What questions do you ask your cat?

[DesolateWaist]

Every day I demand that my cat answers questions like:

• are you my fuzzy baby?
• are you the fluffiest girl in the whole world?
• are you the most beautiful baby ever?
• are you my little tiny love?

No wonder she's always asleep when I demand so much from her.

What questions do you endlessly ask?

Sorry, am I in your seat? (Two big sofas, I'm clearly in his spot, gonna rename him Sheldon)

Have you had a nice day ?
Do you want a cuddle?
Why do you keep bringing dead mice to me?
Why don't you have thumbs?

He is 16years old and very grumpy

Why do you want to come in and out and in and out?
Which cat food do you want? She selects a pack with her paw.
Can I have a kiss? She kisses me all the time.

I've only had to ask 'why is there a dead snake on the lawn' twice this year.

Actually, I analysed our conversations today. From me 'Is you a good boy/Mummy's Boy?' or 'What?'.

From Seniorboy? Mainly smiley almond eyes in response. I don't think our relationship is that equal!

Mainly:
What's up?
Are you my Babycat?

The only one that gets a miaow is:
Are you hungry?

I say it in different tones and he still understands the word hungry. It's amazing.

Have you been a good boy?
Do you want some food?
Do you want to go in the garden?
Have you missed mummy?

A
No
Yes
Yes
Missed the bed

Generally:

What have you caught?
Can't you eat it somewhere else?
Are you wet?
What's wrong with drying yourself on one of the other humans?

Or

Where the hell have you been?

Nice to know from these posts that I appear to be reasonably sane. Sticking with 'are you my gorgeous baby girl.'

Why, or why, did you just steal the leftover beef joint and carry it into the bedroom? I don't care about the joint but we now have blood on the covers and it looks like a murder scene

It was medium rare btw

You're my favourite fluffy black and white girl
You're my favourite short haired black and white girl
You're my favourite big fat tabby boy
You're my favourite noisy tabby girl
You're my favourite big black boy cat
You're my favourite ginger boy

That way they all think they are my favourite (but I love them all equally - although I would like to know who left a dead bird on the patio earlier)

Often have full on one way conversations with my boys... About everything.

And occasionally two way conversations when I answer for them in my best cat voice"

Where have you been to get covered in oil/ dirt/ dust/ paint?
and
Is that alive?

To Stripeycat: how are you here upstairs with me when literally four seconds ago I saw you out of the bedroom window? Can you teleport? Will you teach me?

To Shycat: how are you STILL afraid of DH when you have lived with him for your entire life?

Shycat almost certainly isn't afraid by the way - he's pretending!

Or she's pretending.

To the big ginger boy - "Will you please stop annoying the dogs!"

Ginger boy has a habit of hiding round corners and ambushing the poor dogs, winding himself in & out of their legs, and demanding they lick him dry when he comes in out of the rain. He has them under the paw, good & proper.

To the old tabby boy - "Surely you can't be hungry again?"

torthecatlady - I'm glad I'm not the only one who had two way convos in best cat voice!

Where the hell is your collar this time.
Why do you insist on leaving birds on my window ledge.
Why don't you shut up.
Why do you want out at 3.05am every bloody morning.

She's a twat prat of a cat 😺

psychotictabbycat - why are you such a pustulant beast? why are you purring and biting me?

damagedblackandwhitecat - why do you scratch at the window to come in when the catflap is open - and you just went out through it. Do you really think I will fall for the 'you didn't feed me' routine when I did and you walked off. Why would I know where your mouse is?

bastardgingercat - why are you doing that?

Kiss please
What are you doing?
Why are you washing my nose again? It's clean I promise
What do you want?

What questions do you ask your cat(s)?

'Which one of you bastards shit in my handbag this time?

"What yoo dooin'?"
"Oo's my boy?"
(Both said in my high squeaky "cat voice" much to DH's disgust - and the cat just LOOKS at me)

Are you mummy's little fluffywuffycat
Please stop walking on my breasts when I am mning in bed
What thef have you done in my shoe basket!!!!!!!!!!!!!! RIP winter boots