how I'm feeling. I just miss her. So much. She was so loving and affectionate. I still feel like I've failed her. I guess i'll never know for sure and it's just something i'll have to live with.

I'm glad you're starting to come to turns with it, it will get a little easier day by day.

"I am going to be most put out if there isn't a thundering of paws when I cross over" - Three that's made me smile

Im sorry to hijack your thread but im sat here crying like a baby over my beatiful fluffy cat who died in the early hours of yesterday morning...i found her collapsed in my garage and rushed her to the vet but she died during the night....it was a blood clot due to heart failure...she was 15...she was my world and i just cant cope without her x

It's hard, especially with cats who are with you for decades. They are not just an animal but a unique companion in their own right. We had to unexpectedly put on of out elderly cats to sleep last year. He was in pain, unlikely to survive the op and if he had, the situation would have happened again ( major broken leg due to brittle bones). We euthanized as it was better than the alternative. It's the last service and care we can give our pets.

So sorry myusernamewastaken .