Please help, rescue cat HATES us [sad]

[milkmilklemonade12]

We adopted 2 cats in October, aged 9 and 8 (northern and daughter). The mother is chunky, loving and just a real lap cat. She's a beauty. Her daughter is just as beautiful, but she hates us.

She yowls really badly all the time, and literally only stays to eat, yowl a bit and then she literally screams to be let out. We took her to the vet as I was worried the yowling meant pain. Well that was a game in itself; we took both actually, to be weighed and have a registry check over as we hadn't been before. Getting mum into her carrier was a bit of a struggle, but fine. Daughter screamed, hissed, spat, yowled for hours (during and after) and scratched my husband really, really badly. We coaxed, bribed, spoke love lovingly and in light voices the whole time. DH didn't even shout in pain even when she bit and then scratched so badly, he was so conscious of not stressing her out. We put feliway in the box and her favourite blanket, toys and treats too. DH's hand still not healed completely several weeks on. Vet said nothing wrong, just vocal.

Fine, but since then the behaviour has become more like that of a feral cat. She yowls if we go near her, she's out 23 hours a day, she'd rather be in a freezing cold garden/alleyway then in the warm with her mum and us.

I don't know what to do. I feel like she hates us, and I'm starting to stress about summer holidays. How on earth we will get her into her carrier to be taken to the cattery is beyond me. We can't even get near.

The mum seems pretty indifferent to it all, she stands at the flap and calls for her in the evening, daughter comes in, bolts food, yowls and runs off again.

I can't honestly think of what we've done so wrong, since mum loves us and even tries to sleep with us! DS is nearly 6 and keeps well away from daughter, and there's someone home full time. We've tried feliway plug ins, catnip, toys, leaving her alone, lots of play and attention, I can't think of anything else...

What can I do? This is really stressing me out and I'm so sad she hates us I wanted to give her a better life but it hasn't worked, has it?

Wowling not working!

I would agree if the cat was permanently stressed, but in my experience they settle, gain trust and can even become affectionate, my most loving cat was one you couldn't get within ten feet of.

I'd at least try it, à new home and new people is a big change for a cat and it might just need to build trust and confidence, which won't happen if it's escaping outside all the time.

I know what you mean about confining, but she absolutely screams to get out and paws at the door. She won't be calmed for anything. Treats, cuddles, petting, being left alone, nothing. If she wants out; she wants out. I kind of don't want her to be distressed even more.

It's a difficult thing.

I expect this is perhaps why people don't rehome older cats perhaps? Poor thing. We'll get there.

She's still young though, she knows where home is and you see her enough to give vet care if she needs it.

Ours is calming down now he's 6 but was out all the time when he was younger.